Posted on 06/22/2006 2:30:13 PM PDT by mukraker
(Washington) An anonymous Washington DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country might be in trouble:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ." Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida vacation package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8 :33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepte d my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map! "So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
It's be better if we knew the Democrats from the Republicans.
Given that Vermont is an at-large congressional district...well, basically, I so want this to have happened in the last fifteen years. Nice going, Bernie.
Reminds me of a scene from Woody Allen's classic movie, "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" The movie is a spoof of a Japanese spy thriller, and Allen basically just took the movie and dubbed his own ludicrous English dialogue over the entire thing.
Leader of Spy Team (pointing to a map on a table): "This is where Mr. Wong lives."
Secret Agent (bending over and staring at the map with an incredulous look on his face): "YOU MEAN HE LIVES IN THIS SHEET OF PAPER?!?"
Leader (angrily gesturing at his subordinate): "No, you fool! It's a diagram of his house!!"
Just goes to show how of touch with reality the people in D.C. really are.
Watching CSPAN will erase any doubt that we do indeed have elected officials this dumb. It'd be funny, except that their decisions affect 300 million people.
Thanks for wasting our time. It's all made-up crap.
you guys didnt seriously think this was for real, did you?
like he said, this has been making the email rounds for years. sometimes as rival colleges, sometimes as blondes, now as political figures apparently...
Has there ever been a Congresswoman from New Hampshire? I googled and all I get is Kristin Scott-Thomas in the movie Random Hearts. And a "senior Vermont Congressman," when Vermont has only one seat?
I used to live in New Mexico, and it is truly amazing how many people think it is not in the US.
On the other hand, when people like Patrick Kennedy are real-life members of Congress...how do satirists manage to keep up?
OF COURSE they're all Democrats (and Lincoln Chaffee)!
agreed
Lighten up. I found it funny and copied and email to some friends so they could get a chuckle.
I love that movie. I don't believe it has ever been shown earlier than 2AM anytime it is on TV.
My favorite line:
The spy says something like "these bad guys are really bad!"
The girl says, "Really, how so?"
Spy says, "They are so bad, they commit murder, they commit arson, they pillage AND ... they ask for operator assistance for calls they could easily dial themselves!"
I checked out a bunch of viewer's comments about this movie once on Amazon.com, and it was pretty remarkable . . . it seemed like everyone graded it either 0 stars or 5 stars -- with almost nothing in between. I think that indicates which viewers actually understood what the movie was all about!
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