Jim Thompson, unemployed route driver in Fresno, confused by sudden notoriety

Liberal Lunacy ^ | 7/15/09 | Liberal Lunacy Staff/REM

[GeorgiaDawg32]

(Fresno, California – 7/15/09) Jim Thompson, 31, lived a fairly quiet life in the lazy town of Fresno, California until approximately 4 days ago when his world suddenly turned upside down. He awoke that morning to find he was the target of verbal insults from the leftist media who accused him of “owning” a right wing “blog” on the internet that contained comments not fit for publication.

Mr. Thompson issued the following spurious statement:

“Up until neigh on 4 days ago, I was livin a down-home quiet life with my two dogs, Bubba and Bough, them dogs ain't got a brain between 'em and Bough just can't think for himself. I gotta always tell him what do to, when to eat, when to "go", what to bark. He*l, I wish there were a machine somewhere that could do his thinkin for him so I wouldn't have to. Then, a few days ago, my phone done started ringin at 4 in the morning with nothing but insults from some guy from some TV station called MS something and he called me the worst person in the world. I can’t afford no T.V. and don’t know anyone who watches him. Heck, all I done did was drink a few six-packs the night before and if I would have knowed he was gonna call me names for that I wouldn’t have answered the dang phone. Then I start getting calls from other people I ain’t never heard of accusing me of the most vile and despicable things and callin me all sorts of names. They was all from out of town and they doesn’t even know me from Adam. They must have me confused with someone else but I ain’t sure.”

“Then I find out they’re callin me because I own some sort of internet “blog”, by the way, I have no ide-er what a “blog” is or where you find one. I called Charlies General Store, it’s the store that’s 3 blocks from here down at the light across from Joes Pick and Pay Beer Store and asked him if I bought a blog there but he couldn’t remember sellin me one. I guess I own it, but ain’t got no clue to when I bought it. I just wish they’d all go away and never come back but it seems the more I tell them I don’t own nothing, the more they accuse me of hidin facts. Besides, I ain’t go no clue what this “internet” is either. I ain’t go no computer and the only nets I have I uses for fishin.”

“I ain’t nothin but an umemployed used diaper truck route driver. Some people say the job stinks but it all smells like money to me. With this here “blog” I supposedly own, I think I’m gonna cash in and move my bidness to Washington, D.C. I hear’d there’s so much sh*t flowin outta that town right now I figger I’ll need several trucks and can make a fortune there over the next several years.”

“All I knows is I’m more famous now than I was after that night at the frat house, I didn’t go to no college but hangin out there was a lotta fun, when I done drank a case of beer and ate a pound of spaghetti, all in one hour then bust up 3/4 of it in one big spew. It was the purtiest thing all over that wall. I tried to call it art and git some money from the gubmint but they wasn’t helping me.”

“So y’all just go away or I’ll change my last name to Robinson or some such then y’all won’t find me at all.”

Developing..

[GOP_Lady]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

Hehe! :-)

[MHGinTN]

Bwahahahaha ... love it! I had a dog like ol’ Bough, but I named him with fewer letters.

[meanie monster]

hahahahahahahahahaha

[ElkGroveDan]

“. I called Charlies General Store, it’s the store that’s 3 blocks from here down at the light across from Joes Pick and Pay Beer Store

Aha! That guy's not from Fresno. He just described Lemoore. What a fraud! The media just picked him to make the fine sophisticated folks of Fresno look like Hillbillies. You have to drive 15 or 20 miles from Fresno to find toothless ignorant hicks like that, and the media darn well knows it!

[patriot08]

lol

____________________________

FYI:

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Be sure not to miss this.

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.

[smokingfrog]

I hope he's locked and loaded.

Has anybody created a Jim Thompson page on FR yet?

[trisham]

LOL!

[greyfoxx39]

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

I keep thinking about this great, old commercial when I saw the Olberman thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LztZu5s0-QU&feature=related

[max americana]

So this Jim Thompson fella is the owner of TreeRepublic?

[Tennessee Nana]

Hay, y’all...

Where’n ya dun git yer edjumackasin frum ???

It aint himself. itz hisself...

“Bough just can’t think for hisself”

would have ???

That thar is “woulda”

“if I woulda knowed he was gonna call me names”

See ?? Then y’all’d sound raht smart lark me...

y’all...

Jest bein nayberlee lark...

:)

[meanie monster]

So this Jim Thompson fella is the owner of TreeRepublic?

Yeah and he is hugh and series trouble.

[GeorgiaDawg32]

heh..hey, it was spur of the moment..:)

[fatnotlazy]

Thank you. I needed a good laugh after the day I’ve had.

[MarineBrat]

[budwiesest]

Has anybody created a Jim Thompson page on FR yet?

Someone needs to log on as Jim Thompson so we can unload on him for being so 'racy'. :^)

[magslinger]

Sept 15, 2003

Only one post.

[theDentist]

*chuckle*

That put a smile on my face.