The long arm of the long census form

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/4/9 | Debra J. Saunders

[Dead Corpse]

Not yet...

[AuntB]

“Your personal ancestry or ethnic origin?

Ans. Native American - I was born here!”

Exactly!

na·tive (ntv)
adj.
1. Existing in or belonging to one by nature; innate: native ability.
2. Being such by birth or origin: a native Scot.
3. Being one’s own because of the place or circumstances of one’s birth: our native land.
4. Originating, growing, or produced in a certain place or region; indigenous

[Jewbacca]

Just make crap up.

You don’t want to refuse to answer b/c that puts you on the list.

Just lie, and lie fantastically.

[AliVeritas]

Do you have the constitutional cites for that?

I’ll need them.

[Mr Fuji]

I can still remember sitting at my kitchen table in 1999 and my then girlfriend (now wife) couldn't believe I answered just that one question exactly how you described. She kept saying they need all of the information filled out or they'll get mad/come get you/etc. Of course, I asked her “what for”? She couldn't come up with a reasonable answer. I explained to her the constitutional purpose of the census you could see the light bulb turning on in her head.

[paul51]

I’m sure my form will get lost in the mail

[Mr Fuji]

I guess it should’ve been 2000 not 1999.

[Jewbacca]

If you are in a safe “red” area, count your dogs and cats.

If you are in a blue area, say you don’t really live there all year, or “1”

[steve-b]

Census Bureau public information officer Shelly Lowe wants you to know that while you may be reluctant to share personal information with a faceless form, the bureau has strict rules safeguarding individual privacy.

Er, yeah....

Census bureau gave up WWII internment camp evaders

The United States Census Bureau turned over names and addresses of American citizens of Japanese descent to the Secret Service during World War II. Though the rest of this week’s identity loss stories pale in comparison, it illustrates vividly the most important point about protecting your privacy, and who is the biggest threat to your security....

[DaiHuy]

I usually meet them at the door with Dirk (GSD) and Max (Rottweiler), and inform them “no one in this house wants to talk with anyone from the government.”

[<1/1,000,000th%]

The left complaining about the left again.

When the winner finishes off their opponents, they’ll come back after us again.

[I_be_tc]

A friend of ours has a daughter who is marrying a rich man from Venezuela. Apparently, Chavez has now determined that anyone who has an extra bedroom in their home must take in a homeless person. Hmmmm.

[shove_it]

FTA: “As for the “mandatory” answers and possible fine of up to $5,000 - to Lowe’s knowledge, no American ever has been fined, even though only 67 percent of Americans participated in the 2000 census.”

Don’t count on that next year.

[Fred Hayek]

Just make crap up.

That’s what I did on my last census long form. High school dropout, minimum wage, yada gabba hey.

[MEGoody]

What is the penality for lying on a census form?

I'm wondering that myself. I could have some fun filling out the questionnaire.

[murrie]

Really?????? No kidding. Whoa. What happened? Wish I could’ve seen that. Bet you got quite a response....

[SeafoodGumbo]

You say that you're from the Census? C'mon in.To be sure that you really do work for the census and that you're who you say you are, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions, too. Hold on. Let me get the videocamera, I'll be right back....

Do you work for ACORN?

Do you swear that the information I provide will be kept safe and that you agree to take a personal financial responsibility if any information is used for purposes other than for what it's intended?

What is your employee number?

Who is your supervisor and what's his or her phone number?

I will also need to make a photocopy of your employee badge.

Honey, (calling to wife in next room) can you get the fingerprint machine....

[freekitty]

Love it.

[tet68]

Is anyone at home deaf or hard of hearing?

What? WHAT?

[LexBaird]

Do you have the constitutional cites for that?

Article I, Sec. 2: ... "The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct." ...