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The Secret Life of Connecticut State Attorney General Richard Blumenthal
Credits to James Thurber ^ | May 18 2010 | parody

Posted on 05/18/2010 5:51:04 PM PDT by Brugmansian

“We’re going through!” Commander Richard Blumenthal’s voice was like thin ice breaking. He wore his full-dress uniform, with the heavily braided white cap pulled down rakishly over one cold gray eye. “We can’t make it, sir. It’s spoiling for a hurricane, if you ask me.”

“I’m not asking you, Lieutenant Berg,” said the Commander. “Throw on the power lights! Rev her up to 8,500! We’re going through!”

The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa. Blumenthal stared at the ice forming on the pilot window. He walked over and twisted a row of complicated dials.

“Switch on No. 8 auxiliary!” he shouted. “Switch on No. 8 auxiliary!” repeated Lieutenant Berg. “Full strength in No. 3 turret!” shouted Commander Blumenthal. “Full strength in No. 3 turret!”

The crew, bending to their various tasks in the huge, hurtling eight-engined Navy hydroplane, looked at each other and grinned. “Blumy will get us through” they said to one another. “ Blumenthal ain’t afraid of Hell!” . .

"Not so fast! You're making that up!" said Linda McMahon. "Are you delusional?"

"Hmm?" said Richard Blumenthal...

"The Connecticut Attorney General is tensed up again," Fox News anchor Megyn Kelley opined."It's one of his days. Or weeks. We wish he would let let Dr. Renshaw look him over."

They're so damn cocky, thought Blumenthal, flicking the channel to Keith Olbermann. FOX thinks they know everything.

Richard picked up an old copy of Liberty and sank down into the chair. "Can Germany Conquer the World Through the Air?" He looked at the pictures of bombing planes and of ruined streets.

. . . "The cannonading has got the wind up in young Raleigh, sir," said the sergeant. Captain Blumenthal looked up at him through tousled hair. "Get him to bed," he said wearily. "With the others. I'll fly alone."

"But you can't, sir," said the sergeant anxiously. "It takes two men to handle that bomber and the Archies are pounding hell out of the air. Von Richtman's circus is between here and Saulier."

"Somebody's got to get that ammunition dump," said Richard. "I'm going over. Spot of brandy?"

He poured a drink for the sergeant and one for himself. War thundered and whined around the dugout and battered at the door. There was a rending of wood and splinters flew through the room. "A bit of a near thing," said Captain Blumenthal carelessly.

"The box barrage is closing in," said the sergeant. "We only live once, Sergeant," said Richard with his faint, fleeting smile. "Or do we?" He poured another brandy and tossed it off.

"I never see a man could hold his brandy like you, sir," said the sergeant. "Begging your pardon, sir."

Captain Blumenthal stood up and strapped on his huge Webley-Vickers automatic. "It's forty kilometers through hell, sir," said the sergeant. Richard finished one last brandy. "After all," he said softly, "what isn't? . . .


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Connecticut; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: attorney; blumenthal; connecticut; general; life; richardblumenthal; secret

1 posted on 05/18/2010 5:51:04 PM PDT by Brugmansian
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To: Brugmansian

LOL! Well done!


2 posted on 05/18/2010 5:55:16 PM PDT by Talisker (When you find a turtle on top of a fence post, you can be damn sure it didn't get there on it's own.)
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To: Brugmansian

Really, really good. Two thumbs up, more if I had them.


3 posted on 05/18/2010 5:57:19 PM PDT by Fantasywriter
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To: Brugmansian

Awesome!


4 posted on 05/18/2010 5:58:38 PM PDT by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: Brugmansian

Dick Blumenthal is a self righteous dictator! Good friends with Eliot Spitzer, btw.


5 posted on 05/18/2010 5:58:42 PM PDT by SocialismHater
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To: Brugmansian

SUPERLATIVE!!!


6 posted on 05/18/2010 6:02:13 PM PDT by badgerlandjim (Hillary Clinton is to politics as Helen Thomas is to beauty.)
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To: Brugmansian

:)


7 posted on 05/18/2010 6:03:23 PM PDT by novemberslady
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To: Brugmansian
Blumy's spokesman just released a photo of him in Vietnam. 'Course, he looked a little different back then . . .


8 posted on 05/18/2010 6:06:10 PM PDT by colorado tanker
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To: Brugmansian

Tapocketa-tapocketa-tapocketa-queep.


9 posted on 05/18/2010 6:08:25 PM PDT by Flash Bazbeaux
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To: Brugmansian

What’s the difference bewteen Blumenthal and Jane Fonda?

Jane actually went to Vietnam.


10 posted on 05/18/2010 6:22:04 PM PDT by Illuminatas (Obama - Dumber Than Bush!)
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To: Brugmansian

Sean Hannity was saying something about Blumenthal claiming he was a caption of one of the sports’ teams at Harvard, which he was not. Blumenthal needs a psychiatrist.


11 posted on 05/18/2010 6:28:21 PM PDT by Sun (Pray that God sends us good leaders. Please say a prayer now.)
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To: Brugmansian
He is no Douglas Stringfellow , but he is a practiced lying psycho .
12 posted on 05/18/2010 6:30:12 PM PDT by kbennkc (For those who have fought for it , freedom has a flavor the protected will never know F Trp 8th Cav)
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To: Illuminatas
What’s the difference between Blumenthal and Jane Fonda? Jane actually went to Vietnam.

That's classic! Thanks

13 posted on 05/18/2010 6:44:28 PM PDT by WesternPacific (Deafness has its Advantages)
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To: badgerlandjim
Thurber was such a clear, descriptive writer it is almost embarrassing to use him for parody. Change a few words and you're done. My parents were big fans. First cartoons I remember were Thurber's. This (without my alteration) was my favorite:

14 posted on 05/18/2010 6:47:21 PM PDT by Brugmansian
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To: SocialismHater
Good friends with Eliot Spitzer, btw.

They look alike!

Separated at birth?

15 posted on 05/18/2010 7:30:21 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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