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Attachment & Adult Relationships [Parent Activism Toward Preventing Shootings etc.]
HELPGUIDE.ORG ^ | 10 DEC 2007 | HELPGUIDE.ORG

Posted on 12/10/2007 5:55:08 PM PST by Quix

QX NOTE: the following is a—GENERALIZED DISCUSSION—in the interest of preventing such horrors as the recent Colorado shootings. I do not know important details nor do I wish to add to the parent’s grief. HOWEVER, this is a VERY TEACHABLE moment for many who may read such an article as this. And I dare not ignore such a fitting opportunity. Therefore, read my comments and the articles referred to as PRESCRIPTIVE, PREVENTATIVE, not punishing or haughtily castigating. Life is complex. Parenting is even more complex. Nevertheless, the research on ATTACHMENT and REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER is remarkably clear with confirming brain scan data as well as a host of other solid data. Any parent or society which ignores such data is worse than willfully ignorant. I would consider parents currently rearing toddlers, if they are aware and ignore such overwhelming data—to be criminal. [sorry for html errors below--a bit rushed--see full doc at the link]

 

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Attachment and Adult Relationships:

How the Attachment Bond Shapes Adult Relationships

The Attachment Bond

Have you ever been in love? We all have, at least once. The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship—the one we had with our primary caregivers, our mothers. The mother–child attachment bond shapes infants brains, profoundly influencing our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successfulrelationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love—the attachment bond—has a life-long effect.

This article explores the scientific basis of attachment theory and its lessons for healthy adult love relationships.

QX COMMENTARY:

CERTAINLY Mothers are super critical in terms of attachment. However, as a growing body of research has been showing the last decade or so, Fathers play a very critical role as well.

Sadly, in our society, that role seems to be largely abdicated—absent, ineffectual, neutered, inept, destructive. Fathers are just not available and when they are they do not know how or do not manage to bond with the child in healthily affectionate; deeply emotionally connected and affirming ways. And, it is FATHERS who are most and evidently best models for responsibility, resilience, courage, standing tall, OVERCOMING, self-confidence, identity, competence and confidence in work tasks . . . and the like. . . . back to this article:

In This Article:

Attachment, bonding and relationships

You were born preprogrammed to bond with one very significant person—your primary caregiver, probably your mother. Like all infants, you were a bundle of emotions—intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy. The emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. The bonding you experienced determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life, because it established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships. [Qx emph]

Individuals who experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This limits their ability to build or maintain successful relationships. [Qx emph. Sociopaths cannot empathize at all] Attachment—the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers—is responsible for:

  • shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
  • the ability to maintain emotional balance
  • the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
  • the ability to rebound from disappointment, discouragement, and misfortune

Scientific study of the brain—and the role attachment plays in shaping it—has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. [Qx E] Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother–child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for: [Qx E below]

  • shaping all of our future relationships
  • strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
  • the ability to bounce back from misfortune

Research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions. Studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails. Researchers found that successful [QE] adult relationships depend on the ability to:

  • manage stress
  • stay “tuned in” with emotions
  • use communicative body language
  • be playful in amutually engagingmanner
  • be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges

The same research also found that an insecure attachment may be caused by abuse, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. [QE]

These discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships, providing the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is on the rocks.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

For better or worse, the infant brain is profoundly influenced [QE] by the attachment bond—a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system [qe] becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic. [qe]

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:

  • feel safe
  • develop meaningful connections with others
  • explore our world
  • deal with stress
  • balance emotions
  • experience comfort and security
  • make sense of our lives
  • create positive memories and expectations of relationships

Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers don’t have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in tune with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time. [qe]

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in our lives, and it takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord.[qe] These insecurities may lead us to:

  • Tune out and turn off—If our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may—as children—get lost in our own inner world, avoiding any close, emotional connections. As adults, we may become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
  • Remain insecure—If we have a parent who is inconsistent or intrusive, it’s likely we will become anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. As adults, we may be available one moment and rejecting the next.
  • Become disorganized, aggressive and angry—When our early needs for emotional closeness go unfulfilled, or when a parent's behavior is a source of disorientingterror, problems are sure to follow. As adults, we may not love easily and may be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
  • Develop slowly—Such delays manifest themselves as deficits and result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and social and learning disabilities.
[qe]
Attachment Style Parental Style Resulting Adult Characteristics

Secure

Aligned with the child; in tune with the child’s emotions

Able to create meaningful relationships; empathetic; able to set appropriate boundaries

Avoidant

Unavailable or rejecting

Avoids closeness or emotional connection; distant; critical; rigid; intolerant

Ambivalent

Inconsistent and sometimes intrusive parent communication

Anxious and insecure; controlling; blaming; erratic; unpredictable; sometimes charming

Disorganized

Ignored or didn’t see child’s needs; parental behavior was frightening/traumatizing

Chaotic; insensitive; explosive; abusive; untrusting even while craving security

Reactive

Extremely unattached or malfunctioning

Cannot establish positive relationships; often misdiagnosed

Varying parental styles and types of attachment bonds are found throughout any population, culture, ethnic, or socio-economic group.

Causes of insecure attachment

Major causes of insecure attachments include:

  • physical neglect —poor nutrition, insufficient exercise, and neglect of medical issues
  • emotional neglect or emotional abuse—little attention paid to child, little or no effort to understand child’s feelings; verbal abuse
  • physical or sexual abuse—physical injury or violation
  • separation from primary caregiver—due to illness, death, divorce, adoption
  • inconsistency in primary caregiver—succession of nannies or staff at daycare centers
  • frequent moves or placements— constantly changing environment; for example: children who spend their early years in orphanages or who move from foster home to foster home
  • traumatic experiences— serious illnesses or accidents
  • maternal depression—withdrawal from maternal role due to isolation, lack of social support, hormonal problems
  • maternal addiction to alcohol or other drugs—maternal responsiveness reduced by mind-altering substances
  • young or inexperienced mother—lacks parenting skills

The lessons of attachment help us heal adult relationships

The powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond—our first love relationship—continue to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1—adult relationships depend for their success on nonverbal forms of communication. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan, yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs, something wonderful occurs.

Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:

  • nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
  • play helps us smooth over the rough spots in love relationships
  • conflicts can build trust if we approach them without fear or a need to punish

When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, expectations, attitudes, assumptions and behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can end their influence on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that produce an attuned attachment and successful relationships.

Part 1: Learning the Key Skills of Emotional Intelligence

Part 2: Quick Course in Raising Emotional Intelligence

Part 3:  Research Linking Attachment to Brain Development and Relationships

Related Links for Attachment Theory

Adult Attachment Theory and Research – University of Illinois

Attachment theory – Wikipedia

Authored by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D with Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D; Editing by Pat Davies and Suzanne Barston  Last modified on: 9/04/07.

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TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: 2ndamendment; armedcitizen; attachment; banglist; churchshooting; colorado; parenting; psychology; rkba; shooting
Additional research and commentary to follow as I can manage it and still get my grades in.
1 posted on 12/10/2007 5:55:10 PM PST by Quix
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To: Quix

Good job.

Thanks.


2 posted on 12/10/2007 6:01:19 PM PST by Joya (Hark! the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn king. Peace on earth and mercy mild ...)
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To: Joya

THANKS.


3 posted on 12/10/2007 6:27:22 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix

This is the PRIMARY reason for the explosion in the gay population. Gay people are the product, primarily, of narcissistic, weak, inadequate, absent, abusive, ignorant heterosexual people—their parents.

Gay propaganda, contraception (the culture of straight sodomy), and seduction all play a role, but the PRIMARY reason is the disintegration of the family, which has been created primarily by the State, using 1) school, which infantilizes parents on a massive scale, usurping their natural, normal functions, 2) welfare, which makes males unnecessary, 3) exorbitant taxation, which pressures mothers to forego mothering for “work.”

Our “representative” government (local, state, federal) is destroying the people. Not just costing them money, not just inconveniencing and burdening them, but literally destroying them as functioning human beings.


4 posted on 12/10/2007 6:33:39 PM PST by Arthur McGowan
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To: Quix; Joya

Be VERY careful abolut believing anything you read or hear about “reactive attachment disorder”. It is a pet “diagnosis” of self-described therapists who prescribe and/or perform horrific “therapies” that have led to the deaths of several children and profound psychological harm to many many more. This is the “diagnosis” that led to the deaths of at least 2 children via “forced water drinking therapy” and of the little girl in Colorado who was killed by being suffocated in a blanket by her mother and a “therapist” as part of a “rebirthing therapy” in which the child was supposed to do the birth experience over again by struggling to get out of the blanket while the adults screamed at her, held her down, and prevented her from getting out of the blanket. One of the favorite “symptoms” they note is a child’s failure to instantly and enthusiastically comply with any and all orders from their parents. Until the child does that consistently, s/he is said to require more “therapy”.


5 posted on 12/10/2007 6:37:02 PM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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To: Arthur McGowan

I thoroughly agree with you.


6 posted on 12/10/2007 6:38:28 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: GovernmentShrinker

All kinds of abusive craziness

is “based”

on The Bible . . .

how could mere research by man fare any better.

The issues are still solidly research based and factual.

I’ve seen it in my own life and the lives of countless counseling clients and thousands of others in my social network over my 60+ years.

Doing screwy things with solid facts does not negate the facts.


7 posted on 12/10/2007 6:40:33 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: GovernmentShrinker; Quix

I appreciate your warning. I didn’t know the treatment led to the death of two children.

I had wondered why the “Attachments” book was not longer available except a used copy on Amazon for several hundred dollars.

Treatments aside, I think there’s truth in the theory that gaps in early childhood attachments do have an ongoing impact throughout life, not just with the crazed killers but also with everyday normal people who have to work very hard to relate to others and to have “real” relationships.


8 posted on 12/11/2007 1:06:46 AM PST by Joya (Hark! the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn king. Peace on earth and mercy mild ...)
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bump to read later


9 posted on 12/11/2007 3:12:10 AM PST by Lil'freeper (Don't taze me, bro! [[NaNoWriMo Winnah! WoCo: 57436/50K]])
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To: Joya

Yes, mainstream psychology/psychiatry certainly recognizes that early childhood attachment is an essential component of normal human development. It’s the “reactive attachment disorder” label (sometimes just “attachment disorder”) and “attachment therapy” that raises a red flag. It’s a diagnosis that does exist in the official book of psychiatric disorders (DSM-IV), but legitimate professionals in the field say that its severe forms are rare, and they certainly don’t prescribe bizarre “treatments” that amount to torture. The scammers and cultists who peddle these expensive “treatment” programs invariably point to the DSM-IV listing as evidence that this is a legitimate psychiatric disorder, but invariably fail to mention that it is rare, cannot be diagnosed by the casual “my kid’s driving me crazy” criteria that the peddlers promote, and certainly cannot be successfully treated by the bizarre methods they advocate.

According to one source, 8 children are known to have died from this sort of “therapy”, and with that number of deaths you have to think that a huge number of others have suffered irreparable psychological harm. The Quackwatch page on this topic is well worth reading:
http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/at.html

This page has a long list of quotes from one of the leading proponents/developers of this “therapy”. You can’t help but conclude that this woman belongs in a secure mental hospital. She advocates that the “therapy” be used on all children from birth onwards: “It is a good idea to begin holding in the first years of life. But how do you hold a baby who can’t talk to you? Is it good to make the baby angry? … You will not be making your baby angry. You will be allowing your baby to express anger in order to become better attached. . . . You might wonder how to hold a baby who can’t talk. … If he arches his back, averts his gaze, or squirms to be put down, tighten your grasp. He will fight you. You must resolve not to let go until he relaxes happily in your arms. He will most likely become very frustrated. He may cry and scream. Most babies turn pink or purple from intense crying. … Some babies fall asleep … If he awakens still fighting, then you must hold on until he feels better.”
http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/welch.html

This page features a picture of another facet of this bizarre “therapy”, bottle-feeding of children through adolescent age, and a terrifying video clip of a “rage reduction therapy” session (be sure to turn up the volume so you can fully appreciate the terrified child’s screams as he is tortured by 3 adults).
http://www.childrenintherapy.org/

This link includes info on another victim, Krystal Tibbets, as well as one of the forced water drinking victims, Cassandra Kilpack.
http://www.caica.org/Krystal_Tibbetts_attachment_therapy_death.htm

This link has more details about the Cassandra Kilpack case. Unlike Krystal’s remorseful father, Mr. Kilpack maintains he and his wife did nothing wrong.
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/1673895/detail.html


10 posted on 12/11/2007 4:57:05 AM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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To: GovernmentShrinker; All

I QUITE AGREE

about CRAZY “THERAPIES.”

But PLEASE avoid allowing the crazy responses and “treatments”

to obscure the larger importance of PREVENTING such dynamics.

ATTACHMENTS by Drs Tim Clinton & Gary Sibcy has 10 or so points in the latter half of the book for adults to work through such a history. Sadly, the book is not a cheap book. Check the library where you live.

Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do by Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy

http://www.amazon.com/Attachments-Why-You-Love-Feel/dp/1591450268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197381822&sr=1-1


11 posted on 12/11/2007 6:05:38 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix

What is your opinion on “Attachment Parenting”?


12 posted on 12/11/2007 8:27:00 AM PST by Lil'freeper (Don't taze me, bro!)
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To: Lil'freeper

Tell me what YOU mean by it and I’ll tell you my opinion.


13 posted on 12/11/2007 8:37:35 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix

Ok - haven’t read any of the materials or books, just have heard *about* it and what various people do: breastfeeding until self-weaned, co-sleeping, “baby-wearing”, every cry gets a response (ie, no “let him cry it out”)...


14 posted on 12/11/2007 8:39:59 AM PST by Lil'freeper (Don't taze me, bro!)
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To: Lil'freeper

just have heard *about* it and what various people do: breastfeeding until self-weaned, co-sleeping, “baby-wearing”, every cry gets a response (ie, no “let him cry it out”)...

= = =

Within some ‘extreme’ limits and balance,

I STRONGLY SUPPORT SUCH THINGS.

I used to disagree. I was reared by a mother who believed that if a kid had been fed, diapered and held for 10 minutes—then they should be left to wail for hours.

Mother could not breast feed, BTW.

My adopted sister (1 week old when I was 10) had a very shrill voice. She would be left alone in her crib wailing shrill-ly for very long periods of time. Sometimes mother would even whack her diaper to try and get her to stop.

I now consider that abusive neglect to allow such wailing.

The research is VERY CLEAR. Carrying the child around next to you produces children MUCH MORE confident; much more willing and able to explore their environments; try new things; relate confidently to people more boldly etc. They feel safer in the world. They act more assertively in the world. They do not cringe in fear and insecurity.

I’m certainly strongly in favor of breast feeding. The medical and psychological benefits of that are clear. The data is VERY CLEAR.

On the other hand, I knew a mother with a son who was 6 or 7 years old and who in the middle of a mall or dept store would virtually yell:

“MOM, I’M HUNGRY, GIVE ME A BREAST! NOW!”

That kid NEEDED a good whack or two. And weaned some time before that. But not necessarily weaned from being held warmly—his mom was divorced and dad was not around.

I think ALMOST every cry needs a warm, affectionate response. As kids get older, they will naturally handle more frustrations and challenges because they have been made to feel safe and protected and supported.

Certainly kids need some frustration tolerance training as they get older.

Co-sleeping . . . certainly as infants if there’s no danger of rolling over and smothering the kid . . . could be healthy. As kids get older—gets problematic fast especially if the parents are not super healthy.

On the other hand, many cultures have essentially the whole family in one bed for an extended time . . . in MANY cases but certainly far from all . . . successfully and healthily. In think in our culture . . . it’s a problematic issue that needs very careful application. But mostly, in terms of infants, I support it. Some toddlers depending. After that, it’s probably too risky in most cases to support across the board.

Mothers with 10 year old sons; fathers with 10 year old daughters is nonsense, imho—especially on a routine basis.


15 posted on 12/11/2007 8:52:54 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix

I know that early childhood attachment is essential to mental health and that lack thereof causes serious problems. But I also think that, given the awful pattern of abusive therapies and plain old money-making scam therapies that have built up around amateur diagnoses of attachment disorder, we should be careful about engaging in or promoting such diagnoses. There is no reason to think that either of the recent headline-grabbing shooters lacked an early childhood environment that would have promoted normal attachment. A lot of other things can cause violent behavior, including inborn genetic traits (which could, among other things, render a child unable to form normal attachments regardless of environment) and later life experiences and substance abuse.


16 posted on 12/11/2007 1:18:43 PM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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To: GovernmentShrinker; All

There is no reason to think that either of the recent headline-grabbing shooters lacked an early childhood environment that would have promoted normal attachment.

= = =

Sorry. That’s simply not true.

All the more so given his blogging docs.

Also, in my 50+ years of intense observations,

I HAVE NEVER KNOWN;

NEVER OBSERVED;

NEVER HEARD OF

any offspring doing anything close to such things . . .

WITHOUT dreadfully poor attachment.

I have had many Christians say to me . . .

ahhhhh . . . but parents can be perfect parents and the child can still turn out screwy.

I have had many bring such cases which supposedly fit that description.

IN 100% OF SUCH CASES, I WAS ABLE AFTER JUST 3-5 QUESTIONS TO DETERMINE THAT HEALTHY ATTACHMENT DID *NOT* occur.

IF 10% of what the shooter in this case said about his mother was true—even healthy motherly attachment did not occur.

If 10% of the implications of the father’s evident absence from emotional bonded connectedness to this son is true, the father did not contribute significant healthy attachment.

If 10% of the indications about super strict Christian discipline efforts are true, this son did not experience healthy attachment.

“no reason to think . . . lacked an early childhood environment that would have promoted normal attachment.”

is simply wholesale untrue.

There are ABUNDANT reasons to believe that. More than a few.

Far more than none.


17 posted on 12/11/2007 1:36:48 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix
I used to disagree.

Me, too. My life's journey has led me to re-examine certain things I used to take as gospel truth. The material you've posted and linked is good food for thought.

18 posted on 12/11/2007 1:37:23 PM PST by Lil'freeper (Don't taze me, bro!)
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To: GovernmentShrinker; All

“inborn genetic traits . . . rendering a child unable to form normal attachments . . .”

I can allow such is theoretically possible.

And, I have known of children super difficult to bond with.

Autism is a challenge to many parents beyond comprehension to parents without such challenges.

Nevertheless, Great numbers of parents with such children with such challenges DO BOND SUFFICIENTLY TO AFFORD SERIOUSLY WONDERFUL HEALTHY ATTACHMENT.

IT IS POSSIBLE EVEN WITH SUCH DEFICITS.

Sometimes there’s a lack of persistent will to sufficiently go the 2nd mile.

Sometimes there’s a lack of skill and understanding to pull it off and too insufficient a persistence to learn such skills.

Failing to learn the necessary skills does not EQUAL IMPOSSIBLE.


19 posted on 12/11/2007 1:41:33 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Lil'freeper

Thanks much for your kind words based in experience and reality.

God’s best to you and yours this CHRISTmas.


20 posted on 12/11/2007 1:42:26 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Lil'freeper

I neglected to include . . .

in my adopted sister’s case . . . 10 years younger . . . folks had more disposable income . . . bought her all kinds of goodies; horse etc.

She was on and off drugs and in and out of jail and prison from age 12. Finally committed suicide by OverDosing illegal drugs at age 40 something.

I don’t think either one of my parents really knew how to bond with anyone but each other. And, their pride, frustrations and anger tended to get in the way of many other relationships.

My sister was super sensitive and brilliant in spite of what the folks thought. She had them wrapped around her finger the first month or 3 of her life. They never overcame that problem or any of the rest of such.

Adequate bonding and follow through would have prevented a 40+ years of pain on the part of all 3 of them.


21 posted on 12/11/2007 1:46:19 PM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Arthur McGowan

23 hours later, I’d like to thank you for your comments. Makes sense to me!


22 posted on 12/11/2007 5:33:47 PM PST by Joya (Hark! the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn king. Peace on earth and mercy mild ...)
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