Demasculation of America's Boys

Townhall.com ^ | September 8, 2009 | Rebecca hagelin

[Kaslin]

Every time I write about how the modern culture seems dead-set on destroying the confidence of America's little boys, I am swamped with e-mail. It seems that everyone with a son or grandson has a story to tell about how manhood and chivalry are under attack. Last week I heard from a dad, Bill, who echoes the sentiments of many: "The boys are getting emasculated and wimpy/passive as they're now intimidated by girls due to fear of sex harassment charges and pro-female/anti male societal/educational tilts."

Sadly, he's right. As a mom of two sons and a youth leader I have seen how boys cringe when television shows depict boys as crude and stupid while the girls are always smart and powerful. I've experienced their confusion when girls snub them for opening the door. One day I observed the pained looks on the faces of male highschool students when a teacher explained that a major assignment would be to watch a movie of their choice and write a paper on how women in the film are discriminated against.

The attacks on our boys are endless and very purposeful: if they are taught to be nothing more than crude dolts then they will become emasculated men who keep to themselves. And the women will end up wearing the pants.

I've also observed on countless occasions a minor, but powerful, display of how ours is quickly becoming a culture where men are having trouble being men: females struggling alone to lift a heavy suitcase into the overhead compartment on a plane all the while surrounded by men who pretend they don't see.

My reader, Bill, also said:

"The feminists that sold us on there being no discernable difference between men and women except their plumbing have done an immeasurable disservice to women, the family, and hence society."

I would add that this trend toward emasculation is also destroying the dignity and potential of countless young boys.

Decide to raise your sons to be gentlemen - that means teaching them to be both courageous and considerate. To create young men of valor, you have to spend a significant amount of time deprogramming them of the lies the culture bombards them with at every turn. Talk about the raunchy scenes in TV shows, commercials and music that depict males as irrelevant or disposable. Or better yet, filter out those messages altogether.

If you are a dad or the primary male in the life of a boy, the most effective method to ensure that he becomes a man of dignity is to consciously model the behavior for him. If you are a mom with no positive adult male to help you raise your son, find one.

Seek out great organizations like the Boy Scouts or find a church family that will help you. In the meantime, develop a habit of reading stories of brave, kind men so they can imagine themselves becoming that way too. One great resource for books, tapes and movies to help you raise boys you can be proud of is www.VisionForum.com.

America really needs more than just a few good men - help your son be one of them.

[Sir Francis Dashwood]

“When the fairies are displeased with anybody, they are said to send their elves to pinch them. The ecclesiastics, when they are displeased with any civil state, make also their elves, that is, superstitious, enchanted subjects, to pinch their princes, by preaching sedition; or one prince, enchanted with promises, to pinch another.”

(Thomas Hobbes. Leviathan, 1651.)

[freebilly]

Too few warriors left in the bunch of feminized narcissistic text messaging pukes that call themselves men these days....

[Apple Pan Dowdy]

Here in the “south” we still have men who are real men. I see daily evidence of men opening doors, lifting heavy stuff to help someone, and a lot of other gentlemanly conduct. I guess that is because they know that “southern” ladies still expect it and love them for it.

[Colonel_Flagg]

Amen. My son is quite comfortable in his own skin and does the small things right — he gets the door for a lady, he is kind, courteous and considerate to the fairer sex — and he’s so good at it, he’s getting to the point where he’s going to have to beat the teenage girls away with a stick :)

Not all women mind being treated well. The young man who understands that his role is to be a gentleman will still go far in today’s world.

[DYngbld]

I have been say that for years. Every time I see a boy raised in a house were he is not allowed to be a boy it hurts. I agree Scouts is a great way to get our Boys to grow up and be great Men. Unfortunately there are way to many women who will not let there little boys "get hurt", or coddle them all the time. Bumps, bruises, cut, scrapes, scars, are all part of growing up.

I could get on a huge soapbox here. John Eldredge wrote a few books on this topic, I encourage anyone with male children read some of his books.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

And the women will end up wearing the pants.

Have you noticed the boys are all wearing skorts these days?

[P8riot]

I am a Scout Leader, I have been a scout since 1964 and an Eagle Scout since 1970, and I am honored to be associated with real men of all ages.

[Just mythoughts]

The attacks on our boys are endless and very purposeful: if they are taught to be nothing more than crude dolts then they will become emasculated men who keep to themselves. And the women will end up wearing the pants.

Algore lived the pampered life, and yet it was a Wolf woman that he hired to teach him how to appear as an Alpha male. And there is nothing new about this just read the story of Deborah in the book of Judges.

[beachn4fun]

Not all women mind being treated well.

And, I am one of them. I can very well do things on my own, but there is something "sexy" about a gentleman. Maybe it has to do with respect.

When a man walks in front me, not to open the door for me, but to go through first, that to me is disrespectful. And, I get a lot of that around the work place.

p.s. I would recommend getting rid of the term "fairer sex" because some of us find that a demeaning term. Try female gender instead or lovely ladies or ?????

[NMEwithin]

The author neglects to mention the proliferation of behavior modifying drugs (Ritalin, Prozac, etc.)which are being prescribed overwhelmingly to young boys. This also contributes to the “wussification” of our youth.

[Mygirlsmom]

As parents of three daughters, we were often asked when and if we were going to "try for a boy". Our answer was always, "we'll have more boys than we know what to do with soon, and we will trust our girls to choose the boys for our family."

While I am still hopeful that there will be good men left for them to marry, I realize the search might be difficult. My girls have been raised to apply the "gold standard" and to not settle for less than being treated the way their Dad treats me (and them).

[naturalman1975]

Indeed!

I teach in an all boys school in Australia, which means we have the luxury of trying to teach them to come out right.

One of the school's explicit aims is to create 'gentlemen' and 'gentle men', with the emphasis on 'men'. Avoiding the idea that creating men who care about other people, means turning them into wimps.

We use Kipling's If.. as our template of what a man is.

[DYngbld]

Thanks for all the work you do and have done, I am a new Scouter. My Son started last year, he is Bear CubScout, and is very serious about it. His goal is to be an Eagle Scout, and I have no doubt in my mind he will achieve his goal. I an the Den leader and the wearer of any hat that needs worn. You can not ask for a better boys program then a well run scout pack/troop. That said, there is no substitute for an involved, male HEAD OF HIS HOUSE, in the boys life.

[Bulldawg Fan]

If men are so disposable, why cant women seem to raise sons alone? Why are so many young men from single women households or homes where men come and go for the night, such a problem for society once they become teens and young adults? Its because women cant do it alone, they cant be a father figure and society is being crippled by it.

[deadrock]

with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Honor was last because it meant the most.

[Bulldawg Fan]

Take a look at the latest tv commercial attack on white men. The McDonalds commercial where some pimp-looking white guy is the semi slave boy for a hulking black athelete, providing the bag of McDonald’s food at the demand of the black guy and never even realizing how bad it makes him look.

[MSF BU]

Does your military provide the type of support (overnight billeting, jamboree support, tours) that ours does? I am just curious.

[naturalman1975]

Just one example of resistance. Our school's counsellor came up with this idea that to make troublesome boys more sensitive we should make them copy out poems and inspiring verse during detentions.

This is the poem I give boys when I find myself forced to follow her advice.

There's a breathless hush in the Close to-night -
Ten to make and the match to win -
A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
An hour to play and the last man in.
And it's not for the sake of a ribboned coat,
Or the selfish hope of a season's fame,
But his Captain's hand on his shoulder smote -
'Play up! play up! and play the game!'

The sand of the desert is sodden red, -
Red with the wreck of a square that broke; -
The Gatling's jammed and the Colonel dead,
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
The river of death has brimmed his banks,
And England's far, and Honour a name,
But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks:
'Play up! play up! and play the game!'

This is the word that year by year,
While in her place the School is set,
Every one of her sons must hear,
And none that hears it dare forget.
This they all with a joyful mind
Bear through life like a torch in flame,
And falling fling to the host behind -
'Play up! play up! and play the game!'

I reckon for a troublesome fifteen year old boy, that type of poem is going to be far more effective than what she had in mind, with a far better message for him.

[Rebelbase]

“I am a Scout Leader, I have been a scout since 1964 and an Eagle Scout since 1970, and I am honored to be associated with real men of all ages”

There was a Cuban Troop in So.FL. back in the 70’s that had a group of mothers go on their camping trips and cook. I’m sure the kids all grew up to be fine men and it was culture thing to have the moms cook, but we used to howl with laughter at the the sight of it.