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Townhall.com ^ | May 8, 2008 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 05/08/2008 3:34:06 AM PDT by Kaslin

Well, it looks like it's the end of the road for Hillary. Time for her to pack up her pantsuits and go back to ... wherever it is she's pretending to be living these days. Now we just have to get rid of the other two. Perhaps if I endorse Obama ...

This week, Bill Clinton lost his second presidential election for a protege.

Ronald Reagan was so popular, he not only won a 49-state landslide re-election for himself, but he also won a symbolic third term for his boob of a vice president, George Herbert Walker Bush (who immediately blew it by breaking his own "no new taxes" pledge).

By contrast, in addition to not being able to get half the country to vote for him in two tries, Clinton's connection to any other presidential candidate spells utter doom. Both his vice president and his wife have been defeated in elections they should have won, but lost because of their unfortunate association with him. The country has spoken. It wants to be rid of the Clintons.

The reason two elections in recent history -- the 2000 presidential election and the 2008 Democratic primary -- were razor-close is that in both cases there was some strange, foreboding, otherworldly force dragging down the presumptive winner.

Clinton's vice president, Al Gore, lost an election that should have been his in a walk. In fact, he was the first incumbent president or vice president in 100 years to lose an election in peacetime with a good economy. Mind you, that was before we even knew that Gore was a deranged conspiracy theorist who believes the Earth is in serious peril from cow flatulence.

What was the mystery factor to explain such a historic loss?

The media's pollsters may have lied to the public about Clinton's vaunted popularity, but Gore's pollsters got paid not to lie to him. And they told Gore the truth: Clinton was killing him.

After the election, Gore pollster -- and erstwhile Clinton pollster -- Stanley Greenberg told Vanity Fair magazine that if Clinton had helped, he said he would have "had Bill Clinton carry Al Gore around on his back." (This was when one man could still actually carry Al Gore on his back.) But research showed that whenever Clinton was mentioned, Gore's numbers went down faster than -- oh, never mind.

Steve Rosenthal, political director of the AFL-CIO, also blamed Clinton for Gore's loss, saying polls showed that voters who cared about character voted for Bush. (I know, I know. Are there actually people who care about character and vote Democrat? Yes, apparently they exist.)

Poor Gore did everything he could to distance himself from Clinton, publicly criticizing Clinton's sexual exploits with an intern, refusing to allow Clinton to campaign with him and taking as his vice president Joe Lieberman -- the first Democratic senator to scathingly denounce Clinton's antics with Lewinsky from the Senate floor.

But voters couldn't forget Gore's boss, the purple-faced lecher.

As election predictors go, the Dow Jones has been remarkably accurate. If the Dow goes up from the end of July to the end of October, the incumbent president or vice president wins; if it goes down, the incumbent loses. It has been wrong only four times since the Dow was created in 1896.

Thus, on Nov. 1, 2000, an article in The New York Times began: "The verdict of the Dow Jones industrial average is in, and it says Al Gore is headed for the White House."

And yet Gore lost. It was only the third time in more than a century that the Dow went up in the three months before the election and the incumbent lost. The two other times were: (1) Herbert Hoover in the middle of the Great Depression, and (2) Hubert Humphrey in the middle of the Vietnam War. (The only time the Dow went down and the incumbent won anyway was for popular Dwight Eisenhower.)

So we have documented proof: Americans rank Bill Clinton with national misfortunes on the order of the Great Depression and the Vietnam War. (This, of course, is an overreaction: The Great Depression wasn't that bad.)

And now Bill Clinton has wrecked Hillary's campaign, too. He's like the creepy guy who graduated last year but still hangs around the high school cafeteria chatting up sophomores.

In a Time magazine poll taken earlier this year, more than twice as many voters said Bill Clinton's involvement in Hillary's campaign made them less likely to vote for her as said they were more likely to vote for her. (Some even said that "having Bill Clinton around makes me less likely to vote for What's-Her-Name." One-third of the respondents were upset Bill didn't call the next day, like he promised.)

So before remembering that we are now left with two dangerous choices for president -- a young liberal who is friendly with terrorists or an old liberal who is friendly with Teddy Kennedy -- take a moment to revel in the fact that our long national nightmare is over. It turns out getting rid of the Clintons was the change we've been waiting for.


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1 posted on 05/08/2008 3:34:06 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Ouch! Better put some ice on that...


2 posted on 05/08/2008 3:39:29 AM PDT by chadwimc (Proud to be an infidel ! Allah fubar !!!)
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To: Kaslin
that was before we even knew that Gore was a deranged conspiracy theorist who believes the Earth is in serious peril from cow flatulence
Great line. Here's to all you Cow Flatulence Worshippers out there.
3 posted on 05/08/2008 3:44:55 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: Kaslin
I do so love her writing style; more rapier than broadsword.

I think she is a little early; it is over when Hillary throws in the towel, and she hasn't yet.

4 posted on 05/08/2008 3:46:28 AM PDT by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
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To: Kaslin
So before remembering that we are now left with two dangerous choices for president -- a young liberal who is friendly with terrorists or an old liberal who is friendly with Teddy Kennedy -- take a moment to revel in the fact that our long national nightmare is over. It turns out getting rid of the Clintons was the change we've been waiting for.
Excellent wrap-up to a very amusing piece.

I wonder if McCain is too old for swimming lessons. His mentor is a past champion.

5 posted on 05/08/2008 3:48:54 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: samtheman
how they see cows:


6 posted on 05/08/2008 3:51:46 AM PDT by the invisib1e hand (I'm over it.)
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To: Kaslin

A real Clinton fan, I see.

If the Clinton factor really did defeat Al Gore, it might be the most beneficial thing he ever did.


7 posted on 05/08/2008 3:53:56 AM PDT by Nipfan
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To: Jimmy Valentine

Better yet is that the scorned woman goes back to her socialist constituents in NY and they can watch for the next 20 years while she and Billy Bob use their state as their private but free ATM machine. All withdrawals and no deposits. In the senate, I predict that if BO gets elected she could be his worst nightmare.


8 posted on 05/08/2008 3:54:50 AM PDT by doosee
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To: Kaslin
The country has spoken. It wants to be rid of the Clintons.

Yep.
9 posted on 05/08/2008 3:55:09 AM PDT by advance_copy (Stand for life or nothing at all)
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To: Jimmy Valentine
it is over when Hillary throws in the towel, and she hasn't yet.
She can hold onto the towel for as long as she wants. She can take it home with her as a sweaty souvenir. But the fact is, she doesn't have the votes. And unless she kills Obama or comes up with something a lot worse than Wright, she isn't going to get them.

It's over, Hillary. O - V - E - R.

No soup for you!

10 posted on 05/08/2008 3:57:30 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: Kaslin
"He's like the creepy guy who graduated last year but still hangs around the high school cafeteria chatting up sophomores."

Hehhehheh.

11 posted on 05/08/2008 3:59:55 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Bill Clinton: Life Member of the Liars' Club.)
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To: samtheman
Her flying monkeys are still in the fight.

There is nothing she will not do to win the nomination.

NOTHING

12 posted on 05/08/2008 4:00:31 AM PDT by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
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To: Kaslin

For one thing, she not gone, she’ll never be gone. Until we have an election in November, and Hillary’s name isn’t on the ballot, then I’ll believe it. She could get nomination at the convention by convincing and/or blackmailing the super-delegates. Obama could get the nomination and suddenly quit due to family or health reasons. He may get hit by a bolt of lightning before November.

And if none of that happens, and Obama gets beaten by McCain, the day after the election, Hillary will start running for 2012.


13 posted on 05/08/2008 4:04:52 AM PDT by Big E
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To: Kaslin
RULES!!!!


14 posted on 05/08/2008 4:08:13 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Kaslin
Well, it looks like it's the end of the road for Hillary. Time for her to pack up her pantsuits and go back to ... wherever it is she's pretending to be living these days. Now we just have to get rid of the other two. Perhaps if I endorse Obama ...

LOL! Say what you want about Ann but she knows self-deprecating humour!

15 posted on 05/08/2008 4:20:47 AM PDT by Witch-king of Angmar
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To: Kaslin

It is interesting to ponder: if the Dems (leadership, Gore, Hillary) had done the right thing and thrown Bubba over the side during impeachment when all of his criminality was made known, Al Gore would have followed him as president and probably won two terms on his own (9+ years as President Al!)...

And wife Hillary would have left Bubba in disgrace, gotten all the sympathy vote and been elected senator of NY... And then she would have been in the perfect position to go on for the Dem nomination and coronation in 2008. Hey Dems: was saving Bubba from the disgrace that he so fervently deserved worth it?


16 posted on 05/08/2008 4:23:36 AM PDT by ReleaseTheHounds ("The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.")
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To: Big E

She’ll need nothing short of a miracle to have any chance of winning in 2012. That and “arkanciding” Bill.


17 posted on 05/08/2008 4:24:11 AM PDT by Witch-king of Angmar
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To: ReleaseTheHounds
Hey Dems: was saving Bubba from the disgrace that he so fervently deserved worth it?

I think they would all answer with a resounding NO today.

18 posted on 05/08/2008 4:42:31 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: ReleaseTheHounds
It is interesting to ponder: if the Dems (leadership, Gore, Hillary) had done the right thing and thrown Bubba over the side during impeachment when all of his criminality was made known, Al Gore would have followed him as president and probably won two terms on his own (9+ years as President Al!)...

You are forgetting 9/11. Or do you think 9/11 would not have happened if Gore had become President? If you do then you are illusional. Also if Gore had been President, not only would we have had one attack but 2 or maybe even three, before he would have woken up and realized that we were attacked

19 posted on 05/08/2008 4:48:15 AM PDT by Kaslin (Peace is the aftermath of victory)
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To: ReleaseTheHounds

I often ponder the vitriol some on this board have for those pubbies who voted against xxx42’s conviction: these Senators kept us from a President Algore and the very result you outlined. And that was before we knew how deranged he was, LOLOL! Maybe, just maybe, they knew something about the character of Algore (or viewed the political future in a manner) that we did not, and voted accordingly?


20 posted on 05/08/2008 4:48:37 AM PDT by alwaysconservative (Procrastinate NOW!)
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