An Arab Therapist Seeks to Lift the Veil On a Touchy Subject

Wall Street Journal ^ | October 11, 2006 | Mariam Fam

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

A veiled and observant Muslim medical doctor, Ms. [Heba] Kotb is a Cairo-based sex therapist -- which makes her a pioneer in this part of the world. She combines Islam and tradition with science and modernity, encouraging her conservative and religious audience to discuss a topic largely shunned in public.

Doing so, she says, will help save many a troubled marriage in the Arab world and rescue the young from inaccurate sexual information. "Sexual relations are like a gas station ... If the gas is no good, the car will break," she says. "This is what happens to marriages in the Arab world; most of them are in shambles."

Social researchers say studies on sex in the Arab world are scarce, partly because the taboo surrounding the issue makes it very difficult to gather credible information. But anecdotal evidence, they say, suggests many divorces stem from sexual problems.

Ms. Kotb is part of an important current -- Muslims recasting the age-old verses of the Islamic scripture to tackle real-life problems with a contemporary flair. They play increasingly prominent roles as many young Muslims rediscover their faith as an alternative to what some see as a promiscuous West.

The Islamic revival among the young and hip has coincided with an opening of the media. New satellite channels provide moderate preachers, and Ms. Kotb, with a podium.

With little or no sex education in Egypt, young men and women often depend on their peers, the Internet or other informal, and sometimes inaccurate, channels for information. Sexual relations outside wedlock are forbidden by Islam.

[the invisib1e hand]

memo to the world: I don't care if islam has a doctor al-Ruth. I didn't care 20 years ago, I don't care now.

[Ludicrous]

What does Ms. Kotb say about the clitorectomies that are all the rage in Egypt and SA? Perhaps that's a contributing factor to the sex problems leading to divorce?

I didn't read the article (wsj requires registration)

[Mamzelle]

Learning about Islam's bizarre sexual obsessions is useful --"Nine Parts of Desire", the Hidden World of Islamic Women by Geraldine Brooks (who even has a long chapter on Ayatollah Khomeni and his wife)--much recommended.

[sgtbono2002]

***"Sexual relations are like a gas station ... If the gas is no good, the car will break.***

Not a very good analogy. How about if the hose is too short the gas runs on the ground.

or-- If you grease it , it will go.

Or-- put it on the rack and lets see the undercarriage.

[DesignerChick]

OH?
Do tell!

[IncPen]

... or some guys drive a Datsun like it's a Mercedes... or...

[ricks_place]

With little or no sex education in Egypt, young men and women often depend on their peers, the Internet or ... willing sheep.

[doc1019]

Not being a psychiatrist or anything, wasn’t it Sigmund Freud that thought sexual frustration and suppression were the causes of most of the world’s problems?

Seems that there would be great opportunities for a sex therapist in Muslim society considering the apparent sexual frustration in the average Muslim male (if old Sigmund was right).

Great job opportunities here … never ending supply of sexually suppressed males and females.

Just think about it, women covered in Burkas head to foot, men covered in sheets, tons of sexual frustration (and suppressed curiosity) to go around.

Again, if Sigmund was right, the introduction of sex therapists into the Muslim world could end terrorism as we know it. /Big sarcasm symbol goes here

[onedoug]

Most sexual relations in the islamic world are likely homosexual for all the taboos and restraints placed on and about women.

[hardworking]

many a troubled marriage in the Arab world

No, I don't believe it! Why, how could that master culture of perfection possibly have ANY problems, particularly with marriages? Afterall, they KNOW everything and they are PERFECT in all ways, so one would only assume that they (particularly the women, who are so c-a-r-e-d for) would be happy, happy, happy! (sarc.)

[Mamzelle]

Brooks spent much time in the middle east, was a journalist for the WSJ. She was familiar with both Sunni (Egypt) and Shia (Iran) and had a good grasp of both Arabic and Farsi. She eventually married a Jew. The book is not entirely unsympathetic, which makes the overview even more readable.

I remember a part that was interesting--when she had a woman friend, a career Muslim woman in Cairo, who was eventually forced by the changing culture into full hijab. Another was an account of a middle-aged woman in Palestin whose husband took on a younger wife, and the anger of her son at the change in relationships. The Ayatollah's wife and daughters seemed very enlightened, highly educated and ambitious--I guess he didn't enforce a Muslim's prerogatives onto his own family, however he might pass laws both hideous and oppressive. His wife dyed her hair bright red.

[HP8753]

Social researchers say studies on sex in the Arab world are scarce, partly because the taboo surrounding the issue makes it very difficult to gather credible information.

I'd say it's because the researchers haven't figured out how to speak camel or goat yet.

[dr huer]

How do the terrorists recruit 20 year old boys to spend a year in the United States, go to school and learn how to fly a 747, and get them to hijack planes and fly them into the twin towers. Is real sex and love in Muslim society so terrible that the boys chose the imaginary pleasures of dying in crash and fire and spending eternity searching infinity for 72 virgins? Freud is right.