Posted on 12/31/2009 9:19:58 AM PST by Arec Barrwin
New Research: Why Never Spanking Might Be Worse for Kids Than Spanking Them
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:00 AM By Po Bronson
In NurtureShock, we described some extensive cross-ethnic and international research on spanking by Drs. Jennifer Lansford and Ken Dodge.
Their data suggested that if a culture views spanking as the normal consequence for bad behavior, kids aren’t damaged by its occasional use.
To explain this shocker, the scholars suggested that in cultures or communities where spanking is common, parents are less agitated when administering spankings. Spanking almost never when combined with losing your temper can be worse than spanking frequently.*
But what about the third option: not spanking them at all?
Unfortunately, there’s been little study of this, because children who’ve never been spanked aren’t easy to find. Most kids receive physical discipline at least once in their life. But times are changing, and parents today have numerous alternatives to spanking. The result is that kids are spanked less often overall, and kids who’ve never been spanked are becoming a bigger slice of the pie in long-term population studies.
(Excerpt) Read more at blog.newsweek.com ...
Depends on how it is done. I told my kids to think about what they had done and why it was wrong while in time out, then they had to tell me what they concluded and apologize to the offended person before I would let them out. Just putting them in time out accomplishes nothing.
I grew up during that time, and heard many people comment on the “new” way of rasing “better” children. If anyone had stopped to think about it, the current generation at that time had survived the great depression, won World War II, and built the largest free market economy in history. What was wrong with how they were raised? Turned out pretty good in my opinion.
Unfortunately, because this moron had “Dr.” in his name, the premise was accepted that there was something “wrong” with how kids were being raised, and this “doctor” had the answer.
Just about 50 years later, you only have to walk down the street to figure out who was correct!
start spanking at an early age....never hurt any child....i even signed the form to spank my kids in school if they got out of hand...(they never did) but i wanted my kids to know i had signed it to put the fear into them....
Oh you can find kids who have never been spanked everywhere.
Spoiled rotten thinking it has got to be their way or no way.
Using drugs, speeding, cheating in school, and cheating in the workplace.
They’re everywhere.
Lying was also the number one spanking offense in our household and all of the boys knew it.
>you consideryourself to be God, deciding what is good and evil, right or wrong, for yourself.<
So that’s what makes Liberals the way they are - no discipline when young, getting away with “outsmarting” their parents, who should have known better. And now the rest of us have to sit here and take it!
>> Yep, I deserved every spank I got, and even once a punch in the face for insulting my old man.
Once (during my personal Age of Infinite Wisdom, c. age 16) I said something snotty and profane to my mother at the dinner table.
My Dad was up out of his chair so quick and with such force that he threw the chair back and broke one of its legs. About a millisecond later came his (thankfully open) hand right square across my face.
That was the only time he ever hit me in the face. I had no idea he could move so quick. I deserved every bit of it. I was lucky he didn’t hit me even harder.
Both of my parents very occasionally practiced corporal punishment, essentially all of it before age ten. I can’t ever recall a time when it was excessive or when I didn’t deserve it.
I also can’t ever recall a time when either of my parents acted counter to what they considered my best interests. Of course, they and I disagreed about what was in my best interests, but everything they did, they did for us kids.
They were everyday heroes. Boy, do I miss them.
It is a good idea to tell them what action(s) resulted in the discipline too.
Exactly. Fanning the behind merely because a child made a mistake is child abuse. Fanning the behind over obvious misbehaviour is not. Too many parents don't know the difference.
And I emphasise fanning the behind. The minute a parent picks up a weapon, any weapon, other than their hand, that parent's guilty of child abuse.
There are spankings, . amd there are beatings One is for the good of the child, and the other is a way to vent the parent’s anger. I am sorry you were punched in the face. However, you may have even deserved that, for all I know. :)
“That’s right! Good catch! This is the ONLY reason Newsweak is putting this out because Michelle admitted that she spanked her girls. “
Like any conservative, I give credit where credit is due...and Michelle DEFINITELY scores points in my book (for the first time), if she is a spanker. If she campaigns for spanking, I’ll really like her.
>> Lying was also the number one spanking offense in our household and all of the boys knew it.
“all of the boys”, huh? Never young Millicent? :-)
Me, when my kids are acting up, we go for a ride. I have found that a short ride (to nowhere in particular) in the car together gives me a chance to impart my feelings and concerns to my child without any external interruptions, and allows my child to clearly understand my expectations and concerns.
It works so well I have never had to take them out for a ride more than once.
I think the rest of you are barbarians.
“I also can’t ever recall a time when either of my parents acted counter to what they considered my best interests. Of course, they and I disagreed about what was in my best interests, but everything they did, they did for us kids.
They were everyday heroes. Boy, do I miss them.”
Nice story. I landed a backhand on my older kid when he was 14. He was next to me in the car, made a snide remark, I warned him, made the same remark again...I didn’t even think...backhand...drew some blood. I told him to keep quiet with mom, or I’d tell her why...he agreed, and once the shock wore off, we were buddies (as usual). No complaints about my kids (and no complaints from them about me [other than the usual things, like limiting Internet access], as far as I know).
One thing that most young parents fail to understand is how destructive it is when your children throw temper tantrums.
Your child is basically telling you "I am going to make your life hell until I get my way" in other words: it's passive rebellion.
It's not cute or "they are tired" or "strong willed" or anything else except it answers the question: who will be in control
Sadly most parents loss this battle
Bingo!
I swatted a few times and then figured out if I “got in their face” it worked better.
Still, my college son is now 6’3” and is afraid of 5’3” me. Also, one of his ears is larger than the other and still shows signs of ‘red around the edges.’
Word of advice from my Grandfather: “Sis, your need to put a little fear in your children.” So I did and it worked.
It only took 50 years of people listening to stupid shrinks to figure it out!
Arround my house we call it “Applying the board of education to his seat of knowledge”.
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