Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Idiot sightings

Posted on 02/05/2008 8:56:18 AM PST by Gopher Broke

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING : I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrat; humor; idiot
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-24 next last

1 posted on 02/05/2008 8:56:22 AM PST by Gopher Broke
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

With all of the fighting about politics & everything else, it is good to take a humor break!


2 posted on 02/05/2008 8:59:14 AM PST by TMSuchman (American by birth Rebel by choice, MARINE by act of GOD!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

With all of the fighting about politics & everything else, it is good to take a humor break!


3 posted on 02/05/2008 8:59:32 AM PST by TMSuchman (American by birth Rebel by choice, MARINE by act of GOD!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

Tell all these idots that you come across “Here’s your sign”


4 posted on 02/05/2008 9:00:37 AM PST by Poetgal26 (God bless the US Military and our allies!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

I needed a laugh...good on ya for posting this!


5 posted on 02/05/2008 9:00:43 AM PST by kimmie7 (this year i will turn ffff....ffo........foooort.........i can't say it. i'll just be 20. twice.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TMSuchman

Sorry about that, durn computer is acting up today. Must be a loose nut between the keyboard & the chair...lol at myself


6 posted on 02/05/2008 9:00:47 AM PST by TMSuchman (American by birth Rebel by choice, MARINE by act of GOD!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

Excellent! I’m relieved to know that I’m not the only one who sees idiots on a nearly-daily basis.

Zippy the Pinhead sez: “It’s a nation of pinheads.”


7 posted on 02/05/2008 9:05:23 AM PST by EggsAckley
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

>IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, “you gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s. <

I’ve had those on some occasions.

One time my total for the meal was $6.15. Gave the McD “clerk” (looks 15 yrs old) $7.15...told her specifically “that dollar in 4 quarters PLEASE”...

She looked at the register like she saw the devil (for 30 seconds) and stared at me like she was about to cry. She went back and spoke to the supervisor about her math problem.

I feel sorry for that kid’s math teacher. So much wasted effort.


8 posted on 02/05/2008 9:06:46 AM PST by max americana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke
When my daughter was in 4th grade she made a small purchase at a store ($.98) and handed the woman $1.03. The lady was in full blown panic mode because she didn't know what to do.

My daughter was astounded-"and she was a grownup and everything!"

9 posted on 02/05/2008 9:09:09 AM PST by Mygirlsmom (One of my fears is McCain will lose in Nov. The other is that he will WIN)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

Idiot Sighting: Hello? Tech Support? My computer isn’t working. Is it plugged in? I don’t know. Let me get a flash light. Why do I need a flash light? I can’t see the plug. The electricity is off.


10 posted on 02/05/2008 10:30:58 AM PST by BubbaBasher (WWW.TWFRED08.COM)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

I actually saw a pHD in electrical engineering do this. Compounded it by berating the IT guy too. Wel called the good Dr. "Squirrel Boy".

11 posted on 02/05/2008 10:36:55 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

Gosh ... and these examples don’t involve any of the increasingly ubiquitous non-English speakers.

I have my own example to add.

Several years ago I was with three fellow computer programmers who visited a local bar for a beer or two. We ordered three Budweisers and one Miller.

The waitress brought them and said: “Who ordered a Budweiser?” Someone raised his hand and took the bottle.

The waitress then asked: “Who got a Budweiser?” The second bottle was taken.

This time the waitress asked: “Who gets this Budweiser?” and then passed it over.

She never asked who wanted ordered the Miller — she took a chance and gave it to the guy without a beer.


12 posted on 02/05/2008 11:14:57 AM PST by gjeiii
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TMSuchman
Sorry about that, durn computer is acting up today. Must be a loose nut between the keyboard & the chair...lol at myself

We in the industry call it PICNIC (Problem in chair, not in computer). I have to apply that to myself often.

13 posted on 02/05/2008 11:28:49 AM PST by CougarGA7 (Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

I had an idiot sighting at a drive thru myself once. Now I’ll be nice and not mention the franchise’s name, but they serve Jamoca shakes.

We had a large order since it was my wife and I and 4 kids, so minor errors are almost expected. Here’s generally what we ordered.

2 regular size meal deals.
4 kids meals.

Here is what they tried to give us when we got to the window.

4 X-large orange drinks (no one even order orange anything)
1 Beef and cheddar sandwich.

I told the guy, “You couldn’t possibly get this order more wrong” in which he asked. “Oh, did you have curly fries?”


14 posted on 02/05/2008 11:40:54 AM PST by CougarGA7 (Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke; Slings and Arrows

lolz


15 posted on 02/05/2008 11:43:21 AM PST by KoRn (CTHULHU '08 - I won't settle for a lesser evil any longer!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke
I have several “Idiot sightings” all true.

I asked a lady at a Burger King to “cut the onions” on my burger. She disappeared. She came back with a piece of burger wrapper in her hands, chopped onions piled on it. “Is this okay, sir?” I gave her a $100 bill on the spot. She’s now my secretary. Her name is Esther.

This one isn’t so much of an “idiot sighting” as it is a “bless her heart” kind of thing.

My Aunt Vera sent me a package last August with a note that said “Happy Holidays”. What “holidays”? I don’t know. Inside was a plastic bag full of fudge and a ball of aluminum foil. WTF? I don’t know. The first piece of fudge was divine. The next piece almost made me vomit. It was cram packed with corn chips. WTF? Again, I don’t know. I called her to thank her for the gift. She admitted that she’d run out of pecans and decided to use corn chips instead. The ball of foil turned out to be a hard boiled egg, sloppily wrapped in foil. She didn’t remember the egg.

Now, Aunt Vera is 86 years old and has always loved her booze. Maybe that explains it. But the thought was nice.

16 posted on 02/05/2008 12:31:56 PM PST by Jaysun (It's outlandishly inappropriate to suggest that I'm wrong.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke
and the scary part is that they VOTE

yeah... for the Democrats...

17 posted on 02/05/2008 12:38:42 PM PST by John123 ("What good fortune for the governments that the people do not think" -- Adolf Hitler)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

Like I always say, humanity wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for all the people!


18 posted on 02/05/2008 1:52:59 PM PST by SkiKnee (It snows, therefore I ski.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke

IDIOT SIGHTING: A person went into a polling booth and for vote for McCain.


19 posted on 02/05/2008 1:55:28 PM PST by Scythian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gopher Broke
... The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

I did the same thing recently at a local Safeway. The clerk was completely confused and said he'd have to ask the manager if it was ok.

20 posted on 02/05/2008 2:00:15 PM PST by TankerKC (I tried to find more Nixon.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-24 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson