Posted on 02/04/2007 11:13:03 AM PST by UnklGene
Scientists Cure Gay Sheep - PETA and Gays Outraged
PORTLAND, Oregon — Scientists at Oregon Health and Science University have discovered a cure for gayness in sheep.
Over the last five years, researchers at the university had concluded that 8 percent of rams were gay, and they looked for the reasons why. They studied behavioral factors such as overly-domineering mother sheep, and psychological factors such as older gay rams leading young rams astray, but they finally concluded that the cause was genetic. After isolating the gay sheep gene, they were able to extract the gene from sheep DNA, thereby ensuring that rams born in the future will not be gay.
“They will be much better breeders,” said Dr. Charles Roselli of the university.
Instead of being heralded as having created a major scientific and agricultural breakthrough, the Oregon scientists have been vilified by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and gay rights advocates who have vigorously protested the university’s work. The scientists have even received death threats.
Shalin Gala, a PETA representative working on its sheep campaign, who is openly gay, said it was perfectly clear that scientists were working on sheep as prelude to working on humans.
“The next thing you know, they will have a ‘cure’ for gaiety in humans,” said Mr. Gala, “and that means that gays will die out and not be replaced! There will be no more male airline flight attendants and decorators, and no more boys for Man-Boy Love Association members!”
Asked whether PETA had any concern for the animals themselves, Mr. Gala said, “Of course we do. We feel for the 8 percent. Those rams may be too dumb to realize that future generations of rams may not be like them, but we care about that on their behalf. Being gay is not some abnormality that needs to be cured. It is normal. It is the breeders that are disgusting!”
A talking sheep from the movie set of Babe III disagreed with Mr. Gala. “I don’t think Mr. Gala has the interests of sheep at heart,” it said. “I feel he is only concerned with humans and is deeply threatened by the notion that in the future there will not be any gay humans born. What he is overlooking is that while 8 percent of rams might share his concerns about future replicativity, the other 92 percent of us would welcome the elimination of gay shepherds.”
Julio Cesar
We're always told that "nobody would actually choose to be gay." Then why wouldn't you take the promise of a 'cure' to be anything but good news? Answer: Because for many--especially the identity politics fetishists--being gay is quite hip. If gay is the new black, it's much too early to put it out of style.
I think the Gays are afraid of being attracted to women. It ruins their theory that they can't help it and it's a condition that they can't cure and were born with.
Are they afraid the scientists will cure them? Oh I hope so.
Funny! I thought that article was real at first.
I think men become gays as a result of being improperly reared.
It's always painful in the end.
PETA members and queers? I was unaware those were two separate groups of people.
Gee, isn't that just too baaaaaaaaaaaaaddd........
Favorite Species Ping!
Don't ask, don't baa.
so we are now considering 'gay' a birth defect?
like one of the contestants stated on the show trading spouses?
In San Francisco, they're not born that way.....they just get sucked into it.
-Traveler
I'm pretty sure this is a joke. The quotes in the article look totally fake.
There is no cure for Barney Frank but he would still like to have that sheeps phone number anyway . . .
ROFL!!!!!!
Yeah, including the one by the talking sheep.
Well, I figured the freeper added those. Could be wrong though.
Barney Frank say: This is baaaaaaaaaaaad news.
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