Schedule of Events for Day One of DNC

[BulletBobCo]

Here is the schedule for day one of the DNC that was emailed to me.

• 7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning, (U.S., U.K. and Israeli flags will be in attendance.)
• 7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N. and the future "One World Government."
• 7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Back-up chants provided by the local Wiccan Organization.

• 7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging. A fake Oak tree will be provided.
• 7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 8:00 pm ~ A Speech given by Al Gore on "How I Invented the Internet." Expecting a possible run-over as the Goracle is expected to blend this with Global Warming.
• 8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning, Barney Frank presiding.
• 8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 8:40 pm ~ "Our Troops are War Criminals," speech given by John Kerry and Jane Fonda.
• 9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon will deliver the eulogies of these Heroic figures.
• 9:50 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 10:00 pm ~ 'Answering Machine Etiquette' by residing expert, Alec Baldwin.
• 10:20 pm ~ The New "Drive Thru Abortion Express Lanes," being installed at Planned Parenthood franchises across the nation. Cecile Richards speaking.
• 11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund to be sponsored by Barbara Streisand.
• 11:15 pm ~ "Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay" announcement by Sean Penn.
• 11:30 pm ~ "Oval Office Affairs. The proper use of cigars," brought to you by William Jefferson Clinton.
• 11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 11:50 pm ~ "How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers," by Howard Dean and Rosie O'Donnell. Dean will perform his trademark scream for the crowd.
• 12:15 am ~ 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Sir Dan Rather by Michael Moore will be simulcast from the Magical, Mystical World of Journalistic Knights.
• 12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud will briefly discuss the dhimmitudal role of the great satan.
• 12:45 am ~ Nomination of Barack Hussein Obama by Nancy Pelosi. Address will be fed live via satellite from Syrian President Assad's hot tub.
• 1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 1:05 am ~ Coronation of Barack Hussein Obama
• 1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home. Billy reminds him to use the route through Chappaquiddick.

[South40]

Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

lol!

[rawcatslyentist]

• 7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N. and the future "One World Government."

Jorge and Juan will attend this function!

[GregB]

That’s great!!!!!! More More!!!!!!

[Past Your Eyes]

An oldie and a goodie.

[max americana]

LOL! Funny yet scary.

[South40]

Here is Juan and Jorge's flag.

[forYourChildrenVote4Bush]

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Barack Hussein Obama
1:06 am ~ Osama calls Obama from a cave with congratulations

[GregB]

Day 2-Berry realizes his mistake and call Biden and says NOT!!!!!Then call Hillary and asks her to be his VP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GOP_Lady]

How about a “theme song” to go along with your outstanding list? :-)

[BulletBobCo]

How about a “theme song” to go along with your outstanding list? :-)

Here ya go.....

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms and keep it company
I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
"Ah, peace throughout the land"
(That's the song I hear)
I'd like to teach the world to sing (that the world sings today)
In perfect harmony
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves

[The Hound Passer]

You forgot to include Joe Biden’s humble acceptance speech*

*as given by Neil Kinnock circa 1983, but, shhh don’t tell anyone that part.

[Theresawithanh]

LOL! Glad to see this again, it’s hilarious!

This will be Ted Kennedy’s last convention, so I expect they’ll give him whatever role he is well enough to handle. I hear tell he gets to introduce Osama -er, ahhh, er - Obama.

[umgud]

This is so believable, that it is hard guess whether it’s for real or not.

[Tennessee Nana]

Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.
________________________________________

Would have been even funnier as ...

Barak Obama asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

[185JHP]

A ceremony: Mockery of the Industrious and Upright. A speech by Janean Garofalo about the nature of Conservatives.

[chainsaw]

1:06 am ~ Osama calls Obama from a cave with congratulations

I have it on good authority that Obama will roll the stone away form the entrance of Osama’s cave at midnight.

[SERE_DOC]

8:40 pm ~ "Our Troops are War Criminals," speech given by John Kerry and Jane Fonda.

Guest traitor Speaker, Murtha (C) Pennsylvania

C = coward

[Professional Engineer]

ROFLMAO