Posted on 02/17/2008 12:31:35 PM PST by SJackson
A higher power has been sending me messages about the race for president. I'm not talking about God, although he is said to work in mysterious ways.
No, the wise and mystic communicator advising me -- and, by extension, you -- on whom to vote for in Wisconsin 's primary Tuesday is Spell Check, that invaluable computer function that flags misspelled words.
I started noticing unmistakable messages springing from Spell Check's intelligent design after Thursday's rally for GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Over and over again, Spell Check suggested I substitute the word "huggable " for Huckabee.
• Hands cartoon: Bill shovels for Hillary • Huckabee right -- power is yours • Milfred: McCain and Obama bank on Wisconsin • Wisconsin deserves a debate
The former Arkansas governor certainly gave and got plenty of hugs at his Madison appearance. The disarming preacher offers pleasant hints of Mister Rogers, Ward Cleaver and Gomer Pyle.
So should I embrace Huckabee on Tuesday at the polls? Or was my computer suggesting a warm and fuzzy facade with little else to offer?
These vision quests can be confusing.
Spell Check's only other alternative to Huckabee 's name was "Hatchable."
Will Wisconsin hatch a miracle comeback for Huckabee against the GOP 's near-nominee John McCain? I doubt it. Huckabee's campaign is more likely to lay an egg.
That's because when Spell Check came upon McCain's last name, it offered a telling alternative: "Machine." Yes, the McCain political machine seems to have wrapped things up.
Still, I feel obliged to inform conservatives about the shocking alternatives Spell Check gave for failed GOP candidate Mitt Romney's last name: "Romeo" (I never found him that charming, myself), "Ronnie" (Wow! So Romney was the true heir to Reagan) and "Rummy" (Another Donald Rumsfeld? No thanks).
Spell Check skipped right past Hillary Clinton's last name because, I suspect, her husband 's presidency made "Clinton" a recognizable word. Yet the same computer program wanted to substitute "hallway" for Hillary.
Could this means Wisconsin's primary represents narrow passage to the nomination? Or is the great and mighty Spell Check suggesting Wisconsin show Hillary the door?
Another suggestion was "holler," which Clinton seems plenty capable of. "Holler" also can mean "hollow," never a good trait for a politician or platform.
Obama's name came up as "abeam." As in a beam of light? To show us the way? Other pleasant alternatives were "abloom " and "balmy." Yet one of the final suggestions was "banal" -- suggesting his shine may dull.
I 'm still confused. Before I vote for either McCain or Obama on Tuesday, I'm going to run the candidates' stump speeches through Grammar Check, just to be safe.
Thank goodness George Bush isn't running again. He 'd probably crash my computer.
Cute!
MSWord gave me Chicadee for Huckabee and Osama for Obama. No options for Clinton, Hillary, Bush or McCain,
Note post 3, Osama for Obama. For his sake he should hope MSWord users don’t vote.
This is as dumb humor-wise as google bombing.
LOL!
The OS X spell checker suggests “moccasin” for McCain, “Abeam” for O’bama, and “hackable” for Huckabee. Both “Hillary” and “Clinton” are assumed correct.
Not really.
Whatever.
;9)
Cute chicken, no thanks to the beer.
The chicken was on his way to a party on the Undead Thread :-).
Have a nice day!
What is the undead thread?
Obama's outdoors credentials are unknown.
I'll take the beer.
You want to hear something sad? I am allergic to both beer and chocolate.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1962879/posts
The Undead Thread is a FR social event which has been going on since June of 2004. We’re celebrating something today, and we needed a chicken.
Sorry you can’t drink beer! I don’t really care for it, myself.
The thought of Barack Osama in the outdoors is pretty funny!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.