Posted on 06/15/2006 6:21:07 PM PDT by UnklGene
MARK STEYN
‘Bush Lied! People Applied!’
In his address to the nation, President Bush said that the 15 million illegal aliens he’s planning to pardon “will have to wait in line behind those who played by the rules and followed the law.”
But here’s the thing: There is no line.
As John Derbyshire has pointed out, there are already 79 different visas offered by U.S. immigration, including 20 guest-worker programs. So take the president and the Senate at their word on the overwhelming need for a 21st program. That makes 80 different types of immigration status. Throw in American citizenship and there are 81 categories of legal person in the United States.
Suppose you go to a USCIS (as it’s now called) office and there are 81 officials behind 81 wickets, and you’re there because you’re applying for a Work Authorization Permit Type 73. The receptionist doesn’t say, “Ah, yes, Permit 73. That’s Clerk 73. Go and stand in Line 73. There’s 15 people ahead of you but she should get to you before the end of the day.” That’s not how it works. Instead, those 81 people are working on whatever they’re told the priority is. Sometimes 60 of them will be working on green cards and 21 will be working on citizenship applications. Then they get the word from high up that there’s an urgent need to process incoming citizens, so the 60 of them drop the green-card pile and scoot over to waving in new Americans — as they did in 1996, when the Clinton administration mysteriously decided it wanted a whole bunch of additional voters in place before November.
What do you think the priority will be when 15 million illegal aliens requiring adjustment of status are plunked into the waiting room? My wife had her green card stolen the other day and called 1-800-BUREAUCRATIC-HELL to find out what she had to do to get a new one. She couldn’t get through to anyone who could assist her, but in the course of two or three hours on hold she had plenty of opportunities to hear the outgoing message about how, if Congress passes the guest-worker program, USCIS are looking forward to helping persons interested in applying for this “benefit,” as they put it.
In other words, once these millions are dropped into the system, the Belgian or Botswanan wife of a U.S. citizen “who played by the rules and followed the law” will find that Clerk 73 who’s been working on her case for the last half-decade has now been shunted over to process the 15 million Jobs-Americans-Won’t-Do permits, and spousal applications are being dealt with by just one part-time official between 4:15 and 4:35 p.m. every second Tuesday.
She’d never get in.
It goes without saying that this is cruel and unusual punishment. If I were at MoveOn.org, I’d be printing up placards reading “BUSH LIED!! PEOPLE APPLIED!!!” Instead, let me just note that all the platitudes deployed by proponents of this wretched bill are utterly false:
“Family values don’t stop at the Rio Grande.” True. Instead, they stop at U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, where any American who makes the mistake of falling in love with a foreigner has his marriage treated like a corporate-fraud case in which the object is to get one partner to turn state’s evidence.
“We’re a nation of immigrants”? Not really. If we were, George Washington’s green card would have come through just in time for the Civil War. But, allowing that America once was, it’s not clear to me it is any longer. I’ve mentioned before the first signs of “white flight” from the fast-Islamifying Europe — the Dutch emigrants leaving the Netherlands for Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. A couple of Americans wrote to say, “Hey, why aren’t we getting any of this Dutch talent?” and I wrote back along the lines of: Are you kidding? If you’ve decided life in Amsterdam is miserable and you need to get out, the last place you’re going to apply is the U.S. embassy, where they’ll say, “Take a number, and we may get to you by 2013.”
That’s the other phony-baloney term floating around: “open borders.” I wish. Given that the United States has no problem legalizing millions of felons, I don’t see why we don’t just scrap the 79 visas entirely and say, Unless you’re in the Interpol computer for a series of unsolved prostitute murders in Dubrovnik or some such, come on in. I’d quite like to bring over a Mary Poppins type for my kids and, to be honest, given the contempt the Senate and the president and various state agencies have shown for U.S. immigration law, why shouldn’t I be allowed just to fly her straight in? But no, that will still take a decade of bureaucratic torpor to process. You’d almost think the so-called “comprehensive” reform was explicitly designed to deny America the best of the world’s immigration pool and give a de facto monopoly of access to an army of unskilled sub-minimum-wage labor.
Let’s take that last platitude: “the jobs Americans won’t do.” If that’s true, why not address why they won’t do ’em? The U.S. education system would not seem, to the casual observer, to be turning out millions of obviously overqualified alumni. In Europe, they’re on the brink of the abyss because immigration was an easy short-term salve for their structural defects. Why would America embrace the same strategy?
Ping!
USCIS. Pronounced as Us Kiss.
Here's another example of the INS / ICE being the worst-run agency in DC, with the possible exception of the Bureau of Indian Affairs.
Anything in the DHS is a black hole (FEMA is in there too). IT was a mistake to create DHS, and Bush (who didn't like the idea) hasn't done a good job in getting anything to work in DHS.
What do you expect from any agency within the bureaucratic nightmare that is the Department of Homeland Insecurity?
Well stated by Steyn. As usual.
The requirements for immigration at the time many of our grandparents or great grandparents arrived here were basicall a certain (very modest) amount of money in your pocket, the address of somebody here with whom you could live, and no evidence of TB or other contagious diseases.
I'd be in favor of something that basically required firm identification from the parent country, absence of a criminal record or any ties to terrorism or radicalism (frankly, I'd be perfectly happy not to admit any more Muslims in general), and either enough money or enough family here to guarantee that you would not head directly for the nearest welfare office upon entering the country. Steyn is absolutely right: the entire system is broken, not just the Rio Grande part of it.
I enjoy reading Mark Steyn. He depresses me.
More articles that lay out the whole picture would be good. I am particularily irked by diversity visas that have brought a bunch of Bengalis into our already multiculturally challenged area. Enough already!
Ping.
There seems to be a trend in articles tonight.
Steyne sounds like he's talked to you recently. ;-)
Pinz
Steyn gets it TOO!
Looks like our compassionate conservative President left out the
"devil in the details" when explaining his grand vision.
Wouldn't want to confuse the serfs with factual information, I guess.
I need to e-mail Mark Steyn. Do you have a link to his address?
Ping
Steyn the prophet has spoken. Let the wailing and lamentations of the Bushbots commence.
Hi Pinz...
Of course he's right as rain. I HOPE...I PRAY...that the Conference between the House and the Senate will deal with this "line" inequity. Part of the inequity is the way the law exists...even more inequity is caused by the fact that the computer systems to process the various visa types are different and take wildly varying times to process (different checks and standards). Standardize this and get it all to interface with the other government agencies and it WILL get better. The fact is that INS (BICE USCIS, whatever you call it), is the ugly step-child of Homeland Security. Once the Congresscritters realize that for nearly everyone in the line, there is a US CITIZEN AND VOTER who cares for that person, they might change their attitude...
Hastert has all but said this Senate scam is dead in the House. Ted Kennedy is about to have a mental breakdown over the news as we speak...
In the real world, these standardizations are, well, standard. (That's what my husband does for a major corporation to keep me in bon-bons.)
Is it really such a big job for a cabinet member to see that putting some time and energy into this one step will ease the chaos on immigration employees, speed the process for the good people in line, AND strengthen our security at the same time???
This is not rocket science. What the heck was Al Gore, Father of the Internet, doing with his Reinventing Government gig? This is what he SHOULD have been doing.
These are rhetorical questions, you know I'm not blasting you personally. Maybe it's time to write a letter to Mr. Chertoff.
Pinz
marking
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