Life in Post Gush Katif

A house is not a home. Not necessarily. And this house in Nitzan will never be our home. Though Rachel has worked her customary magic and turned a pigsty into a palace, this house cannot be our home.

This house cannot be our home, not because it is a temporary residence. We are committed to living here for a minimum of two years, maximum of four. But few things are as permanent as those labeled temporary, and there is no way of knowing how long we will actually be here. And Rachel managed to turn that most temporary and impersonal of dwellings, a hotel room, into more of a home than this can ever be.

This house cannot be our home because it was built by the bastards who destroyed our home in Neve Dekalim. This cannot be our home because we enter it under duress, and not of our own free will. Many refer to this as the Nitzan Refugee Camp. A high-class refugee camp, but a refugee camp nonetheless. But refugee signifies someone fleeing a conflict or natural disaster and being cared for by a neighboring state or aid agency. Perhaps we would better be described as displaced persons, making Nitzan a D.P. Camp. My own view is that we were not onlookers to a conflict but participants – I would like to say combatants, but we were far too genteel to have earned that title – which makes our present domicile an Internment Camp, even a POW Camp.

[Aside: A complicated subject, why we are in Nitzan. Technically – theoretically – we can go where we want. Practically, there is no choice. I wanted to go to a community in Judea or Samaria, where the next stage of the struggle – yes, even though I still believe it is hopeless – will take place. Rachel wanted Nitzan because those most in need are here and she feels her Operation Dignity charitable work requires her to be here. And she says we are too old to go through another expulsion. Add to the mix that our Bolshevik government has stated that no compensation will be paid to any of the Gush Katif refugees who go to Judea or Samaria. So, instead of tilting at windmills in Judea and Samaria we are moping in Nitzan.]

The move from the hotel was exhausting. Certainly it was murderously so for Rachel, who runs between setting up the house and helping Dafna and the babies, suffering all the while from severe sciatica. Three weeks ago Friday our belongings were transferred from the shipping container behind Dafna's home and we worked every day, except Shabbat, to get things set up. More accurately, Rachel has worked every day. Ari and his girls have worked. My brother and my mother have worked. Girls from a local high school have worked. A Russian couple who helped in Neve Dekalim have worked. I run errands, carry out garbage, busy myself putting my cd's in order – they had been packed alphabetically, but young volunteers who wouldn't know their ABC's from their XYZ's were ordered to empty the boxes and fill the shelves and the result is chaos – and try and stay out of everyone's way. My friend David who runs a large company tells me I have achieved upper management status.

There have been moments of grand guignol during the week of preparation. I was sent to an office to complain about something or other and, while standing in a crowd waiting to attract the attention of some puffed up clerk, someone started pointing at me and yelling "I know you! I know you! But you don't know me!" All conversation ceased as everyone, clerkie included, stared at the both of us. "I was there when you were wounded on the Kissufim road. After they took you away I found your finger on the floor of your car!" I just stared. What was I supposed to say? So I said, "What did you do with it?", fully prepared to hear that he had pickled it or mounted it on a frame over his fireplace. "I gave it to an army rabbi" he said.

[For years after my right arm was blown off I was obsessed with its final resting place. The katyusha had exploded just behind me, at waist level, and I saw my arm fly into Egyptian territory, the arm itself obscured by the sleeve of my uniform, the sun glinting off my watch as the limb spiraled away. The IDF Rabbinate was supposed to have retrieved it but that is hardly possible considering where it landed. So my arm is somewhere in the Land of Lost Limbs. I've hardly spent time wondering about my finger, which I know was retrieved. It was certainly disposed of halachically, though I prefer to think of it as being in the Field of Forgotten Fingers. If there is an afterlife for detached digits I hope it has found a disembodied nose to… scratch.]

The actual move was made a week ago Sunday. Initially most things that can go wrong, went wrong. Our air conditioner is firm X and we were given remotes from firm Y. That's been straightened out. Cable tv has been hooked up but the remote only gets you some cooking channel in an Eastern European country I cannot identify. [Anyone know of a land where rat pie is a delicacy?] The washing machine was hooked up without the small rubber disk on the hose connecting it to the water, so one has to wear a bathing suit while doing laundry. Our four-burner stove is now a three-burner stove as we lost a part. And on and on it goes. Still, pictures are hung throughout the house so it clearly is a La Passionara dwelling.

The house seems large, 90 square meters, with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. In fact it is very cramped, and though we have lived in far smaller places the sense of crowding is overwhelming. Perhaps we own too much. Certainly we're bouncing off each other the way we did in the hotel room.

It is shoddily built, rather, the building materials are shoddy. Plasterboard walls that you can punch a hole through, just leaning against them makes you fear collapse, and floor tiles that magically always look filthy. Wash them, scrub them, they still look like someone just threw up on them.

Here and there a surprising plus. We have two bathrooms, which means I can leave the toilet seat up without getting yelled at. And – you are aware of my obsession with excretion and my passion for doing laundry – as the front-loader washing machine is in my toilet I can combine these disparate pleasures. Sitting on the oval seat doing my thing while watching the clothes whirl in the spin cycle is an wholly unexpected delight.

The yard is problematic. The idiots who put the grass down – the same mentally challenged folks responsible for the protruding pipe and short-circuiting sprinkler – were supposed to level the ground before putting down the squares of grassy turf. But they didn't bother, so its all hills and valleys and I stumble every time I walk through it. Most people leave their yards unadorned, either through lack of interest or lack of money or a refusal to enhance the enemy's property. But Rachel and our neighbors feel that we might as well live in beauty while we're here so she has gotten our Neve Dekalim gardener to fix things up. The cost is substantial but the results should be worth it. Of course there is a small fly in the yard ointment. A small black dog, domiciled two houses away, has chosen to fertilize our lawn. I'm going to find some way to skin the adorable little miscreant. [And I'll bet you thought I might actually get through an entire letter without mentioning dog poop…]

Also problematic is the noise level here. Not as horrific as the hotel and its Central Bus Station surroundings, but far worse than I imagined it would be. This is still a construction site and tractors and steamrollers abound, as do their noisy Arab operators. We are close to the main highway connecting Ashdod and Ashkelon and the truck traffic doesn't fade before midnight. An air force base is nearby and the jets roar overhead. An army base is adjacent and gunfire rings out all day. Railroad tracks parallel the highway and trains are frequent. [I'm developing a theory that the trains, generally idle in the yard reading, playing pinochle or strip-the-motor, sense when I'm getting into the car and hasten to close the road separating us from the highway.] Firecracker go off at all hours, this being the pre-Purim period. And buses, friendly and unfriendly, noisily crawl through our streets. The friendlies carry sympathetic visitors who get off to talk with Rachel. The unfriendlies carry visiting dignitaries whom the Expulsion Authority rushes through the town to show how happy and well-taken-care-of we are. These don't stop to talk to anyone.

More problematic for us, personally, is the nature of Nitzan itself. Israeli society in general is decidedly uncivil by Western standards. People are loud, aggressive, brutish. Those who are considerate of others are viewed as suckers, and the most corrupt are most admired. In the magical atmosphere that prevailed in Gush Katif there was an aura that induced calm even in times of great stress. Here in Nitzan the atmosphere is decidedly unmagical. Many people are broken by joblessness, hopelessness and a seemingly pointless existence. And those who are not broken are badly bent. I, who am a loner, find the atmosphere here oppressive but bearable. I fear most for Rachel, sensitive, gentle and outgoing.

Less problematic but more annoying is that I am gaining weight. In the weeks before the expulsion, unable to sit at the table in a house full of people, I began skipping meals. In the hotel I found the noise and atmosphere in the dining room simply torture, so I ate and ran. The result, though I myself hardly see and feel it, is a substantial weight loss. No, no need to panic, I'm not fading away. I've simply gone from obscenely obese to frightfully fat. What's interesting is that most people, with nothing to do in the hotel but eat, have gained enormous weight. In the narrow hotel hallways it was difficult to maneuver past people who had developed bulldozer-sized behinds. Now, here, I am able to go shopping and indulge myself as in days gone by. And my clothes are no longer loose. Alas…

It is almost midnight and I just stepped out for another cigar. Cars aplenty, groups of teenagers, the roar of trains and trucks. One of the things I hate about this place is that with the houses so close together, and so many street lamps, the sense of isolation I so cherished in Neve Dekalim is lost. One can't even see the stars, much less hear the waves.

Our first Shabbat – with food brought in from outside as Rachel was too exhausted to cook – was spent splendidly alone. We turned down all invitations and reveled in the relative silence. Friday night prayers, in a makeshift synagogue barely a fraction of the size of that in Neve Dekalim, found me surrounded by old friends and singing the old tunes. I could almost imagine… After prayers I spoke with a friend I hadn't seen since the expulsion. "We have been here two months" he said.

He looked at me as if I were mad. "After four months in a hotel? Praise God, this place seems like Paradise."

For all that don't know--we are forcing the people of Israel to give back the land that G-d gave them (like the 9th of Av)--(the so called Land for Peace--We give you Land, we give you the peace of Death)

Statement of the Middle East Quartet
After the meeting in New York City - (Waldorf Astoria Hotel, 16 July 2002, 13:00 local time)

United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan, Russian Foreign Minister Igor Ivanov, U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, Danish Foreign Minister Per Stig Moeller, High Representative for European Common Foreign and Security Policy Javier Solana and European Commissioner for External Affairs Chris Patten met in New York today. The Quartet members reviewed the situation in the Middle East and agreed to continue close consultations, as expressed in the Madrid Declaration, to which the Quartet remains fully committed, to promote a just, comprehensive, and lasting settlement of the Middle East conflict. The Quartet expresses its support for the convening of a further international Ministerial meeting at an appropriate time.

The Quartet deeply deplores today’s tragic killing of Israeli civilians and reiterates its strong and unequivocal condemnation of terrorism, including suicide bombing, which is morally repugnant and has caused great harm to the legitimate aspirations of the Palestinian people for a better future. Terrorists must not be allowed to kill the hope of an entire region, and a united international community, for genuine peace and security for both Palestinians and Israelis. The Quartet expresses once again its profound regret at the loss of innocent Israeli and Palestinian lives, and extends its sympathy to all those who have suffered loss. The Quartet members expressed their increasing concern about the mounting humanitarian crisis in Palestinian areas and their determination to address urgent Palestinian needs.

Consistent with President Bush’s June 24 statement, the UN, EU and Russia express their strong support for the goal of achieving a final Israeli-Palestinian settlement which, with intensive effort on security and reform by all, could be reached within three years from now. The UN, EU and Russia welcome President Bush’s commitment to active U.S. leadership toward that goal. The Quartet remains committed to implementing the vision of two states, Israel and an independent, viable and democratic Palestine, living side by side in peace and security, as affirmed by UN Security Council Resolution 1397. The Quartet members, in their individual capacity and jointly, pledge all possible efforts to realize the goals of reform, security and peace and reaffirm that progress in the political, security, economic, humanitarian, and institution-building fields must proceed together, hand-in-hand. The Quartet reiterates its welcome of the initiative of Saudi Arabia, endorsed by the Arab League Beirut Summit, as a significant contribution towards a comprehensive peace.

To assist progress toward these shared goals, the Quartet agreed on the importance of a coordinated international campaign to support Palestinian efforts at political and economic reform. The Quartet welcomes and encourages the strong Palestinian interest in fundamental reform, including the Palestinian 100-Day Reform Program. It also welcomes the willingness of regional states and the international community to assist the Palestinians to build institutions of good government, and to create a new governing framework of working democracy, in preparation _ for statehood. For these objectives to be realized, it is essential that well-prepared, free, open and democratic elections take place. The new international Task Force on Reform, which is comprised of representatives of the U.S., EU, UN Secretary General, Russia, Japan, Norway, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund, and which works under the auspices of the Quartet, will strive to develop and implement a comprehensive action plan for reform. The inaugural meeting of this Task Force in London July 10 discussed a detailed plan including specific Palestinian commitments. It will meet again in August to review actions in areas including civil society, financial accountability, local government, the market economy, elections, and. judicial and administrative reform.

Implementation of an action plan, with appropriate benchmarks for progress on reform measures, should lead to the establishment of a democratic Palestinian state characterized by the rule of law, separation of powers, and a vibrant free market economy that can best serve the interests of its people. The Quartet also commits itself to continuing to assist the parties in efforts to renew dialogue, and welcomes in this regard the recent high-level ministerial meetings between Israelis and Palestinians on the issues of security, economics and reform.

The Quartet agreed on the critical need to build new and efficient Palestinian security capabilities on sound bases of unified command, and transparency and accountability with regard to resources and conduct. Restructuring security institutions to serve these goals should lead to improvement in Palestinian security performance, which is essential to progress on other aspects of institutional transformation and realization of a Palestinian state committed to combating terror.

In this context, the Quartet notes Israel’s vital stake in the success of Palestinian reform. The Quartet calls upon Israel to take concrete steps to support the emergence of a viable Palestinian state. Recognizing Israel’s legitimate security concerns, these steps include immediate measures to ease the internal closures in certain areas and, as security improves through reciprocal steps, withdrawal of Israeli forces to their pre-September 28, 2000 positions. Moreover, frozen tax revenues should be released. In this connection, a more transparent and accountable mechanism is being put into place. In addition, consistent with the Mitchell Committee’s recommendations, Israel should stop all new settlement activity. Israel must also ensure full, safe and unfettered access for international and humanitarian personnel.

The Quartet reaffirms that there must be a negotiated permanent settlement based on UN Security Council resolutions 242 and 338. There can be no military solution to the conflict; Israelis and Palestinians must address the core issues that divide them, through sustained negotiations, if there is to be real and lasting peace and security. The Israeli occupation that began in 1967 must end, and Israel must have secure and recognized borders. The Quartet further reaffirms its commitment to the goal of a comprehensive regional peace between Israel and Lebanon, and Israel and Syria, based upon Resolutions 242 and 338, the Madrid terms of reference, and the principle of land for peace.

The Quartet looks forward to upcoming consultations with the Foreign Ministers of Jordan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and other regional partners, and determines to continue regular consultation on the situation in the Middle East at the principals’ level. The Quartet envoys will continue their work on the ground to support the work of the principals, to assist the Task Force on Reform, and to aid the parties in resuming a political dialogue in order to reach a solution to the core political questions.

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