Posted on 12/09/2007 12:49:26 PM PST by aomagrat
Edited on 12/09/2007 12:59:09 PM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]
[I waited 45 seconds and actually posted something substantial--Ed.]
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — At least four people were shot outside of a Colorado Springs church on Sunday, but it was not immediately known whether the shootings were related to an earlier shooting about 70 miles away, authorities said.
Rocks? shaking my head.
"I bash myself to sleep, what you (and your pentecostal friends) sow I will reap.....
I scar myself you see...I wish I wasn't me
I hate therefore I am....god @#%$ your righteous hand
I throw a little fit, I slit my teenage wrist
record me with your fist
the most I can learn....is the records that you burn
you want me to save the world...I'm just a little boy
....get your gun"
I continue to be struck by his physical abuse analogies. And he appears to appropriate other's suffering and own it as his own in several places. The homeschooler who was physically abused. The girl who was physically abused by her mom. He writes as if those abuses were done to him.
Not many. No damage done. It's not like this is a short thread. :-)
Thanks! Great listing there. Looks like they only deleted his most recent posts, the ones with the most threatening tones. The most recent I found was 12/1/07 (you have one listed as 12/11 but it’s actually 12/1).
You got that right.
Did you see any mention of his dad? He really seemed to have issues with his mom though. In his mind could this have been to punish her?
That was a weird one..I was getting read to copy and paste it myself.
I can’t talk about computer time today.:’)
Whew...good, cuz I don't want to create duplicates. The titles are disturbing and are examples of numerous emtions I can't even describe it.
Your welcome..I didnt’ catch the date mixup. I was trying to hurry when I read someone saying that they could be deleted. sidenote: I have a headache so bear with me :)
Re: Countdown to the end.....?
Some days I’d even lay awake worrying that I had dropped a few cents while placing my 10% tithes into the offering plate or that I had miscalculated my tithes and....something bad would happen........
Then there was all the Eph 6:1-3 teachings which caused me to worry since no one could answer the question “what if a child rebels against a parent or pastor who is being abusive?”(no, not just a little strict or “setting some standards”.........) and “why don’t all these rules of non-violence and other rules apply to church leaders and parents?”
Another issue was the issue of music. Many of the christians and some of the church leaders and my parents said that ANY music “with a beat”(including Christian Contemporary and Christian Rock) was “of Satan and had backmasking” yet OTHER CHRISTIANS said that was nonsense and....BOTH SIDES used the BIBLE to back their side up...so........how the f*** am I supposed to even know what to do when no one could even figure out what is actually a sin in the “eyes of God” according to that infallible book....the bible.
End times? I so badly wanted to understand what it all meant...so I looked into it as a teenager and found out that there are at least 7 different views of “the end times” and....they all had....the infallible bible to support their contradictory beliefs of the “end times.”
Just like Marilyn Manson, I’d often have nightmares about all this armaggedon mark of the beast antichrist “left behind” bulls***.
They considered me their “chosen prophet.”(who was to become some international leader for their stupid dominionist charismatic Peter Wagner Bill Gothard pentecostal cult.)
All that insanity along with some other pentecostal/Bill Gothard doctrines at one point made me to want to die since......”there’s no point in living anyways since I’m going to be left behind or end up in hell no matter what I do”....there might have also been some....uh...self-mutilation in all that too.
“I bash myself to sleep, what you (and your pentecostal friends) sow I will reap.....
I scar myself you see...I wish I wasn’t me
I hate therefore I am....god @#%$ your righteous hand
I throw a little fit, I slit my teenage wrist
record me with your fist
the most I can learn....is the records that you burn
you want me to save the world...I’m just a little boy
....get your gun”
_________________________________________________
I never really hated the one true God but the God of the people I hated
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=2010.topic&index=2
I missed this post earlier. I just had to look at your profile page. You don't run into somebody with a "PhD in Reality Testing" every day.
Oh Boy! I swear that I did not yet see your profile page when I made my conspiracy kook and snake oil peddlar comment. I can see why you bristled.
If I'm nice, perhaps I can get you to enlighten me with answers to questions that philosophers, scientists, historians and theologians have debated and failed to agree upon for centuries.
Since you asked, I specialize in UI (user interface) development and multi-variate testing for web sites. Results are tested in the real world, with the almighty $$ (sales, revenue) generally determining what works best. Sometimes, other metrics are used to measure success. Ultimately, the objective is to steer web site visitors to a desired outcome. It gets rather scientific really.
My thoughts on ALL CAPS probably aren't nearly as relevant as those of a UFO and Bible Code expert. Perhaps I can leverage your reality-testing algorithms to short-cut my processes and make them more efficient.
Disclaimer:
I caved to "Internet group think" on the above post and chose to include paragraph tags. Perhaps this makes the post "less conservative" but it was long and I felt they were necessary. I thought about using all caps just for you, but that might have gotten me flamed by the sheep who have bought in to irrational Internet group-think. I feel so ashamed and should probably go join DU.
nghtmrchld26
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1764.topic
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Posts: 29
(5/30/07 10:37 pm)
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Crying all alone in pain in the nightmare of christianity...
Crying all alone in pain losing all reserve….I can’t wake up out of this nightmare........
Insane? Am I the only @#%$ with a brain?........
Maze...psychopathic daze...I create this waste
Back away from tangents, on the verge of drastic
ways...can’t escape this place...I deny your face
Sweat gets in my eyes, I think I’m slowly dying
Put me in a homemade cellar
Put me in a hole for shelter
Someone hear me please, all I see is hate
I can hardly breathe, and I can hardly take it!
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN’TBREAKOUT!
Lost...ran at my own cost...hearing laughter, scoffed
Learning from the rush, detached from such and such
Bleak...all around me, weak...listening, incomplete
I am not a dog, but I’m the one your dogging……
I am crying here in a buried kennel
I have never felt so final
Someone find me please, losing all reserve
I am @#%$ gone, I think I’m @#%$ dying
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN’TGETOUT!
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something in you I despise
Cut me! show me! beat me! molest me! abuse me! @#%$ me! hate me! break me! Rape me! kill me!
Here is my purity……
Enter this nightmare…..I am willing and able and never any danger to myself
Knowledge in my pain, knowledge in my pain, just....@#%$ acknowledge all my pain, acknowledge all my pain.....knowledge in my pain......
Or was my tolerance a phase?
Empathy! out of my way!
I can’t die.....I can’t die.....I can’t die.....trancing out into another dark reality as the pain fades away....my purity.....
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something inside me
You all stare, but you’ll never see
There is something in you I despise.....
have you ever seen God?......have you ever seen God?
have you ever......
__________________________________________
Mister Crowley.......
nghtmrchld26
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Posts: 12
(3/14/07 8:52 pm)
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pentecostal insanity regarding media/entertainment
I still remember how we were told that “The Simpsons” was a very evil and Satanic TV show with the intent of causing people to leave Christianity (as if that’s a bad thing). As a teenager my mother had the TV tuner removed by a TV technician so that it could only receive from the AV inputs, meaning, could only watch VHS and DVDs. I remember me and the other church youth would go over to the Senior pastor’s house and ask to watch the very same movie that his 10 year old son or daughter had told us they’d watch and be told “sorry guys, that’s rated ‘R,’ it’s not Godly.” Of course we’d ask “but then why do you have it?” Sometimes he’d lie, other times he’d just say “sorry…you can’t.”
I remember wanting to listen to Christian music and be told by my parents and other church members that we couldn’t, EVEN THOUGH the senior pastor’s and other church leader’s families did.
Internet was treated as one of Satan’s special weapons in the “end-times” to promote sex(which everyone knows is of the Devil…..) Everyone was terrified that one of us teenagers *might* get a glimpse of a naked body and become demon possessed. This always confused me for how can viewing what God designed be satanic at the same time? And if we “lust” are the demons able to read our thoughts and somehow *know* to seize upon us? Isn’t it possible to see nudity without *lusting* somehow? Of course, the senior pastor’s two oldest children, one male the other female, got someone pregnant and got pregnant; the other two younger ones were proven to be sexually active. Other church leader’s children were sexually active.
Music was VERY restricted of course. We got all kinds of lectures on how Satanist covens had some kind of backmasking technology and were partnered with all the artists, including Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, Britney Spears, Madonna and N’sync. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith were said be in on it too…even though the “elite” members of the church listened to them. Growing up, I was restricted to listening to….sermons on the radio or through tapes.
Books were VERY restricted. We were only allowed to read Christian books and forced to memorize the bible. When Harry Potter came out we were all given lectures about how “we’re living in the end times and Satan is trying to capture the children and make them all witches!!!!” I knew of a few people who got harassed for letting their kids read Harry Potter.
I remember with all these different forms of media it was like I was always in Mission Impossible. We were either at church or being brainwashed in Christian home school. When we did have free time…we were either forced to pray, read the bible, do chores, or…..well nothing since we were not allowed to do anything. We were all being trained to “become the future of Christianity.” “The chosen generation that is going to turn America back to God in these last days.”
“The chosen generation who are going to become great prophets and pastors and evangelists and missionaries in the world.”
“The chosen generation who are going to take over the world and do away with everyone else’s false satanic religion and take dominion until Jesus returns!!!!!!”
Well, I got all fed up with the insanity, hypocrisy, conflicting doctrines, the and lack of absolute answers in regards to “salvation,” heaven and hell and other theological issues, the child abuse, brainwashing, lies, gossip, scandals, threats and fear mongering. I got tired of always hearing “oooohh, you’re saved by grace, not by works!” “Everybody loves you! Jesus loves you!” only to hear about how I was going to hell for watching “The simpsons” or could lose my salvation and could never be certain if 30 years from now I might lose it due to some odd sin and die in an accident and end up in this eternal hell preached to us day and night.
Me, I found a new Law to live by and I realized……I don’t have to be abused nor submit to these liars and their lies nor do I have to be afraid of this make-believe hell and false theory of salvation which no fundamentalist Christian could ever give solid answers on.
Me and many others are waking up.
We will rise up above and against these abuses against humanity.
Men will no longer be ruled by fear and superstition, oppressed by bigotry and tyranny.
______________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star
Edited by: nghtmrchld26 at: 3/15/07 8:43 am
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1656.topic
Absolutely. He wanted to attack her favorite pastor and what he stood for, Ted Haggard. He has another post on the forum where he tells that his mom was the keeper of who was "elite" in the church and who wasn't. And how she had prophesied over him that he would be a great minister.
nghtmrchld26
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Posts: 51
(8/23/07 9:39 pm)
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Re: Werewolves and Witches
were ALL working together to:
promote Marilyn Manson
Weather Control
RFID chips/mark of the beast chips
“One world government”(even though the pente-matics talk about having “one world government” under Christ)
Backmask lyrics into rock music
Promote evil secular universities and liberalism and socialism
Rebecca Brown claimed that:
Satanists are running most major police departments and hospitals in America
Child sacrifice is rampant throughout all american cities
Alot of these people claimed to have special “insider info” on “the illuminati” and “the high satanic brotherhood.”
All this insider info is wonderful except.........where’s the factual evidence of WHERE all these “satanist child sacrifices” took place? At WHICH mormon temple/mason group did these things happen and WHERE are the victims and witnesses now? Who, what, when, and where did all these “satanism activities” actually take place? WHO was/is the head of these satanist hospitals and police departments? Where are these places? Just WHERE did you have these secret “illuminati” meetings?
WHAT are the phone numbers and addresses of all these “illuminati” and “satanist” people?
You’ll notice that in Rebecca Brown’s book and many others NONE of those details are given. When these people are asked these questions they ALWAYS say something along the lines of:
“You must be one of the satanists.....” “you’re just trying to stand in the way of what God is trying to do” “you have an evil spirit” “I can’t give details or the illuminati will come and kill me......” “the bible says not to through pearls before swine”
Notice that all of these responses sidestep the issue and are only attempts to not have to provide evidence for all their fantastical claims.
I remember in youth group we’d watch videos about getting “Left Behind” and how Bill Clinton and Skull and Bones were going to usher in the Antichrist and make all of us to take “the mark.” lol I’d even have nightmares about it and sometimes lay wide awake worrying about whether or not all these “satanist mark of the beast” people were watching our church waiting to kidnap or somehow tempt us and put spells on us. Of course, then Y2K and Bill Clinton came and went and I started to question what was really going on........
I started to find out that all these conspiracy freaks were all about........MONEY. Who’d have thought? I started realizing that all these conspiracy books and videos being touted as “God’s message and warning to America and christians to repent” were being SOLD FOR MONEY AND NOT FREELY GIVEN AWAY.
I also started to ask this question:
Why is everyone SOOOO concerned about some supposed satanist coven that’s “casting spells” in the neighborhood when christians in my own church and in other groups don’t even show love to each other and treat each other like @#%$? Why is everyone sooooo worried about what Bill Clinton is doing when the pastor and the other christian leaders live completely double lives, telling everyone they’re going to hell for things that they’re doing?
I also came to the realization that many of the christians and christian ministries who CONDEMNED these conspiracy freaks and who condemned pentecostalism(such as hank hanegraph) were the same fake hypocrites everywhere else. They were SELLING their anti-pentecostal books and ministries for money too........
When dealing with these conspiracy groups ALWAYS demand factual evidence. Rebecca Brown “M.D.”(her license was revoked due to her fanatical pentecostal behaviour) claims that “Elaine” went to some special “satanist camp” at age 15(or around that age) and that the “satanist there said she was specially chosen for Satan’s work.” Well that’s wonderful but......where was this camp held?! Who put this camp on? Rebecca also claims that the satanist covens have their own PRIVATE AIRFIELD and private jets and are involved in drug and weapons running. Well that’s great but......WHERE? WHO? WHEN? HOW?
.
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1859.topic&index=9
__________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star......
Shooters view media influences.... post number 2035
Basically, they believe that I am their "chosen one" for "the end times" and according to the Ezekial passage they believe that I am going to go back to their church/system.
The problem right now is the fact that it appears that they are always going to pursue me throughout life(and they have said so), as I am supposedly the "chosen one." As far as I can tell they did not treat the other youth the same way.
Well, I don't want to be their "chosen one" at all. I just wish I could find some way to wake up from this nightmare.
They don’t see us anymore Without love as they had promised And no faith for what’s in store Oh I wish that I could see How I wish that I could fly From these things that hang above me To a place where I can cry Where are all these feelings hiding? Dancing in and out my mind Burning up all that I long for Feeding me till my decline Where are you? My soul is bleeding I am searching, am I blind? All alone and bound forever Trapped inside me for all time
So what can it be? No one hears me call Echoes back at me….. No one's there….. To all these nameless feelings I can't deal with in my life To all these greedy people Trying to feed on what is mine You’ve got to fill your hunger And stop @#%$ with my mind I know it's time to leave these places far behind………….
They will always be targeting me,hoping and praying I'll come back, waiting for some weakness(financial, health, or otherwise) so they can move in and re-convert me. Sometimes I fear I'll end up going back. Sometimes the depression gets so dark, and trying to live in the "real unsheltered world" gets so hard I start to think about returning back to what is at least "familiar," into a system I at least know how to behave and live in. I know there is a way out of this nightmare
It's just so f***ed up that this is the whole reason I was born.
The virgins are feeling cheated and there is an exit here, Don't say it isn't it's true......
I went to God just to see.........
I'm working on a way out here, time is going to wash away all pain.
Author Comment
nghtmrchld26
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Posts: 95
(11/24/07 4:33 pm)
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Re: Power Struggle at Mars Hill Church
The real problem for people who get into these different cults(whether christian or non-christian) is that they join in their youth and then end up spending a good portion of their lives serving the cult/cult system.....even to the point of sacrificing their money, their minds, their families and children and their lives.
http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1996.topic&index=5
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