Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

One giant leap for frogkind (Dave Barry)
Miami Herald ^ | DAVE BARRY

Posted on 06/24/2007 7:36:42 AM PDT by nuconvert

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last

1 posted on 06/24/2007 7:36:46 AM PDT by nuconvert
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: nuconvert
Granted, the magnetic field would also prevent everybody else from using the seats, but I think the overall effect would be worth it.

Exactly how Liberals (and Russians and Iraqis) think. ;-)

2 posted on 06/24/2007 7:41:20 AM PDT by Gondring (I'll give up my right to die when hell freezes over my dead body!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nuconvert

Thanks for making a beautiful Sunday morning also a humorous one! Hope funny things happen during your day...and have a happy one too!


3 posted on 06/24/2007 7:48:42 AM PDT by YouGoTexasGirl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nuconvert
I agree with Dave Barry. The gravitational pull of the earth has increased in the past 20 or so years.

Being analytical, I believe I have found the source of the problem.

Back to the physics book I went. If you increase the mass of an object you can increase its gravitational pull.

So let’s say that the earth’s mass is now greater thus creating an increasing gravitational pull.

What is the source of the increased mass?

It’s just got to be that everyone is keeping all the National Geographic magazines. Everyone has shelves and shelves of them. Once I even saw a couple hundred in Aunt Edna’s bathtub.

Aunt Edna kept everything, empty spice containers, the tanned pelt of the bobcat she had shot for eating her peacocks out of the barn, lots of old newspapers and all the National Geographic magazines that had come since they were married in 1945.

There was pretty much NO MORE ROOM in her small house. So she sat in the driver’s seat of the car....(the rest of the car was also filled). Because there was no room to sit in the house.

Aunt Edna had grossly contributed to the mass of the earth by not recycling things. Thus making me weigh more.

The last time I got on the Dr.’s scale I was also horrified at the number. So I tried to explain that I needed to deduct 5 pounds for Aunt Edna and another 10 for all the other Aunt Ednas of the world.

The Dr. would not buy it.

4 posted on 06/24/2007 7:53:09 AM PDT by Battle Axe (Repent for the coming of the Lord is nigh!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nuconvert; leda

The waking the kid up thing is funny.


5 posted on 06/24/2007 7:54:44 AM PDT by patton (19yrs ... only 4,981yrs to go ;))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: patton

i want a magnet that will suck the kids right out of bed :)


6 posted on 06/24/2007 8:00:21 AM PDT by leda (19yrs ... only 4,981yrs to go ;))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Boxsford; Irish Rose; kitkat; Ditter; Pan_Yans Wife

pong


7 posted on 06/24/2007 8:05:03 AM PDT by nuconvert ([there are bad people in the pistachio business] (...but his head is so tiny...))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nuconvert

Holy Floating Frogs, Batman !!!


8 posted on 06/24/2007 8:06:22 AM PDT by Jeffrey_D. (The only thing I love more than my FreeperFriends is my God, Family and Country !!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

LOL!


9 posted on 06/24/2007 8:27:44 AM PDT by kitkat (I refuse to let the DUers chase me off FR.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

The best way to deal with old National Geographics is to invite the grandchildren over. They instantly get out the scissors, paste, and old National Geographic magazines, cut out the pictures, and go to work with them. Then you recycle the whole mess about a week later, when they’ve moved on to new efforts.


10 posted on 06/24/2007 10:50:41 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

I want a magnet that will attract the fat on my behind and levitate it off my body.


11 posted on 06/24/2007 2:06:00 PM PDT by walksonwater
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: walksonwater

I have heard that they have those at the fitness center which is across the parking lot from me. I paid them 258.00 but am still as fat as ever.


12 posted on 06/24/2007 2:09:14 PM PDT by Battle Axe (Repent for the coming of the Lord is nigh!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

LOL!! I love your very analytical assessment of the earth’s increase in gravitational pull as a justification for the increased reading on the Doctor’s scale. Seems peculiarly logical to me . . .but then great minds think alike. - I am your ever faithful friend with a dog named Talula! Thought I would try this Free Republic thing out and you were my first post!


13 posted on 06/24/2007 5:15:26 PM PDT by walksonwater
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

when i was in the Navy, we all wondered why our off-season unifoms would shrink, just by hangin in the closet.
we think mothball fumes have a bad physics-type effect on polyester...


14 posted on 06/25/2007 6:32:42 AM PDT by wayne_b24 (tag line in shop. this is a rental ... does it make me look fat?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe
Then can you explain whay I dropped 25 lbs between last September and today?

I can't.

15 posted on 06/25/2007 6:37:41 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Gondring
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990

ROTFL! I can identify with that!
16 posted on 06/25/2007 6:51:38 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (..and the horse you rode in on!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: wayne_b24
Very common phenomena. It happens to me all the time. And if you leave the clothes in the closet for another year, it only gets worse!!!
17 posted on 06/25/2007 7:02:28 AM PDT by Battle Axe (Repent for the coming of the Lord is nigh!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe

Cancer?

Heeeeeeeeeyuck!!!

(ok thats not funny- I thought this was the friday silliness thread)


18 posted on 06/25/2007 7:39:04 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Mr. K
Actually, I do know why I've dropped the weight.
That was actually a tongue in cheek question.

;^)

19 posted on 06/25/2007 7:45:27 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Battle Axe

but what CAUSES it?! oh, the humanity!
can’t we waste meeeeellions of tax $$ on a gubmint study for something actually useful?


20 posted on 06/25/2007 10:59:49 AM PDT by wayne_b24 (tag line in shop. this is a rental ... does it make me look fat?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson