How Scientologists get married (Weird Vows)

Yahoo News and AFB ^ | 17 Nov 06 | None

[SkyPilot]

PARIS (AFP) - The Church of Scientology provides for several kinds of wedding ceremony for its followers, but according to the most traditional the husband "may promise to provide her (his wife) with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat."

US actor Tom Cruise and actress Katie Holmes will provide perhaps the most high-profile Scientologists' wedding to date this weekend.

And according to unconfirmed reports in the Italian media, American Scientology leader David Miscavige will fly in from Los Angeles to preside over the event.

According to the Scientologists' book "The Background, Ministry, Ceremonies and Sermons of the Scientology Religion", there are five versions of the Scientologist wedding ceremony: traditional, informal, single ring, double ring, and concise double ring, all of varying length and formality.

Scientology's "traditional ceremony" includes such advice to the groom as "Now -----, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.

"All caprice if you will, but still they need them."

The bride is told: "Hear well, sweet -----, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too."

[BeAllYouCanBe]

"My girl friend who was a friendly extravert responded and then asked if that- Scientology- was a college course?"

What was extra?

No doubt the Scientolgists were interested in the extra parts.

[BeAllYouCanBe]

"The kid looks fine, she just doesn't look like she's theirs."

Whenever I read anything about Tom it is always mentioned that he likes boys.

Where does this come from?

Also, any man who would leave Nicole Kidman must be really weird.

[SkyPilot]

Looks like that cat is a little busy at the moment...

LOL!

[Gorzaloon]

These people are certifiable.

A model of polite understatement.

I always considered them Exalted Major Grand Master Roaring Assholes, with Oak Leaf Cluster.

[lawdude]

I can't believe ANYONE gives a royal red rat's arse!
These people are trash first order.

[SkyPilot]

People that believe in nothing will believe anything...

You must have some bad engrams in your Operating Thetan state. We better hook you up to the E-Meter.

[cmsgop]

Hey,whats he doing with that E-Meter !!!!!!!

[NRA2BFree]

And seek

With him best fortune

For us all?

I'm sure they do want and get a lot of their fortune. LOL!

[SkyPilot]

I saw the Scientology storefront in Hollywood back in the 1980's. Some guy in a suit was standing out in front giving away free copies of L. Ron Hubbard's crap.

My friend asked me what Scientology was, and in a loud voice I said:

"A Cult."

The guy got pissed at me and was trying to answer my friend and was ignoring me (just like you said with your experience).

I said: "Even Time magazine has documented what a scam you are running."

That comment blew his gasket, and he said the "Church" was suing Time magazine for slander.

[TChad]

How can there be a "traditional" scientology wedding ceremony if the fake religion was only made up a few decades ago?

Fake religions should be at least 100 years old before their ceremonies are described as "traditional."

[SkyPilot]

Hey,whats he doing with that E-Meter !!!!!!!

"That's not my bag baby!"

[SkyPilot]

the US govt made a mistake in assigning them tax free status.

The Clinton Administration did that. Big surprise, huh?

[Shooter 2.5]

I heard it this way:

Do you?
Yep.
Do you?
Yep.
You are.

[pray4liberty]

I can't stand Tom "Has Been" Cruise.

You're not alone.

[SkyPilot]

" A comb and brush and a bowl full of mush"

SPAM egg sausage and SPAM.

[armymarinemom]

This reminds me that I have to take my need to the Vet Monday.

[SkyPilot]

Eeech!

I remember that now.

Tom Cruise assures he will eat Holmes' nutritious placenta

[SkyPilot]

"I....am a Gay-American."

[BurbankKarl]

It all started when...

Mimi Rogers said he left her unsatisfied and he didnt seem into it...

[Past Your Eyes]

I think the sun was in her eyes.