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TV comedians target Cheney hunting accident
Mercury News ^ | 2-13-06 | AP

Posted on 02/13/2006 6:55:02 PM PST by Serious Capitalist

LOS ANGELES - Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here's a few of the jokes. --- "Late Show with David Letterman," CBS: _ "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." _ "But here is the sad part - before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." _ "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney." _ "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet." __ "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC: _ "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear. _ "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." _ "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'" _ "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!" --- "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," ...

(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cheney; comedy; leno; letterman; quailgate; tvcomedians
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actually these are pretty funny...
1 posted on 02/13/2006 6:55:05 PM PST by Serious Capitalist
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To: Serious Capitalist

As Rush asked today: What would you rather do? Take a drive with Ted Kennedy or go hunting with Dick Cheney? One would leave you to drown, the other calls for help!


2 posted on 02/13/2006 6:58:27 PM PST by BullDog108 ("Conservatives believe in God. Liberals think they are God." ---Ann Coulter)
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To: Serious Capitalist

I certain pars of Texas, it`s the responsibility of hunters to harvest as many lawyers as possible ( and a damn fine idea)


3 posted on 02/13/2006 6:58:51 PM PST by bybybill (If the Rats win, we are doomed)
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To: Serious Capitalist
Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent.

"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'

These two are quite funny, actually.
4 posted on 02/13/2006 7:00:35 PM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: Serious Capitalist

Hey, it's fair game.


5 posted on 02/13/2006 7:01:19 PM PST by Past Your Eyes (If we're not going to learn from the past, what's the point of having one. -Peggy Hill)
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To: Serious Capitalist
these are pretty funny...

Yes they are.

We knew the jokes were coming. So we might as well enjoy them.

You gotta believe Bush is going to be giving it to Cheney pretty good.

6 posted on 02/13/2006 7:03:37 PM PST by Mr. Brightside (Me? I'm just a lawn mower.)
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To: Serious Capitalist

I agree that they're funny, though I am sure the Left will use the incident as ammunition.


7 posted on 02/13/2006 7:03:50 PM PST by SALChamps03
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To: Serious Capitalist

Yah they are. If you can't laugh at Cheney over this your funny bone is busted.........


8 posted on 02/13/2006 7:04:07 PM PST by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: Serious Capitalist
Aerosmith's already written a song about the incident... Cheney Gotta Gun
9 posted on 02/13/2006 7:04:43 PM PST by MCH
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To: Serious Capitalist

LOL!
Yes they are, since the other hunter is going to be OK!
I still have not heard if Cheney still got his quail, though...


10 posted on 02/13/2006 7:05:49 PM PST by sarasmom (I don't care who John Gault is, I just need directions to his current location!)
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To: Past Your Eyes

LOL actually the fact it wasn't game is the whole problem .... ;)


11 posted on 02/13/2006 7:06:12 PM PST by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: festus
Early this morning I heard a song by Tim Cavenaugh (on the Bob and Tom show) about this incident. It was to the tune of "Janey's Got A Gun".

Our second in Command
Shot a 78 year old man

If it's online somewhere, I'd love to hear it again!

12 posted on 02/13/2006 7:07:16 PM PST by Dianna
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To: All

I thought that Jay Leno was going to be pre-empted this week because of the Olympics.


13 posted on 02/13/2006 7:09:34 PM PST by ClarenceThomasfan (It's like a plantation - and you know what I mean!)
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To: Serious Capitalist

When his buddy turns out to be OK, Cheney should have a sign made for his desk that says: The buck shot stops here.


14 posted on 02/13/2006 7:09:35 PM PST by stevem
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To: Serious Capitalist

Actually, they aren't that funny:

"we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."

"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear"

These guys shouldn't quit there day jobs.

OK, one was kind of funny: " In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."


15 posted on 02/13/2006 7:09:41 PM PST by frankjr
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To: Xenalyte

Good Start,, Richard Cheney.

Can we line a few more up.


16 posted on 02/13/2006 7:09:44 PM PST by TASMANIANRED (The Internet is the samizdat of liberty..".Liberty is the right and hope of all humanity"GW Bush)
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To: Serious Capitalist
There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.

Who's writing Leno's jokes?
This one is really lame.
They oughta be able to do much better.

17 posted on 02/13/2006 7:10:06 PM PST by Willie Green (Go Pat Go!!!)
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To: festus

I agree. But I'd like to hear from Cheney. He could address this on a morning show and make short work of the press frenzy...maybe on Imus or Rush


18 posted on 02/13/2006 7:11:41 PM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: stevem

;-D


19 posted on 02/13/2006 7:12:24 PM PST by Jedidah
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To: Serious Capitalist
actually these are pretty funny...

Yeah, they are!

Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." _ "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"

LMAO...

20 posted on 02/13/2006 7:13:19 PM PST by Fruitbat
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