Roots and Wings: What's Wrong With Kids These Days?

19 January, 2008 | joanie-f

[joanie-f]

When our children were young, we had a plaque hanging on the wall of our bedroom that read:

There are two essential things you can provide your children. One is roots. The other is wings.

Roots, so that they might know from whence they came, and where they can always look for affirmation and love. And wings to provide a sense of independence, and the tools and the spirit to strive to be all that they can be.

A good friend, the contributor known as ‘First_Salute’ here on FR, recently forwarded me a Wall Street Journal article entitled, What’s Gotten into Kids These Days? In it, the author describes the growing trend among children, as young as pre-school, toward anti-social behavior, lack of self-control, irrational behaviors, anxiety and rage.

After describing such typical abnormal behaviors, and referring to several ‘expert’ opinions on the frightening nationwide trend, the author concludes with the following:

Experts' recommendations contain wisdom for parents:

• Avoid pushing your children to read, write and do math too soon, at the expense of social and emotional skills.

• Find classrooms well-equipped to handle behavior problems.

• Consider delaying your child's entry to large-group care.

• Reduce children’s stress.

• Prepare your child to control his or her own behavior, even when other children don't.

I choked on her list (as I invariably choke on most self-proclaimed ‘expert’ lists).

First_Salute, in his own commentary to me, wrote:

Little minds are so vulnerable, because in their world, digesting is really most of what they do, as they attempt to learn each new ingredient necessary for their survival, and their brain is actually still growing, being wired.

To which I say ‘Amen!’ The five ‘recommendations’ at the conclusion of the article above provide little or no insight as to the cause of a young child’s self-destructive behaviors – they simply provide superficial ways in which we adults might deal with them, after the fact -- after the wiring of the little brains has been weakly and ineffectually accomplished. I suggest that the reason the genuine causes of the poor wiring are ignored is that looking them square in the eye might either (1) make us entirely too uncomfortable, or (2) cause us, as a society, to have to personally sacrifice entirely too much in order to turn things around.

We want to provide our children the ‘wings’ without the ‘roots’ foundation. We want our children to fly without ever having received proper lessons in how to get off the ground or where their wings should find their strength.

It’s in the providing of those lessons that we, as a society, have failed miserably.

In order to provide a child a sense of ‘roots’ we ourselves must appreciate and respect from whence we came. Yet today’s modern American has little appreciation for his ancestry (Old World, New World, familial, and moral).

• We don’t care about the heroes of two centuries ago who endured more hardship than we can even imagine, yet who meticulously sculpted a moral and prosperous nation from a wild frontier.

• We don’t care about the indescribable personal sacrifices that were willingly made in order to ensure that we would be allowed to grow ‘wings’, unfettered by the iron fist of tyranny.

• We don’t care that elite tyrants – in government, academia, and entertainment -- have more say in the formation of our children’s lives and thoughts than we do. As a matter of fact, many of us are grateful that the tyrants are willing to ‘pick up the slack’. It leaves us more time for ‘more satisfying’ personal pursuits.

• We don’t care that those tyrants are telling our children that morality is situational. That ‘heroes’ sing well, or shoot baskets well, or are able to commit crimes without retribution – while names like Thomas Paine and Patrick Henry are unfamiliar to those same children’s ears.

• We don’t care that the words of the major candidates for the position of leader of the free world bear no resemblance to their deeds or ideologies. Worse yet, we are not even aware of that fact. Nor do we care that our children learn the difference between truth and deception. We cast our ballots (if we do so at all) based on ignorance and fragmented, illusory ‘information’ (as will our children).

• We don’t care that our children fill their bodies with empty calories, nutrition-less, chemical-laden prepared foods – and their minds with electronic garbage posing as entertainment/education. We don’t care that the extent of their exercise consists of walking back and forth from the computer to the refrigerator.

• We don’t care what our children are being taught. We don’t care that they are being told that they need a detailed map, provided by ‘experts’, in order to progress from Point A to Point B – that, if they needed to blaze a trail themselves, they would panic and wither away, before having set foot beyond the boundaries of familiar ground.

• We don’t care that our children have little knowledge of, or respect for, the lessons that previous generations can teach. We have taught them, through our own lack of interest in the lessons of history, that today is all that matters – that whatever material wealth they can wring out of today is what is of most value. The past is simply a boring blur, in which people who didn’t understand about the ‘good things of life’ existed -- if the past even existed at all.

• We are allowing our children to believe that self-esteem is learned rather than earned, and that taking responsibility for one’s own actions is a sign of weakness or inability to use ‘they system’ to one’s own advantage.

• We are teaching our children that they matter more than those around them, and that attaining happiness matters more than the means used in its pursuit.

• Over the past four decades, our homes have grown larger and our backyards have grown smaller. We have no time to maintain a large yard, and no more games are played there anymore. Electronics do no perform well in tall grass.

• Over the past four decades, family meals have dwindled down to each member grabbing what passes for 'nutrition' on his way out the door or up to his own bedroom to communicate with his ‘internet family’.

• Over the past four decades, the concept of ‘morality’, as taught by family example and discussion, and the invoking of scriptural truths, has evolved into the striving for politically-correct diversity, multiculturalism and tolerance – during which the scriptural concepts of good and evil, truth and falsehood have become passé.

The ‘experts’ believe that, in order to provide our children the focus necessary to reclaim who they are, we must expect less of them, adapt to their ‘it takes a village’ environment, and impose upon them a myriad of other escapist politically-correct strategies -- as evidenced by the advice in the above-referenced article, and countless others that attempt to impose their will upon us every day. They would have us put a tainted band-aid on our children’s wounds, and then send them back out to play in traffic.

Our children’s roots are shallow and weak.

One cannot climb a ladder at all if the bottom rung is rotten. The ladder we have provided our children is no longer worth climbing. They will either fail at the first feeble rung, or they will be horrified at what they find at the top. And we have no one to blame but ourselves.

~ joanie
Allegiance and Duty Betrayed

[EternalVigilance]

Sadly, our “leaders” have given us over into the hands of the godless media.

They can’t handle the truth. It exposes them.

[EternalVigilance]

Or, even worse, they want to hear the truth, like some sweet melody they’re fond of, but then steadfastly refuse to make their actions correspond to that truth.

I’ve seen exactly that in this election cycle.

[EternalVigilance]

By the way, when it comes to Dr. Keyes, in this election, access has most definitely been denied. In a very thorough-going way.

[Bigun]

Or, even worse, they want to hear the truth, like some sweet melody they’re fond of, but then steadfastly refuse to make their actions correspond to that truth.

By the way, when it comes to Dr. Keyes, in this election, access has most definitely been denied. In a very thorough-going way.

I know that you are right on both counts EV but we must deal with reality as it exists not as we wish it were.

Dr. Keyes is a BRILLIANT man whom most people regard a preacher. They don't want to hear his message because it is painful to them and sadly, the TRUTH is he has NO chance of ever being elected to anything.

[processing please hold]

Great piece, joanie-f.

Provide them with a strong conservative Christian block on which to stand backed up by what our forefathers had to sacrifice when building this great country and they will be armed to withstand the onslaught of leftist liberal traitors nestled within our government and country. Then pray.

[joanie-f]

If I have learned ONE thing in my public life it is that when you hear someone shouting "TRUTH! TRUTH! Tell me the truth!" what they REALLY mean is tell me what I want to hear and CALL it the truth!

An excellent point.

I have also noticed that, when talking with a generally uninformed friend or acquaintance about what is happening to America, quite often they are enrapt and astounded at the truth that the 'powers that be' are hiding. Yet, although they walk away upset about the ruse that is being perpetrated on the American people, they don't follow up.

If we are willing to spoon-feed the average American the truth, he is often willing to comprehend it, and often disgusted that much of it is being covered up. But he is not willing to continue to do the research himself, even when provided avenues of research.

The desire to be spoon-fed is the reason the mainstream media, the entertainment industry, and leftist-controlled academia possess so much power. Most Americans do not have access to individual conservatives who have done their homework and are willing to consitentely share the results. Thus the value of conservative blogs, and forums like this one.

~ joanie

[joanie-f]

Provide them with a strong conservative Christian block on which to stand backed up by what our forefathers had to sacrifice when building this great country and they will be armed to withstand the onslaught of leftist liberal traitors nestled within our government and country. Then pray.

Bears repeating.

[Bigun]

Most Americans do not have access to individual conservatives who have done their homework and are willing to consitentely share the results. Thus the value of conservative blogs, and forums like this one.

Which is why I promote this place EVERY chance I get!

I'm not sure that even Jim Robinson realizes the REAL value of this place.

[mommadooo3]

THANK YOU

My kids have been homeschooled most of their lives. The past couple years they've been 'public schooled'. There has NOT been a day where they have not BEGGED me to homeschool again. NOT because they dislike the idea of getting up, bussing, going out to a building......but BECAUSE they can't stand the disgusting behaviors and scholastic laziness of the other kids.Every day they come home and tell me what wrong which kid did.

HMMPH...maybe I actually taught them something right. Something that the NEA won't allow them to be taught in school.(you know their mantra,'there is no right',there is no wrong,there are no moral absolutes.)

Thank you again,joanie

[joanie-f]

It sounds as though you did indeed 'teach them something right'. :)

While it's sad that your children have to be subjected to the 'disgusting behaviors' so prevalent in public schools (and I'm afraid those behaviors are the norm rather than the exception these days), it's gratifying to know that they see those behaviors from the right perspective ... and always will.

Your children may even turn out to be 'reformers' as they mature. But, even if not, they will serve as an example for others whose parents were not willing to commit the time to provide their children a sound moral basis from which to deal with the world around them

God bless you!

~ joanie
Allegiance and Duty Betrayed

[Jakarta ex-pat]

We blame the kids when it's really the adults;

as we blame the illegals when it's really the politicians who let them in.

[Minuteman23]

Thanks for the ping, Joanie. As usual, you’ve scored a bull’s eye, a sad and frightening editorial on the future of our country.

[wintertime]

ping for later

[wintertime]

These days, on cable television especially, there is some excellent programming (for example, we saw an absolutely spellbinding program called ‘Absolute Zero and the Conquest of Cold’ on PBS this week) that would be both fascinating and educational for American children – much moreso than what passes for ‘public education’ anymore.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thankfully, we now have Netflicks.

Anything worthwhile on cable or TV is eventually available on DVD through Netflicks. They come in the mail. It’s very cheap, and very convenient.

Our family found that there was more available for free from our local library than we had time to watch.

There really is no need to have TV in the home. Our kids are raised now. We didn’t have TV when they were growing up, and we still don’t have it.

[wintertime]

I need to go back and re-read “1984”.

[wintertime]

when I occasionally come across a gifted student who is not performing up to his or her ability, I will tell him/her,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Joanie-f,

Are you a teacher in a government school? Just wondering?

[Centurion2000]

bump

[SoftballMominVA]

Wonderful insights Joanie.

May I be so bold as to elaborate and expand on one of your points?

Parents of the boomer years gave up on their responsibility to give their children spiritual roots. They look back on their days of sitting in the pew with disgust and a claim to allow their children to choose what they believe when they are adults. Unfortunately with no religious training at all, these children flounder and search for a higher power - but reject Christianity due to their parents disdain. The grandchildren of great Christians turn to forms of paganism, instead of the faith of their fathers. Some parents are aghast, but should they be? The parents neglected the spiritual education in favor of sleeping in on Sundays, and personal enjoyment.

All human beings have within them an innate desire to find purpose and meaning beyond the here and now. Parents who all their children to choose should not be surprised when the choices show no resemblance to the parent's beliefs.

Awesome list and insights.

[joanie-f]

You have FR mail.

[valkyrieanne]

What is this business about "the right preschool" anyway? Many of these children are too young for all-day preschool. Even kindergarten isn't play anymore; it's all forced academics. (Thank you, Every Child Left Behind.) Even many articles on homeschooling seem to push only the academic aspects ("Homeschool and you too will have a Super Genius Kid!")

The point is, children need sheltered time to be children. There is plenty of time for academics later - IF the child has been nurtured, cared for, allowed to explore and develop at his own pace. Too many people dump their kids into all-day preschools as an alternative to day care, and then wonder why the kids have problems.