Posted on 06/03/2007 2:37:29 PM PDT by IsraelBeach
It is entirely possible that many of the mothers were not narcissistic, but rather had been abused, neglected or morally affronted by their husbands and wished to preserve a family atmosphere for the children without having to "normalize" socialist relations between the father and and share the children with their father's mistress who participated in breaking up the marriage. But such conservative thinking falls outside the scope of Marxist abstractions.
Ping
The ‘best parent’ is both parents. The ‘best interests of the child’ are served by not allowing frivolous divorce, and by requiring ‘shared physical custody’ in cases of unavoidable divorce where neither parent is unfit.
There's at a least a one in fifty chance.
My Dad was very masculine, yet was caring and gentle with all his kids.
I cannot speak for men, but I have read about men who claim that when they first laid eyes upon their first child, a surge of emotion flooded them such as they had never known before. This was true regardless of the gender of the child. Usually they described it as a feeling of such love, tenderless and a feeling of responsibility to defend the child. So, it is highly likely that this type of bonding has a hormonal aspect to it. The question is which come first? The emotion or the hormones? It must be partly instinct.
The children should be with both parents equally.
If this were the law, I wonder if women would be so quick to initiate divorce proceedings.
Dads can be great parents, but there’s nothing like a mom. Ask any kid, or ask any mom.
So where does “Don’t bother me to help you with the (twin) babies/They’re my children too only when it’s convenient” fit into their theory?
Funny you should mention that. Mine was just taken to the ER by the police. We were supposed to be having a lunch to discuss the divorce and finances and he started threatening suicide. Details, where, how, etc. I called 911 from the restaurant and they got him to go. I have NO doubt he’ll claim all sorts of wild things, probably including that i keep him from the 2 teens still at home (who don’t want anything to do with him anymore)
I know there are many stories, but it’s not all evil mommy keeping the kiddies from the poor maligned daddy.
I’m going to have to move. I know I will.
There's nothing like a mom AND a dad working as a team for their children!
You sound like a divorce court judge. Mom trumps Dad, who gets his two weekends a month and is expected to shut up and accept it.
Your way of thinking is heading (thankfully) for the ashheap of history.
About “Equal Parenting”......it’s NOT always that easy.....I have a book to write about having tried it 25 + years ago with my ex for my son.....I even made sure he did not have to pay child support..... I should not have done it....he was not a very good father....although, thankfully, my son has turned out to be a pretty darned good one.
I disagree. Equal parenting 50/50 custody only works when that is what both parents want, they get along, and it works for the child. Making it law for all is rediculous if the parents don’t want 50/50. My sons father doesn’t want joint physical custody and to make it law that he has to have my son 50% of the time would rip my child to shreds. His dad puts him in day care on his time, is gone most of the time on business trips and left with his SM, and my son wants to just come home. ON my time he is home with his brother and a stay at home mother. If he had to go 50% of the time to his dads it would be worse for my child and he would be torn apart. Joint physical custody is not right for every divorced family.
I think you need to realize each case is different and should never be treated the same.
Whatever they might negotiate as their preferred arrangement, it's important that the equal parental rights of both Father and Mother be explicit in law, and not subject to the whims and biases of public employees in robes.
If a Father agrees temporarily to less than 50/50 child custody, it should be with the clear understanding that his RIGHT to equal custody would be upheld by our legal system if his wishes were otherwise. Otherwise parents and their lawyers negotiate in a context of unfair coercion.
Justice is Conservative.
I still think making 50/50 physical custody law is wrong! Each case needs to be decided on what is best for the child. My sons father didn’t come into his life legally till he 4 years old. You think the standard would have been to take a 4 year old who hardly ever saw his father and make him go stay at his dads 50% of the time? Sorry, I disagree and again I will say each case needs to be handled differently and not ruled the same or the result could be disastrous for the child.
You're right in theory, but in real life, "best interest of the child" really means "best interest of the mother."
Man. so far it sounds like every woman on this thread conceived children with complete Neanderthal jerks. A real shame.
I was/am a great parent and I have two fine young adults as evidence.
Unless either or both parents are demonstrably unfit, 'the best parent is both parents' and that upholds the 'best interests of the child' as well as the rights of both parents. Equal protection of the law is required by our Constitution (14th Amendment?) and objective Justice. As judicial public employees have long erred about this in family law, statutory guidelines upholding Fathers'Rights are the right remedy. Equal parental standing of Fathers and Mothers should be the rebuttable presumption of statutory Family Law, not subject to judicial whim.
Hypothetically, while your husband might not think it best that you have equal or any association with your child (and through the techniques of 'parental alienation syndrome' might persuade your child to say likewise) should that really be allowed to destroy your relationship with your kid? If you'd uphold your own parental rights of association with your child, why derogate the rights of others?
About 20 states now have Shared Parenting Guidelines in law. Yours should be one of them. If a state's Family Law isn't fair and pro-family, it's fundamentally destructive to most everything else in the state.
Justice is Conservative.
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
Great article.
All the best men I’ve known have been great at plenty of macho stuff AND nurturing loved ones.
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