At Picnic for Black Mormons, No Sign of Church’s Biased Past (NY Times Mormon Hate on Cue)

NY Times ^ | 6/11/11 | Mark Oppenheimer

[E. Pluribus Unum]

You're shouting again. You look even more crazy when you do that.

[Elsie]

You're shouting again. You look even more crazy when you do that.

They are your words. Don you wish you hadn't typed them?

You don't 'care' about MORMONs, but you DO 'care' about ELSIE.

There is SO much love here!

[Elsie]

Speaking of love:

THE
DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS
OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

SECTION 132

51–57, Emma Smith is counseled (commanded) to be faithful and true; 58–66, Laws governing the plurality of wives are set forth.

51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to ^aprove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.

52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, ^areceive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.

53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been ^afaithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.

54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and ^acleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be ^bdestroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.

55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an ^ahundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of ^beternal lives in the eternal worlds.

56 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid ^aforgive my servant Joseph his trespasses; and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to ^brejoice.

 

 

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Whatever HAPPENED to Emma???

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Eliza was a devout Mormon.

At age 38, she became Joseph Smith's 14th plural wife (in addition to Smith's lawful wife, Emma).

In 1842, after learning Eliza was pregnant, Emma Smith beat Eliza with a broomstick and

knocked her down a flight of stairs, causing Eliza to miscarry Smith's baby.

 

Wow!!

 

I guess ol' Emma got VAPORIZED by GOD!!!

 

We know that multiply him thing sure didn't work out!

[Elsie]

You're shouting again.

You mean like THIS ?

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Somebody as bat-guano crazy as you is far more dangerous than any Mormon ever thought of being.

[Elsie]

 

Don LeFevre, a past spokesman for the church has said the church,

 

 "...strongly advises its members not to affiliate with organizations that are secret, oath-bound,

 or would cause them to lose interest in church activities."

 

[Salt Lake Tribune Section D1, Monday Feb. 17, 1992]

 

 

There goes all the Temple Recommends!

 

[Elsie]

Somebody as bat-guano crazy as you is far more dangerous than any Mormon ever thought of being.

 

Did SOMEone mention CRAZY and MORMON in the same sentence??

 

 

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"Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race?

 If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain,

the penalty, under the law of God is death on the spot. This will always be so."

 

Second President of the Church, Brigham Young, 1863  (Journal of Discourses, Vo. 10, p. 110)

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Run for your lives! The crazy Mormon-hater is back!

[Elsie]

You really have nothing to say; do you?

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Thank you for calling "Ask the Prophet!"

 

Every call is important to us.

All lines are presently in use.

If you wish to access the Ask the Prophet FAQ sheet, Press 1 to be connected to LDS.ORG

If you wish to access the Ask the Prophet FAQ sheet en Espanol, Pulse 2 para ser conectado a LDS.ORG

If you wish to talk to the Living Prophet, please standby and a representitive will be with you shortly.

After receiving an answer from the Living Prophet, Press 3 to hear a unanimous affirmation of TRUTH by 12 sub-representitives.

(Cue background music: Praise to the Man)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for calling "Ask the Prophet!"

Every call is important to us.

All lines are presently in use.

.

.

.

.

[Elsie]

Run for your lives! The crazy Mormon-hater is back!

Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals #5.

"Ridicule is man's most potent weapon.
It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule.
Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage."

[E. Pluribus Unum]

You practice Alinsky Rule #5 against Mormons, but that’s different because you’re crazy.

[Elsie]

You practice Alinsky Rule #5 against Mormons, but that’s different because you’re crazy.

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THE FIRST BOOK OF NEPHI

HIS REIGN AND MINISTRY

CHAPTER 16

 

The wicked take the truth to be hard—Lehi’s sons marry the daughters of Ishmael—The Liahona guides their course in the wilderness—Messages from the Lord are written on the Liahona from time to time—Ishmael dies; his family murmur because of afflictions. Between 600 and 592 B.C.

 

1 And now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of speaking to my brethren, behold they said unto me: Thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear.

2 And it came to pass that I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken ^ahard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified, and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day; wherefore, the ^bguilty taketh the ^ctruth to be hard, for it ^dcutteth them to the very center.

3 And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were willing to hearken to the truth, and give heed unto it, that ye might ^awalk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth, and say: Thou speakest hard things against us.

4 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did exhort my brethren, with all diligence, to keep the commandments of the Lord.

5 And it came to pass that they did ^ahumble themselves before the Lord; insomuch that I had joy and great hopes of them, that they would walk in the paths of righteousness.

6 Now, all these things were said and done as my father dwelt in a tent in the ^avalley which he called Lemuel.

7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, took one of the ^adaughters of Ishmael to ^bwife; and also, my brethren took of the ^cdaughters of Ishmael to wife; and also ^dZoram took the eldest daughter of Ishmael to wife.

8 And thus my father had fulfilled all the ^acommandments of the Lord which had been given unto him. And also, I, Nephi, had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly.

9 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord spake unto my father by night, and commanded him that on the morrow he should take his ^ajourney into the wilderness.

10 And it came to pass that as my father arose in the morning, and went forth to the tent door, to his great astonishment he beheld upon the ground a round ^aball of curious workmanship; and it was of fine brass. And within the ball were two spindles; and the one ^bpointed the way whither we should go into the wilderness.

11 And it came to pass that we did gather together whatsoever things we should carry into the wilderness, and all the remainder of our provisions which the Lord had given unto us; and we did take ^aseed of every kind that we might carry into the wilderness.

12 And it came to pass that we did take our tents and depart into the wilderness, across the river Laman.

13 And it came to pass that we traveled for the space of four days, nearly a south-southeast direction, and we did pitch our tents again; and we did call the name of the place ^aShazer.

14 And it came to pass that we did take our bows and our arrows, and go forth into the wilderness to slay food for our families; and after we had slain food for our families we did return again to our families in the wilderness, to the place of Shazer. And we did go forth again in the wilderness, following the same direction, keeping in the most fertile parts of the wilderness, which were in the borders near the ^aRed Sea.

15 And it came to pass that we did travel for the space of many days, ^aslaying food by the way, with our bows and our arrows and our stones and our slings.

16 And we did follow the ^adirections of the ball, which led us in the more fertile parts of the wilderness.

17 And after we had traveled for the space of many days, we did pitch our tents for the space of a time, that we might again rest ourselves and obtain food for our families.

18 And it came to pass that as I, Nephi, went forth to slay food, behold, I did break my bow, which was made of fine ^asteel; and after I did break my bow, behold, my brethren were angry with me because of the loss of my bow, for we did obtain no food.

19 And it came to pass that we did return without food to our families, and being much fatigued, because of their journeying, they did suffer much for the want of food.

20 And it came to pass that Laman and Lemuel and the sons of Ishmael did begin to murmur exceedingly, because of their sufferings and afflictions in the wilderness; and also my father began to murmur against the Lord his God; yea, and they were all exceedingly sorrowful, even that they did ^amurmur against the Lord.

21 Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, having been afflicted with my brethren because of the loss of my bow, and their bows having lost their ^asprings, it began to be exceedingly difficult, yea, insomuch that we could obtain no food.

22 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did speak much unto my brethren, because they had hardened their hearts again, even unto ^acomplaining against the Lord their God.

23 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did ^amake out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick, an arrow; wherefore, I did arm myself with a bow and an arrow, with a sling and with stones. And I said unto my ^bfather: Whither shall I go to obtain food?

24 And it came to pass that he did ^ainquire of the Lord, for they had ^bhumbled themselves because of my words; for I did say many things unto them in the energy of my soul.

25 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came unto my father; and he was truly ^achastened because of his murmuring against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow.

26 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord said unto him: Look upon the ball, and behold the things which are written.

27 And it came to pass that when my father beheld the things which were ^awritten upon the ball, he did fear and tremble exceedingly, and also my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and our wives.

28 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld the pointers which were in the ball, that they did work according to the ^afaith and diligence and heed which we did give unto them.

29 And there was also written upon them a new writing, which was plain to be read, which did give us ^aunderstanding concerning the ways of the Lord; and it was written and changed from time to time, according to the faith and diligence which we gave unto it. And thus we see that by ^bsmall means the Lord can bring about great things.

30 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did go forth up into the top of the mountain, according to the ^adirections which were given upon the ball.

31 And it came to pass that I did slay wild ^abeasts, insomuch that I did obtain food for our families.

32 And it came to pass that I did return to our tents, bearing the beasts which I had slain; and now when they beheld that I had obtained ^afood, how great was their joy! And it came to pass that they did humble themselves before the Lord, and did give thanks unto him.

33 And it came to pass that we did again take our journey, traveling nearly the same course as in the beginning; and after we had traveled for the space of many days we did pitch our tents again, that we might tarry for the space of a time.

34 And it came to pass that ^aIshmael died, and was buried in the place which was called ^bNahom.

35 And it came to pass that the daughters of Ishmael did ^amourn exceedingly, because of the loss of their father, and because of their ^bafflictions in the wilderness; and they did ^cmurmur against my father, because he had brought them out of the land of Jerusalem, saying: Our father is dead; yea, and we have wandered much in the wilderness, and we have suffered much affliction, hunger, thirst, and fatigue; and after all these sufferings we must perish in the wilderness with hunger.

36 And thus they did murmur against my father, and also against me; and they were desirous to ^areturn again to Jerusalem.

37 And Laman said unto Lemuel and also unto the sons of Ishmael: Behold, let us ^aslay our father, and also our brother Nephi, who has taken it upon him to be our ^bruler and our teacher, who are his elder brethren.

38 Now, he says that the Lord has talked with him, and also that ^aangels have ministered unto him. But behold, we know that he lies unto us; and he tells us these things, and he worketh many things by his cunning arts, that he may deceive our eyes, thinking, perhaps, that he may lead us away into some strange wilderness; and after he has led us away, he has thought to make himself a king and a ruler over us, that he may do with us according to his will and pleasure. And after this manner did my brother Laman ^bstir up their hearts to ^canger.

39 And it came to pass that the Lord was with us, yea, even the voice of the Lord came and did speak many words unto them, and did ^achasten them exceedingly; and after they were chastened by the voice of the Lord they did turn away their anger, and did repent of their sins, insomuch that the Lord did bless us again with food, that we did not perish.

The Official Scriptures of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
© 2010 Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved.
Rights and use information. Privacy policy.

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[Elsie]

You practice Alinsky Rule #5 against Mormons, but that’s different because you’re crazy.

---

A guy gets a flat tire in front of a mental hospital.
As he's putting on the spare, the four nuts for securing the tire to the car accidentally fall down a storm grate.
He's distraught because he doesn't know what to do.

A mental patient watching the whole episode from behind a fence says: "Why don't you just take one nut off each of the other three tires and put the spare on with those? That should hold you until you get to a service station."

The man is amazed. What a great idea!
Then he says, "But you're a mental patient. How'd you think of something so clever?"

The patient says, "I may be crazy, not I'm not stupid."

[E. Pluribus Unum]

You forgot to cut-and-paste a bunch of robo-stuff that time.

Just so you know.

[Elsie]

Just so you know.

MORMONism is a heresy.

[Elsie]

Once I was called ugly by a toad...

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Smart toad.

[Elsie]

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/js_h/1/17#17

  17 It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!
  18 My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)—and which I should join.
  19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”
  20 He again forbade me to join with any of them; and many other things did he say unto me, which I cannot write at this time. When I came to myself again, I found myself lying on my back, looking up into heaven. 

[Elsie]

JESUS MARRIED AT THE WEDDING IN CANA AND FATHERED CHILDREN

“Jesus was the bridegroom at the marriage of Cana of Galilee, and told them what to do. Now there was actually a marriage; and if Jesus was not the bridegroom on that occasion, please tell who was. If any man can show this, and prove that it was not the Savior of the world, then I will acknowledge I am in error. We say it was Jesus Christ who was married, to be brought into the relation whereby he could see his seed, before he was crucified…I shall say here, that before our Savior died, he looked upon his own natural children, as we look upon ours;…”

 

-- A Lecture by Mormon Apostle Orson Hyde, delivered at the General Conference, in the Tabernacle, Great Salt Lake City, October 6, 1854, Journal of Discourses, Vol 2, page 82

[Blowtorch]

Mr Elsie is driven by hatred of the LDS faith. He is particularly aggressive and condescending. I don’t go near threads when he goes off because it can never be productive.