Posted on 6/22/2007, 1:17:46 PM by roaddog727
Military Rules (complete)
Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4." 7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.) 9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot...
Navy SEAL's Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 2. Kill every living thing within view. 3. Adjust speedo. 4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing. 4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order. 2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee. 3. Curse bitterly. 4. Curse bitterly 5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's, It can get you killed. 6. Curse bitterly
US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail. 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 3. See what's on HBO. 4. Ask "what is a gunfight?" 5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation. 6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives. 7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets. 8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally. 9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea. 2. Drink Coffee. 3. Deploy Marines.
Laugh away - there's a lot of truth to each one....
As always, have at it.
[i] “1. Have a cocktail. 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 3. See what’s on HBO. 4. Ask “what is a gunfight?” 5. Request more funding from Congress with a “killer” Power Point presentation. 6. Wine & dine ‘key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives. 7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets. 8. Declare the assets “strategic” and never deploy them operationally. 9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.”[/i]
Apparently you’re unfamiliar with USAF Security Police, we actually follow a combination or Marine and Army Ranger rules ;)
That, and we’re always reminded of one simple rule or armed combat:
“Always remember, your weapon is made by the lowest bidder”
Of course, after reading “Halsey’s Typhoon” one might add to the Navy one “Be prepared to drown in mountainous seas and/or be eaten by giant ravenous sharks...”
Hoo boy.
I was challenged my an AF security cop once on a flightline. Told him he’d have more credibility if he remembered to load a magazine in his rifle and I walked right by.
Not exactly the same, but with a similar mix of truth and humor, my (church) mission team has six rules:
1. Protect the Message at all times.
2. Be flexible.
3. Be ready to serve.
4. NO WHINING
5. Yo mama ain’t here, and I ain’t yo mama
6. Protect the coffee
My ex-Marine officer always said they were told to shoot the camera man first.
someone forgot one of the Army rules...never, ever f___ with a Warrant Officer...
bump
Or, you can always tell a warrant officer, you just can’t tell ‘em much.
ex CW2.
Sorry,
For both you and the PJ’s.
This commentary is geared toward the “pilot” crowd.....
:-)
“My ex-Marine officer always said they were told to shoot the camera man first.”
Amen brother
yep. Never mess with the crusty old Chiefs...
As an Air Force vet, I can live with this.
Marines: Assault the building, capture it, kill everybody inside and set up defenses with suppressive fire and amphibious assault vehicles,
established reconnaissance and communications channels, and prepared for close hand-to-hand combat if the situation arises.
Army: Occupied the building and set up a perimeter.
Navy: Turned off the lights and locked the doors.
Air Force: Took out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Why does everyone always forget my service?
UNITED STATES COAST GUARD RULES
Watch the Air Force lobby congress and pickup their girl friends, because after all, we look good and do exciting jobs. the Air Force just take care of their Airedales.
Watch the Marines get ready to have a gun fight then show them how to shoot because we often have to shoot our weapons many more times then a marine will just doing our everyday jobs.
Watch the Army complain when they can’t do the job after all. a Coastie SA has more responsibility then most mid level soldiers. Fact is our non-rates have more authority then any other branch of the service
Watch the Navy wish they were Coast Guard. Hey, think about it!!
*-—*
Do the job as we will always be the ones who do so much with so little for so long for we really can win a gun fight with a book of matches and one really ticked off Coastie.
Commonly seen barracks poster:
Grunt: “This place sucks.”
Ranger: “This places sucks great!”
Special Ops: “I just wish this place sucked more.”
Army Av’n” “Boy, sure looks like it sucks down there.”
USAF: “What? The cable is out again? This sucks!!”
Coasties git-er-dun.
CLean up those nasty Florida straights migrants, and send ‘em back!
Also, your viper boats are pretty sh##-hot, with the Maw-deuce mounted in the bow and M249B’s mounted aft, starboard and port.
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