Posted on 05/10/2006 9:57:25 PM PDT by Simplemines
I'm in desperate need of some advice and some help.
My husband was successfully operated on three months ago for pancreatic cancer. He was doing well til three weeks ago when he got dehydrated - a byproduct of the strong chemo regimen he was on.
He went to the hospital, where he was ignored and got worse. Within four days he went from dehydrated to septic shock, a situation the hospital caused by ignoring his symptoms.
He was on respirator, and I had all the Dr. Kevorkian clones running up to me all day to get me to sign a DNR (do not resusciate) order, despite that both my husband and I had decided after Terri's Schiavo's murder that we both wanted EVERYTHING done as long as possible.
Three weeks later, and after much threatening by me of anyone who even looked at him like they were measuring him for a coffin, he's getting better. The sepsis is gone. He's still weak and on a respirator, but two drs. today want to give him a tracheotomy and wean him off the vent.
Meanwhile, the dr. who went on vacation after my husband was admitted showed up. He wanted to talk to me, I thought, about the trach procedure. Instead, he blindsided me with some total BS about how my husband's "quality of life" isn't very good (no chit, Sherlock), and that he thinks my husband would rather just be taken off the respirator and be allowed to DIE.
Where this imbecile came up with this, I've NO idea. I had just seen my husband, who is 90 percent conscious and knows what's going on, and he nodded YES when I asked him if he wanted to live. (He also wrote it, weakly, on a pad.)
Dr. Kevorkian ran away when I told him that I'd put HIM on a respirator if he hurt my husband. He also acted like he "acquiesced" to my husband's and my wishes that he be allowed to recover from the infection this crummy hospital gave him that put him in ICU.
Now I'm scared to death that they're going to LET him die. We're a small family, and we can't be there 24/7 (it's an 80 mile roundtrip, and I am trying to do research because none of these drs. know enough to even learn his name, and they constantly contradict one another.)
I need HELP. I need advice. I need anyone who is northern NJ and wants to prevent a murder to help.
So please, if you know of any pro-life organizations, any anti-euthanasia groups, if you want to visit him and keep his spirits up (and make sure the Kevorkians don't get near him), please let me know. And please post with any suggestions.
God bless all of you. (And say a prayer for me, cause I'm going to pass out!)
You've got a point that threats can be counterproductive, but simply having family members there is not necessarily that helpful. I stood right there and watched as the nurse gave my mother the shot that shut down her breathing and sent her into her final downward spin. I didn't know what it was or what the side effects might be. It is only helpful to have someone monitoring if they have a clue what is going on medically -- which I did not.
Yes, if the family member doesn't have a good awareness of what is happening, it can be the same as nothing.
If you see someone be given something and then die right there in front of you in a minute or so, then you should request an autopsy to verify what happened in the toxicology of the blood.
Scary thing is that even the nurse and doctors are human.
A DNR doesn't mean withhold antibiotics. It doesn't mean withhold IV medicine's, food, etc.......( Although I have seen some people think it does..)
A DNR "says" if my heart should stop, or I should stop breathing...do not resuscitate me. And I've had to remind people that "this" patient didn't want "this"..or that "this" patient wants everything done short of intubation. As there are "levels" of code status too.
A tracheotomy can help your husband be weaned off the vent. And it can help in his comfort level. He may be able to speak with it, in place also.
Granted I do not know all the facts here...and with the utmost respect..your husband was more than probably immuno-suppressed..and a "set-up" for an infection. Just because he became symptomatic in the hospital...doesn't mean they "gave" it to him.
I can certainly understand your frustration...fore I have witnessed this type of behavior from doctor's and staff before...you may want to speak with a sympathetic case manager..or a ombudsman type within the hospital.
If I can help you please ask.......
I'm in south Jersey and will help you in any way I can. "North" Jersey could be one or sometimes two+ hours from me depending on how far west you are. I'm at exit 5. Let me know.
Prayers....
"You've got a point that threats can be counterproductive, but simply having family members there is not necessarily that helpful. I stood right there and watched as the nurse gave my mother the shot that shut down her breathing and sent her into her final downward spin. I didn't know what it was or what the side effects might be. It is only helpful to have someone monitoring if they have a clue what is going on medically -- which I did not."
It seems that you have to ask what everything is these days, and that's a shame.
Could the nurse, or doctor who ordered it, be brought up on charges?
Prayers your way. I wish I lived in New Jersey so I could help.
Very nice post. I've been there, did that with my 91 year old mom 1 1/2 years ago. I'm a registered nurse, and letting her go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But looking back, my sister and I now realize it was the kindest.
Sometimes the hospital clergy could be of comfort. Perhaps you could request that one visit you and your husband.
Prayers going up.
I would recommend getting an attorney to put pressure on the hospital.
I would also start looking for a different hospital. I don't know the reputations of any of the hospitals in your area. I don't know how far north you are in Jersey, but avoid University of Pennsylvania Hospital, and any hospitals affiliated with it. They are in the forefront of the euthanasia movement.
If you try to work within your state, that's fine but you must go to leaders you can trust or they'll double deal you.
Did you think of starting a web site with "fight" in it? If you start a web site, we'll help you expose what's going on. If you are too busy to start a web site, find a friend who can do it. A user friendly company is network solutions. (very easy to build)
TOLL FREE NUMBER FOR CONGRESS:
www.conservative-spirit.org
Ping. Kevorkians everywhere you turn.
I know. Contact the Thomas Moore Law Group. Google them asap. Don't let the "law group" turn you away. They are advocates, not ambulance chasers.
You need to be careful when you aren't at the hospital. They can make scenarios up when you aren't around...FV
Sometimes, a simple trach reversal can cause harm to the patient. It happened to a Terri fighter's mom. Sounds to me they are rushing this removal.
Have things been getting any better?
How are you holding up?
God bless you, your husband, and your family.
It's the weekend, and most of you know what that means. I'm very concerned about what the news will be on Monday. DadsGirl, Have you shared your experience with Simplemines?
bump -- somehow missed this earlier. just skimming through now.
who's in NJ?
RTL good advocate -- great idea, simplemines.
who's in NJ?
RTL good advocate -- great idea, simplemines.
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