Posted on 10/10/2005 11:56:05 AM PDT by H. Paul Pressler IV
Hoping to give their bland, cookie cutter ballpark a bit of flare before the playoffs begin, the Houston Astros installed a 40-by-190-foot pond in the outfield of Minute Maid Park on Monday.
“Sure, our left field fence is only Little League distance from home plate. And sure, we have a pointless, manmade hill with a flagpole stuck in it in centerfield. And sure, we have a giant choo-choo train drives around the perimeter of the field, but the novelty of that stuff has worn off since we opened the stadium six years ago,” said Houston general manager Tim Purpura. “It was time to change things up a little bit again.”
The giant pond, which is also 40-feet deep and contains eight adult alligators, sits in right-centerfield and will present an interesting challenge to pitchers and outfielders during the Astros-Braves National League divisional series that begins this afternoon.
“A stadium’s unique character adds to the fans’ enjoyment of the game,” said Purpura. “That all we’ve ever tried to do with our ballpark – make the game more exciting.”
The ground rules established by the Astros for the new pond makes any ball that finds its way into the water an automatic ground rule double. However, if a fielder dares go in search of the ball – while risking almost certain death due to the alligators – and re-emerges with it in hand, the entire side is retired.
“That life or death decision the outfielders will have to make every time the ball plunges into the water is going to make for some great baseball,” said Tom Williams, Houston’s grounds crew manager. “’Let the ball go and stay alive or help my team and risk almost certain death?’ That’s what baseball is all about.”
The Astros pay little mind to detractors who say Minute Maid Park is a joke.
“The so-called baseball purists have called our stadium a travesty ever since it’s opened, but we think they need to get with the times,” said Purpura. “Major league baseball is an entertainment industry first and foremost, and what could be more entertaining than an alligator-filled pond in the outfield? The dignity of the game be damned.”
Purpura said the team’s plan to install a giant Ferris wheel behind the pitcher’s mound was scrapped due to construction delays.
“We’ll have it installed in time for next season though, don’t worry about that,” he said. “And we’re also developing a series of trap doors that will randomly swallow base runners that we’re pretty excited about.”
This has to be a joke!
Hehe, hope it has lots of gators and snakes!
Yeah, the Braves don't need a huge alligator-filled pond to be intimidated out of the play-offs again. They've proven they can do it all on their own.
Reminds me of the skit in The Naked Gun which showed baseball bloopers, like the guy getting decapitated trying to catch a fly ball over the fence, or the guy getting mauled by the tiger while sliding into second base.
But will it be filled with orange juice?
In honor of the former name for the ballpark, they could fill it with worthless Enron stock.
Took a little while to realize it was satire - but hey, if you want to give it more character, how about *changing the name* ?
Know this is a joke...
"we have a pointless, manmade hill with a flagpole stuck in it in centerfield."
Flagpole is homage to old Tiger Stadium, and the hill is from old Forbes Field....
Ya think?
Someone should just blow-up that park. It's a total joke. Which BTW makes Roger Clemens low ERA even more impressive.
From Ballparks.com:
Tal’s Hill, a tribute to Crosley Field, is a 10° grass-covered incline in the deepest part of center field. It was named after the man who came up with the idea, Astros president Tal Smith.
Just because the left field fence is short, it doesn't matter, since both teams get their shot at it.
Dang it! Pitts/Cinn I knew it was one of the fields I'd never see! Thanks for the correction...
I like Minute Maid Park.
Took a little while to realize it was satire...I HOPE it didn't take much past reading "cookie-cutter ballpark" in sentence one...
Nah, the diver killin' dolphins from Louisiana are being hidden there, right under everyone's noses.
Mr. Carpenter, Mr. Pujols, would you like to try our fine line of snorkels?
Go 'Stros
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Actually, the early 20th Century parks had some peculiar characteristics. The Polo Grounds foul lines were only 250', and Philadelphia's Baker Bowl was so tiny that one year homers to left counted only as doubles.
But several parks had outfields much larger than any seen today, including Coors Field. Yankee Stadium's center field was 461', and it was 457' to left-center, so deep that the monuments were in-play Joe Dimaggio had it tough). Waashington's Griffith Stadium was 450' to left. Forbes Field's center-field was 480', so deep they actually parked the batting cage out there in-play during the game.
And next time you see Wille Mays' over-his-head catch from the '54 Series, look to his and your left. You'll note that there was no outfield wall there! That's where the fans entered and exited the Polo Grounds, which is what led to Merkle's boner--but that's another subject.
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