Posted on 09/02/2006 7:54:32 PM PDT by too short
Eagle Bridge, NY — August 3, 2006 — W Ketchup announced today it has sent 4 bottles of delicious W Ketchup to the office of failed presidential candidate John Kerry. W Ketchup took this move in response to media reports that attendance at Kerry’s last political rally in Iowa was sparse.
W Ketchup’s CEO Dan Oliver stated: “We may not agree with Mr. Kerry’s political views, but it’s sad when someone has a picnic and no one comes. We think if he had some delicious W Ketchup instead of some other brand, more people might enjoy his parties. We donated 4 bottles because we wanted to make sure that he would not run out on his next rally. We allocated 2 bottles for his supporters, and 2 bottles for the press.” Unconfirmed reports suggest that Kerry chose to eat a candied apple rather than stomach the harsh, vinegary taste of W Ketchup's leading competitor.
W Ketchup was founded to give Americans a choice of ketchup, and a choice not to support Heinz, Teresa Heinz, and John Kerry. W Ketchup is made for Americans, and is sold only in America.
The only organization W Ketchup donates money to is the Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund, which provides scholarships for the children of service members killed in the line of duty.
I have it on good authority that J F'n Kerry doesn't eat anything with tomatoes in it. Perfectly understandable for a lunatic nut job golddigging jigalo who understands every dime he owns is made from a tomatoe. How would you like to be completely at the mercy of tomatoes. I hope the somabitch dreams about tomatoes 5 days a week. Call it Justice.
Thank you.
I, proudly, have a case of 16 bottles in my pantry. And my family continues to eat their Heinz. Too bad for them.
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