New children's book takes on mommy's plastic surgery

Bypassing the easy reference, highlighting the Sidra question, I humbly submit the following:

AUDREY: So, what did you think?

GEORGE: About the pizza?

AUDREY: No, about the nose job.

GEORGE: Oh, the nose job. I don't know, what did you think?

AUDREY: Well, I've thought about it, but I don't know.

GEORGE: Yeah. (another pause) Not that I care, one way or the other, but these doctors today really do amazing things, you know, if you were so inclined. And again, I'm not suggesting.

AUDREY: I know, they're good.

GEORGE: Peter Jennings had one.

AUDREY: Really?

GEORGE: Probably. They all do. In my high school, half my graduating class had them. Of course, I'm from Long Island, so...

AUDREY: Uh huh.

GEORGE: It's really nothing, it's like going to the dentist.

AUDREY: I hate the dentist.

GEORGE: It's a cleaning.

AUDREY: So you really think I should do this?

GEORGE: If it makes you happy, I don't focus on these things. I will tell you this: Unfortunately, we live in a very superficial society. I don't condone it, but it's a fact of life.

AUDREY: Well, maybe I should.

GEORGE: What the hell.

ELAINE: (barging in) Aw, now you talked her into getting a nose job?

GEORGE: Me? I didn't say anything.

ELAINE: You encouraged her to get one.

GEORGE: I didn't encourage. No encourage.

ELAINE: Peter Jennings had one?

GEORGE: It's possible.

ELAINE: Well, I think you should accept her for who she is.

AUDREY: No, George is right. I want to get one.

ELAINE: I think it's a mistake.

GEORGE: Me too, really. Unless you'd really like to get one.

________STANDARD DISCLAIMER________
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.

This supersedes all previous notices.

SUPER STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking. Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Copyright © 1995 Joker’s Wild. Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not allow use by Democrats unless accompanied by someone with more than a double digit IQ. Do not place near flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided “as is” without any warranties expressed or implied. Don’t quote me on anything. Don’t quote me on that. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. Falling rock. First pull up, then pull down. Flames redirected to /dev/null. For a limited time only. For external use only. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross or other screwy scams. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear, but I don’t care. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these may be hazardous to your health. Some assembly required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Subject to FCC approval. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my rabbit. You need not be present to win. This is not an offer to sell securities. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. A “toy Yoda” should not be confused with a Toyota. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated are. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You must be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


No amateurs, please. Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists