Crematorium to keep mourners warm by burning bodies of loved ones

dailymail.co.uk ^ | 7 Jan 2008 | Staff

[forkinsocket]

Heat created by burning the dead at crematoria could be used to keep mourners warm under plans to make funerals more environmentally-friendly.

Instead of letting the gases emitted by cremation escape into the atmosphere, councils want to use them to heat radiators or even generate electricity.

They admit some might find the idea of being kept warm by the remains of their loved-ones macabre.

But there are thought to be no religious objections, and ever-tighter controls on pollution mean such systems could become commonplace.

[popdonnelly]

I thought that was an old Irish joke. “We cremated your uncle. He burned for three days.”

[rahbert]

depending on the fat content this might or might not yield
excess heat. fat fires tend to be sooty and clog chimneys which is why crems keep their retorts at high temps.

also makes ash recovery easier on the staff.

[Army Air Corps]

I am sorry, but that was pretty damned funny.

[exit82]

Brings a new meaning to “Put another log on the fire”.....

Of course, if they used a good looking female, well you would say “She’s really hot!”

The funeral song would be “What kind of fuel am I?”

[Rudder]

...keep mourners warm by burning bodies of loved ones.

It would more in keeping with the sensitivities of the mourners to burn their enemies instead.

[kaboom]

The fat will be used instead of sterno to warm the buffet at your wake.

[Army Air Corps]

Personally, I want my corpse shot into orbit.

[Tamar1973]

Yes, we must make funerals more environmentally friendly. Just bury them; the dusts of time will make them environmentally friendly.

Unless they pump the body full of chemicals first.

[Army Air Corps]

What, not “Burn, baby, burn”?

[Cinnamon]

next they’ll recycle the meat.

[keat]

But there are thought to be no religious objections

No religion = no religious objections. Pretty neat how that works.

[Rembrandt]

Still not warm? Throw Mama from the train into the furnace.

[exit82]

Sure, and we’ll finish with “Come on Baby Light My Fire”

[Eternal_Bear]

put a picture of a smiling Uncle Ben on the can?

[RatsDawg]

My thoughts exactly.

I guess human lampshades of our loved ones are next?

[fhayek]

I know some people who work in a tool store next to the Buffalo crematoriam. They insist that they can always tell when then burn an Italian. You can smell the garlic.

[Army Air Corps]

So, when the burners first light, will they play “Start me up”?

[Army Air Corps]

I guess human lampshades of our loved ones are next?

From the "Yikes!" product line from Ikea.

[doc1019]

Pumping bodies full of chemicals to preserve them is not my idea. When I die, dump me in a cheap wooden box, dump me in the ground … alas, he is dead.

[SIDENET]

No religion = no religious objections. Pretty neat how that works.

Not only that. Aren't these european socialist utopias going gangbusters pushing euthenasia?

Just think: free of religious objections, gets rid of people who "use more than their share" of medical resources, and is obviously WAY environmentally friendly.

I smell a brave new industry!