Posted on 02/21/2007 11:57:25 AM PST by raccoonradio
Howie Carr live thread. Column to follow.
Howie Carr live thread
Online exclusive column!
Together We Con
by Howie Carr
Drapes? Now Gov. Deval Patrick gets caught spending $10,000 in taxpayer money on new drapes for the Corner Office?
Drapes? Do you realize this is the first drapes scandal in Massachusetts politics since 1975? I kid you not. That was the year Suffolk County Sheriff Tom Eisenstadt (remember him?) got caught by the Boston Finance Commission squandering $2,000 on jailhouse drapes bought at Jordan Marsh. (Remember them?)
The only conclusion to draw from Coupe Devals latest back-to-the-future misadventure is that hes planning on reliving every political disaster of the past, no matter how obscure.
But whats the rush, Deval? Youve got four years to screw everything up. Youre like a new homeowner. You just bought the house, so why are you suddenly obsessed with stepping in every single pile the previous owners pets left behind on the front lawn?
Devals in a hurry though. Hes making a list of past screw-ups, apparently, and hes checking it twice. Forget naughty-and-nice, though, he just wants to be naughty.
The State Police helicopter - paging Jane Swift. The broken campaign promise on tax relief - paging Mike Dukakis. Bribing the legislature with payraises - paging Bill Weld.
Hey, governor, have you ever thought about taking up gambling on the ponies? How about a dip in the Charles - in a business suit? Do they need a commencement speaker at Brandeis? How about an amber-colored beverage, or 10? Any gay stepsons out there we dont know about? Send out for lobster for the State Police, and charge it - no one will ever think to go through those expense accounts.
Who knew, though, that Deval wouldnt settle for just following in his gubernatorial predecessors missteps? Hes apparently determined to make every mistake ever made by every shoddy, sticky-fingered hack who ever came down the Pike, speaking of which, do you remember Gov. Furcolos fathers ancient land speculations along the proposed route of I-90? Ill bet Deval does.
Hey, whatever else you say about Deval after this rather unfortunate first six weeks, hes obviously a student of history, or at least of historical footnotes. How else could he ever come up with the drapes grift? The only problem is those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And now, at least for a day, Deval is Tommy Eisenstadt.
Whats next? If hes looking for State House political embarrassments, high-test and regular, his choices are almost endless.
Governor Patrick, Id like you to meet some of the boyos from Local 25 over in Charlestown. Ignore those pinky rings, these are guys who can straighten a thing out. Theyd be perfect for the Massport board, plus they can get you bit parts in crappy movies.
Ever thought about grabbing a low-digit license plate? Those are always a popular item in the hackerama. Just ask your pal Billy Bulger. The Corrupt Midget scored one, but then it turned out the relative of the previous owner wanted it back, so they gave him an even lower three-digit beauty.
With all the pictures of the Cadillac under the Dome, Im thinking a good parking-space spat might be in the works. Itd be a good way to get some more headlines for Diane, just like Kitty Dukakis got when she dueled over the one John Kerry left behind after he won the Senate seat. Kitty squared off with a 460-pound House committee chairman who would soon be convicted of child pornography.
You obviously like sheriffs, Deval. Follow in the little teeny footsteps of another one of your dear friends, Mike Dukakis. He appointed two sheriffs who ended up in the federal pen.
So many potential scandals, and only a little over three years and 11 months left in Devals term. Leave a satchel of cash under a barstool. Dont pay your income taxes. Lie under oath in open court about something really stupid. Put a lot of pols in as presidents of state colleges, where they can start stealing everything that isnt nailed down.
What an amazing beginning. And just think, he hasnt appointed a single judge yet, nor commuted the sentence of a single rapist.
Keep stepping in it, Deval. Together we con.
Letter to the editor in today's Globe
RE BRIAN McGrory's Feb. 20 City & Region column, "A false start for Deval":
I voted for Deval Patrick and now I feel hopelessly used. I figured that through his talk of hope and trying to bring back those left out, we, the people of Massachusetts, would get a solid, honest effort from Mr. Patrick. Instead, I see the paradigm of entitlement. It now seems he never really stood for anything but himself, not unlike our previous governor.
I never thought I would see the day when I turn my back on the democratic process. Mr. Patrick can be thanked for being the final straw that did it.
SEAN SULLIVAN
Swansea
Howie's regular column from today's print edition
trust that Deval and Diane Patrick have already sent a little something to Bridget Moynahan - some booties perhaps, a layette set, or maybe a silver spoon.
It seems the least they could do for the fetus that bailed out a governor.
I mean, if anyone ever caught a break from a breaking news story, it was Gov. Deval Patrick. Talk about a guy who was back on his heels over the weekend. The helicopter, the Cadillac, the $72,000 social secretary for his wife - Deval had gone from Teflon candidate to Velcro governor.
From Together We Can to Together We Con.
But then the Brady-Bridget bambino wiped every other local news story off the map.
Think back to how bad Deval was looking over the weekend. If he were being compared to anybody, it wasnt Barack Obama - it was Tom Reilly. On Monday, a Globe columnist went so far as to refer to Devals brand-new Cadillac DTS as a pimpmobile. Granted, it was a black writer, and he was using the p-word to take a shot at this newspaper.
But then the Brady baby story broke. How big is it? So huge it knocked a story about gay marriage off the front page of the Globe, and when was the last time that happened?
But some news just sucks all the air out of everything else in the media. Just a couple of slow-news weeks ago, it was Lisa Nowak, NASAs diaper doll. Remember the jokes? Lust in Space. Desperate Spacewives.
Lisa Nowaks 15 minutes of fame lasted 72 hours, until that 911 call from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Seminole, Fla. Unresponsive female.
Hello Anna Nicole, goodbye Lisa Nowak.
Same thing locally with the Tom Brady scandal erasing Deval Patrick. Think of how much bigger Tom Brady is in the scheme of things around here than the new governor. Deval leases a Cadillac, Brady has been GMs pitchman for the car. Deval talks a great game, Brady plays one. Bradys photograph with the pope hangs in Catholic schools. Devals hangs in Ben LaGuers cell.
Granted, one important element thats given the Brady story such legs is all that videotape of the three Bs - Brady, Bridget and Bundchen.
With Deval, theres only the Cadillac, parked under the Golden Dome, file footage of the state police chopper and a freeze frame of Amy Gorin (the newly hired $72,000 hack) lifted from Devals campaign Web site.
Thin video gruel, compared to the Three Bs parading through, respectively, Super Bowls, Milan catwalks and lesbian liplocks in Hollywood.
But this isnt the only unfolding sex scandal involving the New England Patriots. Bill Belichick is embroiled in a messy divorce with that former secretary for the New York Giants. But again, theres a video problem - no videotape of The Other Woman. Plus, the local sporting press is terrified of Belichick. Theyd rather kiss butt than kick it.
The Belichick story also lacks the there-but-for-the-grace-of-God element. Who has enough money to tell his (alleged) girlfriend to check out a house, and then hell buy it for her?
On the other hand, everyone knows a guy who broke up with a woman with a tick-tick-ticking biological clock, then discovered that she was, ahem, with child. There used to be a phrase, shotgun marriage. Its been replaced by a new phrase, DNA test.
But what does Deval care? Hes escaped. That column about his pimpmobile is being wrapped around fish this morning.
Still, if youre a pompous, tone-deaf fraud of a politician, chances are youll soon find yourself in another jam. And you cant always count on a love child, or even a World Series victory by the Red Sox [team stats], to bail you out.
Just ask John Kerry.
Gov. Patrick says hell chip in $543 per month for his Cadillac
So how was your workload yesterday?
Pretty heavy; at 2:30 am mere seconds before I was to punch out after 10 hours they made me stay mandatory for one
more (double time). I was tired but I'll take the money.
I'm going to try and head up to Mount Sunapee to get my book signed this weekend (I live pretty close to it).
new site
http://coupedeval.com/
today's poll
HILLARY VS. BARACK
If you had no other choices, which of the following two would get your vote for President?
Hillary 31%
Barack 69%
Couldn't he have found somewhere else to stash his hack hire? Diane Patrick is a partner in Ropes & Gray, which may be the biggest law firm in the city (it was a few years ago, but the competition is determined and the situation is fluid!). I'm sure she already has a secretary, who will have to coordinate with the hack (and who probably doesn't make as much).
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:gh5gtq8znu4o
When you vote Democrat, you get Uncle Joe Stalin, or some other dictator type turning whatever into a personal fiefdom.
>>Hey,John Edwards has been warning us for a while that there are two Americas.
Guess which one The Breck Girl lives in. Lifestyles of
the Rich & Famous, that's which one.
yup, lots of parcels, and last weeks, lots of valentines
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