Iowahawk: Kofi Talk

iowahawk | 12/12/06 | David Burge

[IowaHawk]

[ed. note - found in a remodeling dumpster at 48th and FDR Drive: first draft of Kofi Annan's valediction]

Nearly 50 years ago, when I arrived in Minnesota as a student fresh from Africa, I had much to learn. For example, the concept of “connecting flights,” because I was actually supposed to be going to California. My cab had already plowed through several miles of Minneapolis snowdrifts before I realized my horrible mistake, but I decided to make the best of it. Over the next few years I adapted to the quaint arctic customs of the indigenous Minnesotans -- wearing their colorful earmuffs, training my gag reflex to against their cruel lutefisk. Still, lesson learned: I vowed, with God as my witness, that I would never fly coach again.  All my life since has been a learning experience. Now I want to pass on five other lessons I have learned during 10 years as secretary general of the United Nations, as well as CEO of KofiCo Oil Vouchers Ltd.

First, in today's world we are all responsible for each other's security. Against such threats as nuclear proliferation, climate change, global pandemics or terrorist accountants plotting UN audits from their safe havens in failed superpowers, no nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over others, and their private financial records. Only by working together can we hope to achieve lasting security for ourselves, and perhaps a nice comfortable villa in Switzerland. Let’s just say that “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”

But when we look at the murder, rape and starvation still being inflicted on the people of Darfur, we realize that our teams of fun-loving security back-scratchers can sometimes be a PR headache. That’s why we must also summon the political, economic and marketing muscle to keep ahead of the news cycle. Boys will be boys, and in the grand scheme of things, do a few rambunctious UN troops really matter when all the planet’s children are under the looming threat of climate change? I mean, what's with that? Do you people hate the planet’s children or something?

.... for the rest of the Kofi klatch, Click Here

[EveningStar]

ping

[gonzo]

Good to see ya back, Hawk, and good to read you again! When did you get out?

Take care, pal, and keep doin' it!.................FRegards

[Tuba Guy]

(laughing out loud ....)

Great !!

[Timocrat]

In order to maintain global obeah and appease Ungasha, cheetah-god of financial development, investors should respect local cultural mores as well as tribal debt repayment customs.

Loved this.

[Billthedrill]

It is important for Foreign investors and international development organizations to realize that many global communities have strong cultural taboos against financial reporting laws, for they are considered to be cursed with bad mojo. In order to maintain global obeah and appease Ungasha, cheetah-god of financial development, investors should respect local cultural mores as well as tribal debt repayment customs.

Dang it, Hawk, coffee on my monitor and I can't tell anyone around here why... BTT.

[dighton]

I don’t see anything in the news about a nuclear holocaust or asteroid strike: which is to say, where’d everyone go?

[aculeus]

One of your best!