eHarmony for Kids goes nationwide

Lark News ^ | April 2007

[Alex Murphy]

    PASADENA — Four years ago, match site eHarmony quietly launched a new initiative, eHarmony4Kids, to help parents find mates for their children. The new program, whose tagline is "Play Dates, Life Mates. eHarmony for Kids," has worked so well that the company is rolling it out nationally this year.
    "People want to steer their kids toward compatible potential life partners at an early age," says an eHarmony spokesman. "Core beliefs are in place at a young age so we can help them do that."
    Parents in Nashville, Seattle, Sacramento and Boston were secretly invited to participate in the field testing. They had their kids, ages 5 to 17, take the online personality test. Then eHarmony matched them up with other kids they deemed compatible.
    The parents did not tell the kids what was happening but encouraged email friendships, play dates and online chatting.
    "We told her it was like having a pen pal," says one mother whose daughter was 8 when she joined the test program.
    eHarmony also encouraged parents to form "affinity clusters" of half a dozen or more kids, any two of which were likely to pair up and marry, according to eHarmony's test results.
    "Working in clusters allows your child to have some modicum of choice, instead of just ramming them at one other person and hoping for the best," says the spokesman.
    One set of parents colluded to have the kids in their affinity cluster attend the same college. One of them, Kate Dockery, 19, enrolled at Azusa Pacific University where she and several classmates later found out they'd been "eHarmony-ed" by their parents.
    "I felt ripped off," Dockery says. "They'd been parading suitors before me for four years."
    She does admit that the people in her cluster "are all very good friends. It's kind of eerie how well we get along," but she says she would have rather found that out on her own than through eHarmony.
    "I don't mind the whole semi-arranged marriage thing, as long as I'm an active participant," she says.
    eHarmony does not expect the program to be controversial.
    "We're just refining what parents do already," says the spokesman. •

[This Just In]

I can imagine your relief. I’m sure, FReepers initial reaction when reading the headline was on of shock and disgust, as was my reaction until I read the source.

We used to subscribe to LarkNews, until I found some of the satire to be a little too obsurd.

Frankly, LarkNews — in and of itself — is a reflection of the liberal media today. I find LarkNews to be more interesting and informative then the pop media outlits.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Aaaaah...Lark News.

(Thanks. Usually I’m more preceptive than that. I swear.)

[RosieCotton]

Yah know...it says something about how creepy we find Dr. Warren that so many of us immediately believed this article...

[Red Badger]

I’d never heard of it before today........Will have to make mental note to put it in with Scrappleface and The Onion..........

[longtermmemmory]

the site seems like a dumping ground for old schrews.

[monkapotamus]

[daviddennis]

That one got me!

Very nice work on the part of Lark News.

In this context, my review of eHarmony might be of interest to many of you:

http://www0.epinions.com/content_192455347844

D

[isthisnickcool]

That's funny!!!!

I can't imagine going to some web site to get matched up with someone. If you want love and affection, get a dog. If you need sex, a hooker costs less than eHarmony does.

[RockinRight]

This is just weird. The guy that runs that site seems to be a pretty conservative, Christian guy. Very odd concept.

Granted, play dates are a good thing for kids, but the “life partners” part for a 6 year old is disturbing, where are we, Pakistan?

[RockinRight]

WHOOPS! It’s Lark!!!

Leaving quickly now...

[RockinRight]

I met my fiance, right here on FR.

[wideminded]

We just moved out to a more rural area and are having trouble finding kids for our son (who just turned 3) to play with. Sometimes we drive into town so he can play with his old friends or invite them to our house. It sounds like this eHarmony thing is not intended for our problem though.

There actually are kids living in our area, but they seem to stay indoors. We also have some Russian neighbors who have some sort of weird religious or ethnic reason for not wanting their son (who only speaks Russian) to come out and play. He stares out the window when our son is playing outside.

[ridesthemiles]

Somebody explain to me what kind of “personality” a 5 y/o exhibits, and how much of those benchmarks are present when this person is 25 y/o...

Please use reeeeeeally small words, as I am just a dummy who went to a one-room school.

This is beyond sick. Is there nothing that some folks won’t do for money?????

[ryan71]

You truly cannot tell whether something is real or satire these days.

[raj bhatia]

I never use caps but this is for everybody’s benefit.

READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR
READ THE REPLIES TO THE THREAD. HINT: HUMOUR

[arizonarachel]

Is it bad that me, a first time mom, thought that this wasn’t a bad idea? I’m just protective of my boy!! (yes, I get it’s a joke!)

[Clioman]

“It would be great in Muslim contries, no?”

We should get a reading from the Imam on this. But wait a minute. Are young, unmarried females even be allowed to keyboard with members of the opposite sex? Or would it be OK if a male relative were in the same room at the time? This Sharia stuff is really hard sometimes...

[TalonDJ]

I met my fiance, right here on FR.

I met my wife here on FR.

[SerpentDove]

>> But am I the only one that wants to reach through the television and throttle that man ‘til his eyes bug out?<<

I’m glad to find out I’M not the only one.

The man makes my flesh crawl.

[Mr. Jeeves]

Anybody who responds seriously to this thread, especially with angry references to pedophilia, ought to have their posting privileges suspended for a month. ;)