Amish Girls Gone Wild

Cleveland Scene ^ | March 14, 2007 | Denise Grollmus

[Dan Evans]

Behind the bonnet is a girl who just wants to have fun -- and another beer, please.

It's Friday night at Twister's. Tina launches the evening with a tallboy of Sparks. Customers eyeball her white bonnet and shin-grazing dress as she sips from her can of malt liquor and caffeine. She's used to the gawking. Impolite scrutiny comes with being Amish.

"Everyone stares at you," she says. "It's not very fun, but I just ignore it."

Besides, Tina's on a mission to get tanked. No amount of rubbernecking can stop her.

The DJ approaches. Rodger Locher, a clean-cut city boy, is what's known as a "Yank," the all-encompassing term for not being Amish. Since he became Twister's resident DJ, Tina's become a regular, obsessed with listening to Beyoncé, the Killers, and Korn over rounds of neon cocktails.

[From The Deer Stand]

Q. Why did the Amish girl break up with the Norwegian boy?

A. He drove her buggy.

[From The Deer Stand]

Q. Why did the Amish girl break up with the Norwegian boy?

A. He drove her buggy.

[SteveMcKing]

Bless them all, and may Hell freeze should foolish youth ever change in anyone's culture.

[From The Deer Stand]

Sorry about the double post. I was interrupted during the process. It's been a long day....

[Tanniker Smith]

The wildest party guy I ever met in college was a Shenandoah Valley Mennonite who turned his back on his faith and was shunned by his family/community.

I'm assuming that he first made a choice to be a Mennonite and later changed his mind? Or do the Mennonites shun all family members who don't follow their traditions?

[SteveMcKing]

Come to think of it, there was a story couple years ago about this Amish "kid" -- he was like 26, and he was throwing tomatoes (or something) at passing cars. It was pathetic...

They "grow up" really late, apparently.

[Farmer Dean]

If he had passed out while the buggy was moving the horse would have most likely taken him home.Most horses are trained to never move forward when stopped,until cued to do so-for obvious safety reasons.

[Titan Magroyne]

As long as the horse is sober, what's the problem?

It's the heel-to-toe-straight-line sobriety test walk. The horse always loses his balance and falls over on that one. Merits a DUI every time.

Makes for lots of long faces in front of the judge's bench.

[Abby4116]

From what I know, they grow up at exactly the same speed as "English" kids. Perhaps the tomato thrower was what would be referred to as "slow", "retarded" etc. Most Amish boys would be married with several kids by that age.

We have no problems whatsoever with our Amish neighbors. After the school house shooting, I think that the Amish showed exactly what they are made of - and I applaud them for that.

[Ulysses]

Amish porn... Shocking!

[keats5]

LOL!

[Emmett McCarthy]

Yeah, I know. Hell, my dog can hardly do it. Of course, I'm not sure he's ever tried it sober.

[B-Chan]

I believe Sir Mix-A-Lot put it best: Magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri ("Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter").

[incredulous joe]

I would recommend seeing the film to decide for yourself. I think the people in the movie were authentic, but I don't necessarily believe this is representative of ALL of Ahmish culture.

"Rumspringa makes perfect sense. "

I have to disagree.

I actually used to really admire not just the Ahmish, but also some of the offshoots of these religions or world-views (whatever you want to call it). The parents in this film knew that their 16 and 17 year old boys were involved in pornography and narcotics and they walked away from it as though it was their own rite of passage - as though it were providence - and they, as parent's, could do nothing to combat it. I think that's cowardly and morally wrong.

When I was 16 I did some damn stupid stuff, and I needed to hear about it from my parents. I was lucky that my folks cared enough to cuff me and put me in my place.

My family is predominantly Roman Catholic, but we did have a branch that shot off 2 generations ago and became involved with the Society of Friends. As I was growing up I really admired their "quiet way", the calmness and the communal sense in which they lived. They were also pacifists - true pacifists, not this secular humanist nobler than thou kind of pacifist that we have on the left today.

Today, after 9-11, I no longer admire pacifism in any way, even as a part of a person's genuinely deep moral philosophy. This extends to protecting one's family, whether they be threatened by from the outside or not wishing to talk to your teenage son for driving the buggy while being 3 sheets to the wind.

"If they are exposed to the outside world but manage to resist the temptations, they will be better off"

Teenagers need to be protected from their own stupidity. They take chances anyway and that is natural and normal, but they need guidance. Even if it takes 5 or 10 years for it to sink in.

[AmishDude]

Was it The Electric Amish?

[RunningWolf]

Yes I think that was it! LOL

[Drago]

Was it these guys?
http://www.amishoutlaws.com/about.html

[festus]

Somewhere a man with a badge is tyradin about how its a vehicle the same as they do about bicycles.

I've been stopped by cops on my bicycle and in my father in law's pontoon boat. If it moves I've been pulled over on it.

[farlander]

LOL. I'd say that's impressive, but, having spent more than a few years in southern Illinois myself, I have to agree with your opinion of the police opinion.

[Dan Evans]

They take chances anyway and that is natural and normal, but they need guidance.

But they do get guidance. Until they reach the age of 16 they are very isolated, protected and spend most of their time with adults learning a work ethic instead of being raised by other children like many American kids. In our society, there are preteen gang bangers who can barely read and write killing each other in our cities.

But Amish kids are raised right. With their eight years of education, I'll bet most of them can pass the GED easily.

Some of them go bad and when they do it becomes a "man bites dog story" in the news or documentaries because it is so out of character for them.

But at some point when you are raising kids you have to cut the apron strings. With the Amish it is at age 16. Some of them fail but failure is the price of freedom.

I'm from a Catholic family too and I think the practice of "cuffing" kids has limited value. The best way to keep kids from going bad is simply by keeping them away from other bad people until they reach the age of reason. The Amish do that much better than anyone else.

If you were to do a similar documentary on Catholics instead of the Amish it wouldn't be about drunkenness or occasional drug peddling, it would be about the Mafia.