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My Dream Presidential Speech
Someone I would vote for.... | 10/21/2006 | No President I know of...

Posted on 10/21/2006 1:26:23 PM PDT by Positive

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a few extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America .

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: china; france; iraq; russia
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1 posted on 10/21/2006 1:26:25 PM PDT by Positive
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To: Positive

Thank God no American President would be this stupid.


2 posted on 10/21/2006 1:28:26 PM PDT by MNJohnnie (EeevilCon, Snowflake, Conservative Fundamentalist Gun Owning Bush Bot Dittohead reporting for duty!)
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To: Positive

Isolationism didnt work the first time, it won't work again.


3 posted on 10/21/2006 1:29:51 PM PDT by MassachusettsGOP (May the West and Republicans Always Win...)
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To: MNJohnnie
Thank God no American President would be this stupid.

Yep. God forbid we abandon moderation in a time of war.

4 posted on 10/21/2006 1:34:35 PM PDT by raybbr (You think it's bad now - wait till the anchor babies start to vote.)
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To: Positive

Scratch Spain from your list.


5 posted on 10/21/2006 1:34:43 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (Liberals would let Mark Foley be a Boy Scout leader.)
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To: Positive

Meanwhile, on Planet Earth...


6 posted on 10/21/2006 1:37:21 PM PDT by maquiladora
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To: Positive
This has been making the EMAIL rounds for several years, some are modified to use the money saved for the poor and children.
7 posted on 10/21/2006 1:42:39 PM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ("Remember the Alamo, Goliad and WACO, It is Time for a new San Jacinto")
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To: Positive
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days.

Hell, I'd be unemployed.

I'm not voting for this guy. ;-)

8 posted on 10/21/2006 1:44:54 PM PDT by Allegra (Super Elastic Bubble Plastic!)
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To: raybbr
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

That would be pure unmitigated stupitiy. The rest of it, fine, that part stupid.

9 posted on 10/21/2006 1:48:16 PM PDT by MNJohnnie (EeevilCon, Snowflake, Conservative Fundamentalist Gun Owning Bush Bot Dittohead reporting for duty!)
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To: Positive

Pat Buchanan, is that you?


10 posted on 10/21/2006 1:48:31 PM PDT by AZLiberty (Teddy drank, people sank.)
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To: MassachusettsGOP
Isolationism didnt work the first time, it won't work again.

Isolationism wont but a warning to everyone on List 2 that the first weapons we will reach for are the nukes would stop most crap from coming to our shores.

11 posted on 10/21/2006 1:48:47 PM PDT by Centurion2000 ("Be polite and courteous, but have a plan to KILL everybody you meet.")
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To: Michael.SF.
Scratch Spain from your list.

Heh...yeah. They were pretty good until they got their first true test.

Folded like a cheap suit.

12 posted on 10/21/2006 1:51:37 PM PDT by evad
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To: Positive
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

Dream on moment number one.

Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

Dream on moment number two.

13 posted on 10/21/2006 1:54:09 PM PDT by Non-Sequitur
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To: MNJohnnie

Here, here.


14 posted on 10/21/2006 1:57:05 PM PDT by dpa5923 (Small minds talk about people, normal minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.)
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To: Positive

Eliminate hunger???? Eliminate homelessness???? I just read yesterday that we can't give food stamps away. We're having to advertise for people to come get them. LBJ would've been a good President to your thinking.


15 posted on 10/21/2006 2:10:16 PM PDT by loreldan (Without coffee I am nothing.)
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To: Positive
Your dream president and mine don't see eye-to-eye. Mine would say:

"My fellow Americans, I have reached the conclusion it is all but impossible to differentiate friend from foe in Iraq. Today I am ordering our troops out of the populated areas of Iraq and the immediate construction of refugee camps in various areas or Iraq. As the camps are readied our military is to attack all populated areas of Iraq. Refugees will only be allowed into the camps after it is ascertained they are unarmed. Everyone remaining outside the jurisdiction of the camps will be regarded as an enemy. We intend to bring an end to this war in short order. Nations interfering with this objective will suffer dire military consequences.

Please pray for our troops and lend them your support in this difficult time. And always remember their role was not by their choosing, but mine. If you find fault with their task lay it at my feet, not theirs. May God bless you and America."
16 posted on 10/21/2006 2:10:33 PM PDT by backtothestreets
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To: Positive
Invading Iraq was a mistake. Cutting and running would also be one.

Bombers could have done everything we needed in Iraq, but they can't stop Iran from overrunning the country if we leave now.
17 posted on 10/21/2006 2:10:37 PM PDT by TeenagedConservative
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To: Positive

Go Pat go!


18 posted on 10/21/2006 2:10:42 PM PDT by johnny7 (“And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda... what's Fonzie like?!”)
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To: TeenagedConservative

Sorry I don't agree "Iraq was a mistake".

The only problem I see .. we didn't level the place like we should have. We're fighting a PC war and that never works.

But .. I expect a new hardline to emerge .. a harder line than the dems would take .. and it will result in a complete crackdown on the terrorists.


19 posted on 10/21/2006 3:15:51 PM PDT by CyberAnt (Drive-By Media: Fake news, fake documents, fake polls)
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To: MNJohnnie
Thank God no American President would be this stupid.

I guess you haven't heard, God doesn't exist.

Too bad we don't have an American President that would have balls of steel.

20 posted on 10/21/2006 3:22:07 PM PDT by unixfox (The 13th Amendment Abolished Slavery, The 16th Amendment Reinstated It !)
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