Posted on 02/03/2009 8:10:33 AM PST by Kaslin
When I heard about the possibility that the terrorist detention camp at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base (Gitmo) will move to Alcatraz Island in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, I got excited. Ideas from economic stimuli to renewed patriotism started flooding my mind.
Here are the top 10 reasons I believe Gitmo should be moved to Alcatraz:
10. D-Block. Not the hip-hop group, but the row of solitary confinement cells at Alcatraz. Need I say more? (Of course, "Gitmo and the Golden Gates" might make a hit rap song, too.)
9. It is rumored that "Dirty Harry" (Clint Eastwood's notoriously tough San Francisco cop character) still roams the streets with his .44 Magnum. Would terrorists really try to escape if he were across the bay? Do they feel that lucky? Well, do they?
8. It would give Congress something better on which to spend those hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout money than the absolute waste of more Wall Street bonuses and partisan pork.
7. My buddy the Governator needs a bailout, and the new "Hasta la Vista, Alcatraz" tour could be a gigantic boost for California tourism.
6. It's about time for a sequel to "Escape From Alcatraz," called "Bet Your A-- That You Better Stay on 'The Rock.'"
5. Tony Bennett wants to produce his new smash single, "I Left My Terrorist in San Francisco."
4. The only text in the prison library and school would be my latest book, "Black Belt Patriotism -- How to Reawaken America," with daily memory tests to see whether the detainees can recite the appendices containing the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Ten Commandments.
3. Because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., was a big advocate for Gitmo's closing and seeing as her district includes Alcatraz Island, let her deal with its aftermath. Pelosi even could help guard the captives with binoculars from her San Francisco high-rise.
2. Recently commuted border agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean need new jobs and are willing to train and head up Alcatraz's new team of correctional officers.
1. I'm volunteering to be the new warden, and I pledge to make "The Rock" a Chucktatorship.
Are you with me?
All joking aside, remember when America was known as being tough and compassionate? Will we now polarize from waterboarding to being pantywaists?
Do most really believe it makes sense to shut down Gitmo for world adulation, while we possibly put Americans at greater risk by relocating these jihadists within our borders?
Is Time magazine serious when it suggests six possible domestic military facilities, from New York City to San Diego, as the new home for these enemies of the state?
Was Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., serious when he told Fox News last week that he'd offer his own district as a future dwelling place for the 245 Gitmo terrorist detainees? He said: "Sure, I'd take them. They're no more dangerous in my district than in Guantanamo. … There's no reason not to put them in prisons in the United States and handle them the way they would handle any other prisoners."
Do Americans really want terrorists -- such as Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11 -- on our soil?!
In Robert Spencer's excellent new book, "Stealth Jihad," he documents well how radical Islam is subverting America via intentional and pervasive subtleties throughout our culture. Rather than crashing into our buildings with planes, they're breaking down every stratum of society using our tolerance and passivity. Rather than overpowering America through combat, they are influencing Americans of all ages by saturating the soils of our minds that there is nothing to fear from extreme Islam's theology or presence. We've shifted from protecting Americans to defending the terrorists. Our universally accommodative spirit literally is opening the doors for those who seek to destroy us, and Gitmo is just more proof of that.
While we worry about the way the rest of the world sees us, we are stomping upon the souls of Americans. Have we forgotten so quickly? Can our politicians not see? Have we lost our 9/11 minds? Gitmo's closing and future relocation reflects upon the families and friends of those precious souls who sacrificed everything on the battlefields of the Middle East, in the Twin Towers, on Flight 93 and at the Pentagon. We've memorialized their sacrifices; let's not bury their memory.
America has lots of deep, abandoned hard rock shaft mines that would make superb maximum security prisons. And no worries about overcrowding, just mine more cells. One prisoner in each.
If you dig deep enough, the temperature should be a constant 80F.
Put’em to work drilling for oil!
Hahahahaha
My wife and I spent part of our honeymoon touring Alcatraz in 1989. It’s beautiful this time of year! I think it would be a nice surprise for the “detainees”!
Yes, but we all know that the U.S. Constitution is just a speed bump in many politician’s eyes. Notice I said many but not all.
I vote for the rim of Mt Redoubt in Alaska.
Not Golden Gate Park--it's one of my favorite places in the city, and it contains a beautiful Japanese garden. How about putting them up in a boarding house in SOMA?
I visited Alcatraz in 1978, when the movie “Escape From Alcatraz” was being shot. Seeing actors dressed in prison uniforms added a sense of realism.
I was especially impressed by Cell #14, the “strip cell,” into which the worst troublemakers were locked after having to strip naked. When the door is closed, the cell is totally devoid of light. The use of this cell would probably be considered a form of “tortue” by today’s standards.
“pay our respects to the vermin” LOL! Great line.
Looks like Obama is seriously pissing off the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Gitmo.
My guess is the top brass do not want to send our brave boys and girls (not being disrespectful but they are so young) on BS “bug hunts” (line from Bill Paxton in Aliens) to catch this murderous vermin only to have Obama’s pals in CAIR, ACLU, ACORN release the murdering rats.
Alcatraz was no party. It was cold as anything and damp as well.
Really? Been to San Fran a few times and never took the tour. Tell us more about ghosts and creepiness. Did you take the tour? Very cold too. It must had demorlaized the inmates because they could see San Fran - freedom so close but so far. Bitter cold water with impossible currents and probably plenty of sharks.
Beautiful place (San Fran) but horrible freak people. God geographically made a beautiful place and Satan filled it with creeps like Pelosi. ;-)
No we just elect criminals to the Senate and the tax cheats get gigs in the faux Messiah’s Admin. :-(
It would almost be funny.....
Put them on an old ship and send it to sea. Don’t our subs need practice?
Ought to put wind generators all over the San Francisco bay area.
Then just sit back and watch pelousy and Kennedy go bananas.
Why even bother putting them in THE ROCK just let them bunk with Nancy...they could braid each others beards and tell super stories about how they all pulled big ones on American...can someone say sleep over!!
I’m all for putting them inside Yucca Mountain, in their prison overalls...let them move barrels around by hand.
I haven’t been there, but I know somebody who was and said it was really creepy. Just saw some tv shows otherwise, but it supposedly is pretty haunted.
I would think that anyone could see what a joke Pelosi is, but apparently the whole Democratic Caucus is willing to indulge her in her fantasies. Steny Hoyer I understand. But she is as off the wall as Barney Frank. So it is not just in the Senate. The Democratic voters are sending us absolute loons.
The Gays would poison the sharks.
It’s probably against some international law. I mean, the chains, the public whippings, the degradation...and that’s just the Folsom Street Fair...
McNeil Island
AQ would sing like birds and eat Spam out of a can to get out of there.
WA state uses it to house sex offenders, perfect.
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