Posted on 10/23/2005 7:52:27 AM PDT by Chi-townChief
You love your White Sox, but as an American League fan, you may not have a firm grip yet on how to focus your dislike for their World Series' opponent, the Houston Astros. Perhaps I could be helpful in that regard. Having recently watched the Astros chew up and spit out a team for whom my allegiance is known, I had an opportunity to give that quite a bit of thought.
Strangely enough, the experience left me with nothing but respect for the Astros players, a formidable and highly professional team.
But everything else about the Astros stinks.
Barbara Bush in the house
This is, after all, the franchise that brought us the Astrodome and Astroturf, the first domed stadium and artificial playing surface respectively, dubious "innovations" from which baseball is still recovering and for which Houston richly deserves having gone 43 years without a World Series experience.
Then there's former first lady Barbara Bush, the president's mommy.
As a general rule, I don't give her a second thought. I'm sure she's a nice person, in her own way, someone who didn't mean to be hurtful with her comments about the hurricane victims staying in the Astrodome never having had it so good. I don't have anything against her.
That is, until she violated the cardinal rule about mixing sports with politics by sitting in a seat so close to home plate that you can see her head during every pitch of every at-bat in Houston's new domed stadium, Minute Maid Park.
Politics and baseball don't mix
Mrs. Bush and former President George H.W. Bush are seated just to the third base side of the plate during the Astros' home playoff games, close enough that you can see her unmistakable white hair in the lower right corner of the television frame from the center field camera. There's no getting away from her. She's always there.
Although the former president is usually out of camera shot, you can't see her without thinking about him sitting there, too, and even worse, you are reminded of their son, which makes you flash on Iraq and Supreme Court justices and all sorts of things that you don't want to mix with baseball.
For all the Republicans who I've just offended, how would you feel if that were the Clintons sitting back there?
See what I mean? It's irritating. It detracts from the game.
That's why politicians are never supposed to be introduced at sporting events or throw out the first pitch (although I'll admit George II was pretty impressive the way he chucked that ball in there right after 9/11).
At first, I hoped Mrs. Bush might cause the Astros right fielder to lose sight of the ball as it came off the bat, but manager Phil Garner seems to have learned how to position his outfielders to avoid that.
The Bushes are just one of many irritations at Minute Maid Park, which should come as no surprise as the entire place is filled with Texans.
(Don't forget that Minute Maid Park was originally known as Enron Field, in honor of a company that was another great Texas contribution to our modern world.)
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
One of the biggest annoyances is the loud buzzing noise that is played when certain players come to bat. Why the buzzing, you may find yourself wondering?
Well, the Astros have long had a nucleus of top players whose last names begin with the letter B, which gave rise to the nickname, Killer Bees. While the nickname is deserved, the buzzing is bush. Some Astros fans have even taken to dressing up in bee costumes. Another of those first inning Konerko homers would be better than hiring an exterminator.
The noise is all the more annoying because the Houston organization chooses to close the roof on the retractable dome, even during nice weather, to make it louder inside the stadium. Baseball does not need to emulate Arena Football, especially during the World Series.
Then there are what I call the "doink" home runs hit into the left field seats that the Astros call the Crawford Boxes after the street that runs outside the ballpark. The Crawford Boxes are kind of like the Green Monster at Fenway Park, except not as tall and without the grandfathered-in charm.
Think inside the box
Certain Astros players have mastered the art of "doinking" lazy fly balls into the Crawford Boxes for homers. The one who does it the best goes by the nickname Fat Elvis, an apt description of his physique.
As you may suspect, I would probably be less bitter about this if a certain team had figured out how to reach the left field seats as well as the Astros and will be greatly relieved if the Sox learn the technique during their three-game visit.
I'm thinking of a scenario where the Crawford Boxes would go down in baseball lore as A.J.'s Kitchen.
mailto:markbrown@suntimes.com
CHICAGOLAND PING
This guy needs to shove a sox in it.
What a bitter old bag and sore loser!! Bwhahahahahahaha!
Barbara Bush never ran for office and never intends to run for office. Hillary is seeking election to higher office if only because she can't unilaterally name herself dictator for life.
Perhaps we can convince Mrs. Bush to die her hair red, white and blue and hold up a big John 3:16 sign. It should send Mr. Brown into orbit.
My point exactly.
And leave it to a liberal to ignore the fact that former President and Mrs. Bush are seen regularly at Astros games.
Well .... for one it would bring a new meaning to the word "stealing" in baseball.
As long as she still wears her pearls! What a wonderful woman to come in for such an undeserved attack. Libs can never resist calling names.
I don't believe Barbara Bush presented herself as "co-president" but the author has conveniently forgotten that annoying little fact.
I wonder what his FR posting moniker is? He sounds like so many of the Bush haters on FR.
Love that mental picture!
Hey Chi-townChief ... I jst got up and you got me fired up already ! LOL!!!
The Bush family aside, Brown hasn't a clue about being a baseball fan.
And despite the emotionality of the last Busch Stadium game (which I truly do not understand) we also congratulated the Astros - standing ovation to the victors.
Hillary is also a baseball fan. Big Yankees fan--er--no make that a Red Sox fan--er--no that was last year--thats right shes a White sox fan --er--unless Houston wins.
Just got up??? You've missed the best part of the day!!!! LOL
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