With thanks to JustPiper:
"In Orange County, President Bush was talking about immigration. Bush said that massive deportation is unrealistic. He said you can't just move 12 million people to another country. I don't know, Mexico did it." --Jay Leno
"They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every year. Remember in the last election when the Democrats claimed there was two Americas? Turns out one of them was Mexico." --Jay Leno
"According to this new bill that's tied up in the Senate, illegal immigrants who can prove they've been here for two years would be allowed to stay. So follow the logic here. If you can prove you broke the current law for two years, you've protected under the new law." --Jay Leno
"Our cowardly, idiot Congress left on a two-week spring break. They're the biggest bunch of do-nothings. They didn't do anything. They didn't come to terms with the bill. They just left and went on vacation. So apparently, Congress is also on a temporary worker program." --Jay Leno
"As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite an impact on businesses. Restaurants had to close, construction sites had to shut down, the Yankees had to forfeit a game. ... Do you realize that Americans are now doing the jobs that immigrants won't do because they're out protesting?" --Jay Leno
"Over a million people marched today in cities across the country to protest immigration laws. And while we were watching them do that, a million more people snuck across the U.S./Mexican border." --Jay Leno
"Have you heard Hillary's plan for immigration? She's advocating what she calls a Smart Wall along the Mexican border. It will keep track of people using infrared cameras, remote controlled airplanes, and electronic devices. Yeah, that will work great -- she couldn't keep track of Bill in the White House." --Jay Leno
WHO: Bird Flu Cases Must Be Noted Sooner
WHO: Only Half of Human Bird Flu Cases Are Being Reported Within Two Weeks of Detection
By MARGIE MASON AP Medical Writer
DANANG, Vietnam May 6, 2006 (AP)— Only half the world's human bird flu cases are being reported to the World Health Organization within two weeks of being detected a response time that must be improved to avert a pandemic, a senior WHO official said Saturday.
Dr. Shigeru Omi, WHO's regional director for the Western Pacific, said it is estimated that countries would have only two to three weeks to stamp out, or at least slow, a pandemic flu strain after it began spreading in humans.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=1931433