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MONDAY'S GREGALOGUE: STRIPPERS AND OBAMA ("Obama is like a stripper, Hillary is like your wife")
Daily Gut ^ | 1/7/2008

Posted on 01/07/2008 3:20:29 PM PST by Uncledave

So, while watching the debates over the weekend, I figured out why Obama is rising in popularity, and why Hilary is sinking like something that sinks. Obama doesn't have to do a damn thing but sit there and look pretty, and we love him. And Hilary doesn't have to do a damn thing but sit there and look constipated, and you hate her.

In a nutshell: Obama is a stripper and Hilary is your wife. Think about it. When you go to a strip club, you see the very best attributes of the stripper you're ogling. You see her curves and her implants, but you see none of her problems. You don't see her meth habit, her biker ex-boyfriend, the box of severed ears she keeps in her closet. But with your wife, you are familiar not with only the good, but with the bad. The very bad. And this is why men sometimes prefer strippers to their wives.

But, once you leave your wife and start dating a stripper - you quickly find out that she's far worse than your wife could ever be. Your wife doesn't eat her own hair, for example. If the elections were held now, Obama would probably win - which is essentially like marrying a stripper after spending a weekend with her in Vegas, doing lines off her butt. But unlike that entirely made up scenario which definitely didn't happen to me in 1992 when I had long hair and a competitive bobsled racer's physique, a quickie election can't be annulled. If you tie the knot with Obama, as shapely as he is, you're stuck with him for at least four years. And that's why I recommend ditching both of them and voting for me. I promise a unicorn in every pot and a houseboy in every bed.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir, are worse than Hitler.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: hillary; notpretty
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Amusing take on dem race, with more than a kernel of truth (not about my love of strippers, mind you!). I think the dems will be giddy buying into Obama and then wonder why he got shellacked once he starts talking liberal policy instead of "Triangulating" (TM)
1 posted on 01/07/2008 3:20:32 PM PST by Uncledave
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To: Uncledave

Take my wife...Please!


2 posted on 01/07/2008 3:24:19 PM PST by Anti-Bubba182
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To: Uncledave

Except that Obama isn’t triangulating at all.

He’s just talking about the need for change, which allows everybody to think the change will be in a direction they approve of.

The fecal material will strike the air moving device when he has to get specific.


3 posted on 01/07/2008 3:24:57 PM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: Uncledave
So, what if you're married to a stripper? (not that I am...but there *was* this one stripper in the club for my bachelor party who was obviously in love with me....)

Still trying to get the image out of my head of any politican as a stripper. Gaaaahhh!!

4 posted on 01/07/2008 3:25:03 PM PST by wbill
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To: Uncledave

“And Hilary doesn’t have to do a damn thing but sit there and look constipated, and you hate her.”

Worth repeating. Hilarious.


5 posted on 01/07/2008 3:25:24 PM PST by scottdeus12 (Jesus is real, whether you believe in Him or not.)
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To: Uncledave

Maybe Hillary is like the author’s wife, and Obama is like a stripper to him/her.


6 posted on 01/07/2008 3:25:41 PM PST by familyop ("Ah say, ah...ah say, ah...she's makin' me a little soft in the head." --Foghorn Leghorn)
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Comment #7 Removed by Moderator

To: Abbeville Conservative

You are such a hansome couple!


8 posted on 01/07/2008 3:28:53 PM PST by flaglady47
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To: flaglady47

whoops, typo: hansome = handsome above


9 posted on 01/07/2008 3:29:23 PM PST by flaglady47
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave

If the dims ever agree to a FNC hosted debate, my wish is for Red Eye’s Gutfeld to be the moderator, and he brings along Andy Levy and Bill Schulz to help ask the questions...


11 posted on 01/07/2008 3:31:56 PM PST by LRS (It's time to put Hillary on the 3:10 to Yuma...)
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To: Uncledave

That is probably an excellent analysis of the motivations of the Democrat voter.


12 posted on 01/07/2008 3:32:50 PM PST by unspun (God save us from egos -- especially our own.)
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To: Uncledave
I should also add that if I were to present my parents with a choice of me marrying Hillary! or me marrying a stripper with a bad coke habit and an ear collection....Dad would say, "Well son, at least she gets paid in one dollar bills. Think of the tax implications!"
13 posted on 01/07/2008 3:33:30 PM PST by wbill
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To: Abbeville Conservative

Well, I hope one of them has your eyes, you have very pretty eyes (now don’t blush, LOL)!


14 posted on 01/07/2008 3:34:04 PM PST by flaglady47
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To: Uncledave

Don’t think it is “wife” to which the author should refer, I believe it should be EX-wife.


15 posted on 01/07/2008 3:42:31 PM PST by madison10
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Comment #16 Removed by Moderator

To: Uncledave
more like "hillary is like your EX WIFE...."

i love red eye!

17 posted on 01/07/2008 3:42:57 PM PST by wildwood
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To: Uncledave

Obama’s not your kid’s momma. Say “no” to strange..ers.


18 posted on 01/07/2008 3:43:55 PM PST by Gritty-Kitty
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To: Uncledave
"Hillary doesn't have to do a damn thing but sit there and look constipated"

HEH!

19 posted on 01/07/2008 3:46:47 PM PST by BobS
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To: Abbeville Conservative

“They’re beautiful just the same”

I’m sure they are. Your wife is very pretty. May your kids grow up well and support you in your dotage.


20 posted on 01/07/2008 3:52:56 PM PST by flaglady47
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