E-Tombs, For The Dead Who Were Digitally Connected

ChicoER Gate ^ | 11/22/10 | Chuck Wolk

[OneVike]

There are those who think that for too long the dead have been stuck in the past, and that it is time we allowed them to enter the future. So a team of designers has developed a Blue-tooth-enabled grave stone that will allow friends and relatives to really get in touch with the life that was uncle Joe, aunt Sue, brother Mike or even Ma and Pa Kettle. Those silent moments at grave sites are going to be a lot more enjoyable, as we will now be able to relive the moments that were truly memorable. Thanks to the folks at Yanko Design and Rosetta Stone, there is now the technology to connect the emerging importance of social networking with the traditional form of cemeteries and memorials. Yes this is really the way the future is now heading.  The dead will be connected to the living, or at least to all the information the dead left behind.

We've come a long way from the days when humans had to rely on surviving relatives to either chisel the deeds into the stone walls of the caves we lived in for so many years, or pass on the memory of our accomplishments by word of mouth. Heck, if it weren't for those campfire chats at night after our burial, no one would even know we ever existed, let alone remember the things we did. Yup, things sure are going to be different now. No more counting on uncle Ben's memory about that hunting trip when you killed that black bear with with the help of your monster dog, Rover. No sir! Now after we are long dead, we will continue to live in cyberspace by having our relatives interact through key web pages like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. There will be digital photos of that black bear that really got away, and the truth about how big that dog really was.

You see, it will be the information on these sites that will now be stored onto a hard drive implanted into the tomb above your grave. With today's technology, while your loved ones are standing over your resting place, they will be able to use their cell phone or i-Pod to download anything about you they wish to have. Just imagine, as more and more of our lives are spent in the digital realm, it only seems fitting that our memorials follow suit. Fact is, mourners will still be discussing the truth about the lives we led long after we would have been forgotten. You know how they say that once you enter something into the internet, it's there forever? Well, now your relatives will be able to make sure that information they find out about you on the web will be added and updated to the digital library of your E-Tomb, even those embarrassing moments you thought were long forgotten.

Oh, and there will be no problem with those short-lived batteries that could possibly cause memory loss, because the E-Tomb will be solar powered. That could be a bit of a problem for our relatives buried in the land of the daytime darkness. But at least they will have 6 Months to feed, or download from, the hard drive during the summer.

Now that computer manufacturers have created flash drives that hold more and more information, there is no limit to the amount of dirt that can be added to your E-Tomb library. After all, the online activities you are part of today will persist long after you have passed away. So now all those blogs, passwords, Facebook wall posts, and Twitter accounts that you had while you were part of the living, can be continued into perpetuity.

Another great thing about E-Tomb is its unique ability to combine a well-recognized, physical symbol with the newly conceived digital minutiae that is rapidly consuming our modern lives. Oh I am sure many will question whether this will be a good thing for society in general, but does it really matter? I mean once you are dead, your life's digital file will be public property. So anyone will be able to access your internet files, and I am sure that Google will make sure of it. Imagine, after you are dead, those who miss you or hate you the most will both be able to turn the life you lived into whatever they so desire, whether it be good or bad. Isn't technology grand?

[LomanBill]

[With today’s technology, ]

Uhuh. Today’s technology. How well does “today’s” iPod/iPhone/iWhatever work with the box of “yesterday’s” 5.25” floppy disks I’ve got in my garage?

Interesting scam, though - for the stupefied sheeple who worship their toys.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thanks for the ping!

[LomanBill]

>>for the stupefied sheeple who worship their toys...

...and themselves.

[Elsie]

No more images from the past found on glass negatives.

[Fiddlstix]

The haunting question is.......
Does the E-Tomb automatically vote democrat every election?

[TheOldLady]

Bump.

[listenhillary]

Where is the plug in? Is there an app for that? ;)

[Elsie]

I’d give my right arm to see those pictographs!

Oh... wait...

That’s already been done.

(127 hours)

[clearcarbon]

[The Comedian]

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.