Posted on 08/19/2007 12:32:47 PM PDT by firehat
CELEBRATING MEDIOCRITY
LESS THAN ORDINARY – AND LOVING IT ©
by Norman Liebmann
All that you need is a plaque with his name on the ruins of the collapsed Interstate 35w Bridge in Minnesota and you have the appropriate Wellstone Memorial.
If NASA, America’s barnstorming space agency, added up the cost of its doing somersaults in weightlessness – each cavort in space would cost the equivalent of fourteen centuries of maintaining a single family of illegal aliens on Welfare. NASA doesn’t deal in bargains.
State Department functionaries complain that the Middle East crisis is taking up so much of their time they are compelled to spend their workday making shorter paper chains.
Nobody in Washington knew what it was that Karl Rove did and they still can’t tell what he did now that he has stopped doing it.
Reduced to their essentials, homosexuality is depravity and lesbianism is entertainment. Homosexuals were picturesque until they transferred their affections from ballet to politics.
The Democrat political brain trust has switched the thrust of their campaign strategy from “spin” to “spit”.
Hillary Clinton’s White House records have been sealed until after the ’08 election. They have been buried in a body bag in Fort Marcy Park where nobody will ever think of looking for them. The question before the Judiciary is, do they need a Court Order to open Hillary’s records, or a Court Order to close her mouth? [Note: Self-considered President-Presumptive Hillary plans to name a new aircraft carrier the USS Gloria Steinem and christen it with a magnum of Feminique.]
Socialists lean on each other for support – the same as drunks.
One of the ladies on the Rutgers basketball team is suing Don Imus. After appearing television, she should be suing her beautician. Imus being fired from CBS was tantamount to being ordered to walk the plank on a sinking ship.
Hugo Chavez looks like he was molded out of clay by a retarded child.
Whatever became of Condoleeza Rice?
Presidential memorabilia: Bill Clinton’s prostate gland is in a jar on a shelf at Harvard University. A date for the auction has not yet been set.
Not all idiots are Mongolian. Some of them are just passing through Mongolia on their way to Washington.
Every time I see Barbara Boxer or Dianne Feinstein on television my circumcision starts to burn.
The Nose Police have issued a warning that second hand smoke is more injurious to your nostrils than previously-snorted cocaine. Who says they’re not on top of things?
Sean Penn’s father, Leo Penn, was on Hollywood’s “Commie” tainted blacklist. Presumably Sean intends to follow in his father’s fingerprints.
Fascinating medical statistic: Side effects have passed complications as a leading cause of death.
With so many public relations hacks festering on the airwaves its time for the mainstream media to establish a "Wonk of the Week” Award
No matter what Bill Clinton’s groupie, Bill Richardson, does or will ever do, he’s in over his head. Richardson suffers from delusions of adequacy.
Can anyone remember back to when there were actually two political parties in Washington?”
Civil rights leaders have raised the question, “Is Barack Obama black enough?” Presumably, they will next require him to carry an Ace of Spades in his wallet for identification. So far no politician has raised the question, “How black is black?” [Note: Not content with making “the N word” mandatory, Jesse Jackson now wants to abolish it and make the N word an un-word. That will leave a blank place it in the dictionary with Jackson’s picture next to it. Once we have enough un-words in our lexicon we won’t know what we’re talking about – just like Jesse.]
Question: What do family members in Arkansas mean when they say “It’s all relative”? Answer: They mean especially on Saturday nights.
Bush’s prodigality with America’s money has been unforgivable and, worse, un-Republican. Bush should pack up his compassion and hit the road
To compete with Viagra, a pharmaceutical company has developed something called the power condom. Nobody knows what it does but I hate to think of one of them falling into Bill Clinton’s unscrupulous hands.
The latest environmentalist theory is that global warming is caused by sexual intercourse. Afterward, if it you don’t think the Earth’s climate is warmer than usual, that means you didn’t do it right.
Most illegal aliens have “rap sheets” a mile long. You can hardly call them “Un-documented”.
When you consider Geraldo Rivera and Adolph Hitler you marvel at how far a guy can go in life with a ridiculous moustache.
The relentlessly impoverished condition of “developing countries” indicates that developing countries are in fact non-developing countries and determined to remain so.
The United Nation’s plan to relocate people in Darfur to Detroit has been judged to be a lateral move and dropped. Detroit is already The Casbah – but without Rick’s Café Americain.
There is no trick to guessing how the minority folk are going to vote in the coming Presidential election. The trick will be living with the results.
Trial lawyer John Edwards is being approached to write an inspirational law book called “Sue Your Way to a Secure Future”.
When Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein brought them down, members of the Nixon Administration were already easy targets. The movie about Woodward and Bernstein should have been called “All The President’s Sitting Ducks”.
Before he leaves office George Bush hopes to have achieved his ambition to be the leader of the non-English speaking world.
Canada is rejecting Mexicans for any reason that occurs to them. It looks like they will get their fence erected before we even start on ours.
The Clinton crowd may get another crack at sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. The last bunch couldn’t tell the difference between emancipation and fornication. Consistently, illegal aliens are not helpless. They always have a choice between going to hell and staying in Mexico.
At the conclusion of his tenure Karl Rove comes off looking like Machiavelli by having made George Bush look like Dagwood Bumstead.
With all these magical cures and nostrums showing up on line email will soon have an in-box, an out-box, and a quack-box.
Teddy Kennedy owns the only Oldsmobile whose dash board has a dial that measures fathoms. Not very impressive to the family of Mary Jo Kopchne.
Characteristic of its namesake, The Clinton Library has an Opportunists Way In and a Cowards Way Out.
The rumor is John Edwards uses prescription hair tonic.
The reason that there are no songs written in Ebonics is because the words moon, June, spoon and tune do not rhyme with the word muthaf-cker. (Incidentally, was God sending a message when he made everybody’s eyeballs white?)
Bill Clinton keeps grinning like a Saudi Prince with his first blonde.
Things have not yet hit bottom. Rodney King could have entered the Indy 500 – and worse – he could have gotten his hands on the starter’s gun.
After making the United Kingdom into a third rate nation Tony Blair left his successor struggling to keep it there. Consistently, the Brits’ Prince Harry should consider leaving England and becoming Prince of Arkansas. He has all the raunchy qualifications.
TV journalists find the most difficult aspect of interviewing Al Sharpton is pretending he’s not ridiculous.
Washington’s solution for every dilemma is inertia - because it works every time it’s tried.
An argument can be made that the hip-hoppers have their caps on correctly. It is their heads that are on backwards.
Jimmy Carter is the most virulent anti-Semite since Heinrich Himmler - and the least amusing.
Woodstock would have been a better place if the people who went there brought shovels instead of guitars.
Whatever happened to naming a kid Junior instead of Jamal? And could it be that America’s enemy is the Muslim faith - and everything else is bullsh-t?
The minority now outnumbers the majority but will continue to claim the status as a minority - as long as there’s big money in it. America’s best interests seem to end abruptly at the Inner City Limits.
Greta Van Susteran has a smile as crooked as an Arkansas land deal.
The Civil Rights Movement has proved that as far as Washington is concerned, people who can’t do anything right can do no wrong. Say, what?
Barry Bonds has taken his rightful place in Baseball’s Hall of Asterisks. Considering the ready availability of drugs in that city, why don’t they change their team’s name to the San Francisco Users? Barry Bonds has changed the description of a baseball from a spheroid to a steroid.
Re Fred Thompson and the Republican field: The best is the best and the rest is the rest. Considering Hillary Clinton and the Democrat field – the worst is the worst and the worst is the worst.
It may have escaped Caroline Giuliani’s attention that her father, Rudy Giuliani, is running for President. She has declared her support for Barack Obama. Frankly, I don’t want to know the reason why, and I don’t think Rudy wants to know why either.
Considering his record of unparalleled cowardice in the Senate shouldn’t Trent Lott end up with more than a passing mention in the Yellow Pages?
Now that Al Gore has predicted the end of the world, shouldn’t his political party change its name to the Doom-ocrats?
And this …
It’s time to tell the Chinese to get the lead out.
***
And if the mainstream media ever tells the truth, hell hath frozen over. The truth being that NASA's budget is less than 1% of the entire federal budget. And it's always the first thing people talk about cutting. Idiots.
As a former New Mexican, I concur. Richardson needs to get a GRIP.
I always wondered how they could pull that off. The same with the other race-baiter and presidential confidant to Clinton, Jesse Jackson.
"...Whatever happened to naming a kid Junior instead of Jamal? And could it be that America’s enemy is the Muslim faith - and everything else is bullsh-t?..."
Might be the best line, Norm. Good to see you, my friend ........................ FRegards
Trolling for ping-lists, folks ...
Thanks for the ping!
Certainly left no public figure unscathed..
He is also very correct on many of them.
Yours?
Every time I see Barbara Boxer or Dianne Feinstein on television my circumcision starts to burn.
Hi Sweetie ....................... Smootches
Wow, can I ever envision yet another Democrat TV ad that could just bury Giuliani....
5.56mm
As the time-honored expression goes - it’s great to be among friends.
Norm
Always good to see your work here, Norm .............. Barry/gonzo
Firehat, you have a gift that keeps on giving. I never get enuf of yer wonderful stuff!
Leni
Leni,
I’m glad you find my articles worthwhile and I thank you for your generous comments. I wish you well.
Norm
*smooch*
A-Bump ................... FRegards
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