Posted on 1/3/2008, 3:20:55 PM by laotzu
Hillary Clinton yesterday unveiled her new campaign theme highlighting her experience as a favorite American folk hero. Delivered in colorful vivid oratory and sweeping grandeur is a vision of her bold campaign message: "My experience as a mythical creature has fully prepared me to deal with the unexpected."
"There I was!" she declared, throwing her arms akimbo like an old war horse at the hunting lodge preparing to tell a tale of life and death on the Saranghetti. "Iranian student radicals to the right of me, Mullahs to the left. Was I frightened? No. I planted my feet firmly in the sand, I looked those savages straight in the eye and I said: you release those hostages, you! You release those uninsured middle-class Americans from our embassy right now before we take office! Don't get me mad, you people don't know who you're dealing with! And the rest is history."
22 year old Angela Singleton, one of the many thousands of undecided voters at the event: "She's just extraordinary! Hillary has so many stories I never knew. I was too little to know what was going on when she was First Lady. Her amazing story when she was the first to scale Mount Everest - and when she was pregnant! It's so inspiring. She's got so much to give."
Hillary Clinton has long been considered a favorite American folk hero. She was the largest, smartest, and strongest baby ever born in the state of Illinois. It took five giant storks, working overtime, to deliver her to her parents. Three hours after her birth Hillary was reported to weigh a full eighty pounds and they used a lumber wagon drawn by a team of oxen as a baby carriage. When she was old enough to clap and laugh, the vibration broke every window in the house.
The story of Hillary Clinton is affectionately retold in her autobiographical novels "It Takes a Village" and "Living History," as well as in the bunkhouses of ordinary logging camps, by lower-middle-class working Americans, while they gather around the glowing woodstoves on cold winter evenings. It was from there that stories about Hillary's fantastic experience spread throughout the territory of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota. The lumberjacks heard and then retold the Hillary fables, often weaving in local or personal embellishments as they passed the tales on.
"Hillary's role in American folklore is the stuff of legend," says an independent voter who only identified himself as Comrade Otis. "This woman is amazing. I'm of a generation that grew up long ago but none of my generation can ever forget her as the inventor and captain of the hot air windwagon prairie schooner. Long before there were trains and long before there were even freeways and automobiles Hillary made the country better and more secure when she plied the flatlands, bringing the mail and commerce from shore to shore in her land-schooner. One remarkable woman."
"Comrade Otis". LOL. That is priceless.
LOL! I wanna feel bad but the good news about Fred Thompson doing so well in the polls is making it hard to wipe the smile off my face.
Ha.
roflmao... Points to the Peoples’ Cube...
America’s favorite folk hero has left the building...for a meeting with Sir Edmund.
and her campaign solgan:
We want change.....
WE sure do want change, we don’t EVER want to go back to the Klintons EVER!!!! EVER!!!! EVER!!!!
Saranghetti = Serengeti
It’s pretty hard to bake cookies at the top of Mt. Everest. Just ask Martha Stewart.........
MY HEART! IT’S....IT’S BREAKING!
BURP!
I’m fine. Down with Hillary.
She even had a blue ox, coincidentally the same color as Monica’s dress.
What? She pulled a stagecoach?
Apparently, you haven't heard: Hillary is also one of the world's top Extreme Bakers - invented the sport herself, in fact.
Where is the barf alert?
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