Posted on 06/03/2007 2:37:29 PM PDT by IsraelBeach
Agreed.
Bonding is so critical.
AND
There is nothing like a dad . . . especially a good one.
Yep. This Neanderthal just finished his third visit to “Family Court” (now there’s a contradiction if I ever heard one!) in order to convince the maternal parental unit to follow the Parenting Plan.
For nine years my child has asked when she will be old enough to ask the court to let her live with me. Hopefully it’ll happen this year.
I think we are talking the normal presumption of status under law. That is, without exceptional circumstance, the presumption would be of 50-50. Exceptional circumstance such as yours appears to be, would — should — still be argued and decided individually.
My dad was an absent-minded professor but very loving and kind, my mother was a drill sergeant, I think I needed both of them. We always laughed because whenever we did anything wrong in his presence he started calling Mom's name and told on us.
I don’t think it is all evil mommies but it isn’t all evil daddies either. The difference is that in the past they have leaned toward the mother, automatically assuming that she is the better parent, biologically.
Don't be so angry. Girls are bad too. Did you know that in America, between 10 and 15% of children born to married couples are NOT the child of the husband? Do you have a handy abstraction for that one? Toilet seats, perhaps?
The fact is, we live in a pagan society that honors promiscuity. We also live in a society where there are a lot of good men and good women trying to live Godly lives despite that. Some succeed and some fail. The ones that fail probably still deserve a chance to know their children--I'd leave punishment for that up to the good Lord. In any event, its completely unfair how the punishment for failure gets meted out. Women that fail get custody and men that fail get to wonder what their kids look like.
Getting angry about the fallen state of man doesn't change a thing, except that you are angry.
But I also support the non-revolutionary idea that men and women -- as groups -- really are different, biologically, psychologically, and socially. And I personally believe -- based on extended family experience -- that women are generally better attuned to the needs of children, especially small children.
My point is that no-fault divorce is ruining families.
I believe that the process is slanted toward the mother and they know it. They can easily initiate a divorce and get all the goodies (kids plus child support), so they do it.
If the law were to say that both parties were equal and would get equal time with the children, child support toward the mother would be less. That would be less of an incentive for the mother to try to force the father out.
If it does go to a divorce and the father wants to stipulate that the mother gets primary custody, then so be it.
Well, I think men are better attuned to being:
Police Officers
Firefighters
Airline Pilots
Surgeons
Clergy
Newscasters
Mechanics
President
Happy now?
Child, I am not angry, I am reflecting the sad state of American society and jurisprudence, having done my graduate work in family law. Your claim that up to 15% of children born to married couples are not the spawn of the husbands is wildly off the mark. Please cite your reference for that very dubious statistic.
All the divorce lawyers agree with you. A case should never be settled until both parents finances are fully drained; the children's college expense funds are gone; and the grandparents, aunts and uncles have also been tapped.
This is what it means to have each case 'never treated the same'.
It is time for standards and expectations to be put into place. For the same reason that child support guidelines had to be implemented.
Because judges were out there doing doing 'wild and crazy things' with peoples finances. They are still doing them with peoples lives.
But that is what happens when you give one person absolute power and absolutely no guidance on what they should do.
The actual claim was 30%. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the reference at this moment.
Given that 50% of all children born in Louisiana were born out of wedlock, I think the issue is moot.
Except of course for those poor saps who have to pay child support for the lovers child. See the evil Judge Wendell Miller - removed from the bench for siring a child with his mistress and making the husband pay child support for his child.
Dads will only be equal when they are awarded primary custody of the children as often as the mom is. Dads in divorce are the most-discriminated-against people in the U.S. They typically have no rights nor say in what happens to their own children.
In general, I don’t wholesale disagree with your generalizations.
But I’ve known plenty of exceptions to the women being better with small children one. And, I’m convinced that by the age of 10, children need a good father to be very involved with them—particularly boys.
But also the first 6 years of life—bonding with a healthy loving father is incredibly vital and powerful. Mothers just cannot do the BEST fathering—because they are MOTHERS.
Certainly men and women are wonderfuly different.
I have said it before and will say it again:
In the case of a divorce, children should be split between the parents. No child support from either parent. Therefore, there would be no more dead-beat dads or moms.
Not true.
A lot of the divorce fighting is driven by the current legal system.
What do you think happens when the lawyer tells the mom that joint custody will be ordered unless the parties don't get along - and if they don't get along, then custody will be given to one of the parents - and that parent is 95% of the time the mom.
Did a light bulb just go off in your head? That's right, the mom triggers a lot of fights so that the judge has to shake his head and order custody to ... the mom.
It works when it is ordered and the judges crack down on the morons that violate the orders.
It is not appropriate for all situations. If a parent does not want to be involved, no judge on earth will be able to make him/her be involved.
Certainly shouldn't be ordered for drug addicts, etc.
Absolutely. Except in my case it is.
But i know it’s not always. And I’m all for these groups that want a greater interaction between fathers and children. I loathe hearing about moms moving away with their new honeys and denying dads their rights, and, oh yeah, the “he’s such a loser dog that i won’t let him see the baby” routine (that would be the guy they couldn’t wait to lay with and just HAAAAD to make a baby with the year before.
But as for me, yeah, dad is crazy and obsessed. And i’m sleeping good tonight because he’s in the hospital.
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