Skip to comments.What Would FReepers Do? A Question to the Forum.
Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction ..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd and my last) and I invited my cousin and his significant other to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his significant other. My Cousin and I dont see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. Hes pretty much conservative-ish .sort of (not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) .except that hes gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue . And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman but we both also think civil unions may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
It's your cousins life. Just go, and wish him well. Life is to short.
I would not.
If you don't, you'll regret it later.
Well, if you would feel uncomfortable attending - then do not attend. Invent some good pretext, express sincere regrets, and try to compensate for it by spending the money you would otherwise have spent on the travel there, towards "wedding" gift enhancement.
I would write a nice note suggesting psychiatric counseling.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
I would not go but look alternative ways of letting him know he is still family but you can't support what he is doing. Keep doors open for when he sees the light. Not sure how.
I agree with you that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman.
No, I would not attend. I would send a present, though, and otherwise treat the folks nicely, unless provoked.
I would not go to the actual ceremony, but I would be willing to attend the reception to wish him well.
I would go. Since you have already made your views clear, there is no reason to "make a statement" by not going.
Perhaps as a compromise, if you could not stand to be at the wedding, you could miss the wedding and attend the reception. That should let him know that you "hate the sin, not the sinner."
"I invited my cousin and his significant other to our wedding."
Sounds like you should go.
The easy thing to do is go. The hard thing to do is to explain, with love, that to be present would be to put your stamp of approval on something you don't believe is appropriate.
Wish them well and stay in touch.
When it's family you're talking about, put politics to the side. It's not as if your attendance is going to sway the issue, one way or the other. If your objection is religious, then it's a different matter; don't go. Maybe you can split the difference and go to the reception only, to minimize any sort of family rift.
Your attendance at the "wedding" will show support and approval of the "marriage". I wouldn't do it, family or otherwise.
If you are close to your cousin, yes. While I am not in favor of Gay marriage, my personal relationships trump the issue.
Personally i think we have more important things to worry about.
I would not go because I would be uncomfortable, but would send a nice gift (= expensive, from Tiff's or somewhere they would like)to show affection. Your cousin is not going to change his sexual orientation because you made it clear to him that you disapprove, so sending little messages is pointless and nonproductive.
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