Skip to comments.Secret document reveals why BMW drivers are asshats
Posted on 12/21/2011 12:23:43 AM PST by Impala64ssa
A leaked document has revealed that the asshattery of BMW drivers may be more than coincidence. Failing to use turn signals, cutting off other drivers, tailgating, flipping the bird and other affronts to road civility have become indelibly associated with the Bavarian Marque. Why? According to the document, it's all part of a totally illegal customer loyalty scheme.
This template document, issued to all BMW dealers (click the image below to expand), comes to us from an anonymous informant known only as "The Whistleblower." It clearly outlines a list of driving behaviors, recorded on the black boxes that have been standard on all new BMWs for several years now and translated into points.
Accumulated points can then be traded for the kind of fabulous prizes middle management Bimmer drivers most covet, such as anger management classes and male botox injections.
(Excerpt) Read more at jalopnik.com ...
Allow me to explain. LOL
We all drive on the right. So why is it that on foot or in stores, people drive on the left?
WTF is that?
Seems to me if we just use the same mindset on traffic control in the office or the store that it would result in less smacking into one another and less aggravation in general.
You can’t strap a buck to the hood so what good are they?
Baja 1000 vehicles have it going on.
Yeah its a kidney rattler and a back shaker.
Mine was Trans Am Red with black vinyl seats, 3 speed manual and it was one of the best cars I ever owned.
Blacked the windows, jacked it up, put on fat tires, a Thrush muffler and 200W stereo in it.
[a big fat hairy deal for the late 70s]
Among other things, I mud-bogged in it down at the river.
It went -anywhere-.
The odometer stopped working at 249,000+ miles and I drove it for 2 years after that.
Some kid bought it out of a local junkyard and was driving down WV I-81 about 2 weeks later.
For all I know, it’s still out there somewhere.
Made some great memories in that car.
[Hey lady! Where’s the rest of your car?”
We kinda grew up the same way I think.
Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and SS Chevelles, Deep Purple, Highway star.
I only owned the 8 track tapes, I could never afford the cars.
Took a 67 chevelle rag top for a hell ride once through a field.
I’m kinda an off road guy
Or those that ride the brake pedal!
I drove cross country several times at a good clip. BMW drivers saved me from a lot of speeding tickets. Get in front of the Beemer, drop your speed about 1 mile an hour, and the Beemer driver will shoot out and pass you. Let him get a few hundred yards ahead of you and follow him. He’ll get pulled over before you do! God bless beemer drivers!
In California, there is no such thing as lane change signaling. If you see someone with a signal blinking on a freeway it means that driver is requesting that cars block him on the signal side.
Blocking is state law. Try signaling for it and you’ll see.
Don’t signal and you want be blocked.
I got into a duel with another driving my family up from Virgina to Massachusetts for Christmas in 1987. On a lonley stretch of the NJ Turnpike in the dead of night, I’m in cruise control in my ‘86 Astro doing a comfortable 65 MPH (speed limit 55) minding my own business. Out of the inky darkness another car overtakes me, and shifts into my lane, the right lane (it’s two lane in this stretch) and slows down to 55!
No problem, I go into the left lane resume cruise control and when I am safely ahead, shift right. You know where this is going, he overtakes, and squats in front of me and slows down to 55. This goes on a few times, the fouth or fifth time, I don’t touch the brakes when he pulls in front of me and slowly creep up on his bumper. When I’m about half a car length behind him, my wife inquires, “Why don’t you just leave him alone?” in *that* tone of voice.
The same thing happened coming down from Maine. Only in broad daylight. A Yorker woman, with two young men, probably sons, in her car did this on I-95, in much heavier traffic, and me in lane 2 of 4, counting from the left. I finally pulled up to a foot behind her bumper, at which point she pulled over to the right and left me alone.
want == won’t
Gee, they seem like pretty nice cars to me. Wish I could afford one...
Mercedes drivers are worse.
That is just too funny.
Why do seniors drive 46 mph every where. Urban or interstate...
Why do I have to punch the accelerator to th floor on my diesel to dim a tailgating fool with their high beams on with clouds of black smoke .....:o)
Another big influence is how much gun control a state has. The more gun control, the more rude the drivers. An armed society is a polite society.
You certainly could be right on that one.
I got into a duel with another driving my family up from Virgina to Massachusetts for Christmas in 1987. On the NJ Turnpike, I’m in cruise control in my ‘86 Astro doing a comfortable 65 MPH (speed limit 55) minding my own business. Out of the inky darkness another car overtakes me, and shifts into my lane, the right lane (it’s two lane in this stretch) and slows down to 55!
No problem, I go into the left lane resume cruise control and when I am safely ahead, shift right. You know where this is going, he overtakes, and squats infront of me and slows down to 55. This goes on a few times, the fouth or fifth time, I don’t touch the brakes when he pulls in front of me and slowly creep up on his bumper. When I’m about half a car length behind him, my wife inquires, “Why don’t you just leave him alone?” in *that* tone of voice.
The same thing happened coming down from Maine, only
The stiffer springs on a 4x4 leave two good choices on speed bumps.
1) Slow down significantly.
2) Go for it.
Also depends on tire size.
Around here, it’s Lexus drivers.
You should ride with my mother in law in the Buick, God bless her. She constantly corrects the steering wheel, left right, left right, about 3 times a second regardless of road condition. She must think she's in the Dusenburg.
Luckily, she always lets me drive if I offer (after I move the seat back 2 feet and down 1.) :)
Agreed and that’s so true. In these parts, turn signals are a sign of weakness.
Cracks me up.
Seriously. The moment you signal, at least one other driver around you will make some inconvenient response. Guaranteed.
Nothing wrong with that. Much better than the person with the habit of never using them, or the one that really gets me, using them as they are making the turn, not turning them on 50 or 100 yards before the turn.
God knows anytime I want to read something fair and balanced, of uncompromising literary quality, full of new thoughts and ideas, I always turn to something with the word “asshat” in the title!
The Phaeton is a 4 door. I’m not sure what that is, it looks like a concept car.
The Phaeton didn’t do well and has been take off the market. There are a very few here in the U.S., and a buddy in Germany bought a used diesel one there a few years ago for a song that he used to replace the Buick Riviera he took back. We visited about 5 years ago when they still had the Rivie, and let me tell you, THAT car got you some looks in Germany. You could just see people thinking “What the HECK is THAT!?”
Lately, on my early morning drive to work, any kind of pickup, new or old, seems to be at least 5 mi/h under the speed limit. Used to be they would be flying and changing four lanes back and forth at a shot. Driving like Beamer pilots, essentially. (I own a pickup BTW, but don't use it for everyday driving.)
Once I came up on a goose that was standing in the middle of my lane. It was not about to move, and as I went around it, it stood there honking at me!
I’d much rather have useless signals than people not using them when needed or never using them at all.
Knowing what the other guy is going to do comes in very handy.
One thing that really gets me is the following. I’m driving along at the end of a long line of cars. There are no cars behind me for a mile. Some idiot pulls out of a street or drive to jump in ahead of me. He had to have saved at least 3 seconds on his trip.
I’m sorry I missed *that* wild ride....LOL
I’ve been jammin’ to Uriah Heep on YouTube.
[too lazy to get up and get my CDs or iPod]...;D
Now to wind down with a little Trower.
When I was 12, I got a “portable” [friggin’ huge] 8 track player I took everywhere with me.
Had a case for the tapes and everything....looked like I was going backpacking all the time.
[God bless whomever invented MP3s...toting around 7500 songs on 8 tracks would kill me]
Or the opposite.
Around here we have turn lanes in the middle of the street. Too often, while in the left lane, someone will put on their left turn signal, almost come to a complete stop, while slowly (and I mean slowly) creeping into the turn lane, only fully being in it when they have to actually make the turn. Meanwhile, all the cars behind them are slowed to a crawl while the turn lane remains wide open...
Then we have the jokers in the right lane, who, on noticing a car slowing down in the left lane to take the above stated left turn, will slow down to match the speed of that guy turning left! I guess it’s instinctual, as they don’t want to get caught overtaking in the right lane, which used to be illegal.
It's an Eos (or an Eos concept car). But speaking of Phaetons, this video shows them being built in Germany, the factory is incredible.
Would you believe hardwood floors in a factory?
Another thing. I was taught that if you want to turn left at a green traffic light you are supposed to pull into the intersection a bit short of the center and wait for oncoming traffic to pass. Then you turn. This way, at least one or two cars can make the turn.
Lately, I’ve been behind a lot of people who wait behind the crosswalk and don’t get to turn. I’ve been behind people who have gone through two lights before they could turn. Happened just the other day.
Don’t they teach this in drivers ed? Did they change the rules and not tell me?
I don't know how many times I've been stuck behind Granny Gums tootling down the road at 25mph in a 40 or 50 mph zone. And when they turn, you might as well put it in park and whip out a magazine, cause you're gonna be there for a while.
Anytime I see a car up ahead that has a handicap sticker hanging from the rearview mirror or that familiar wheelchair on the license plate, I put any ideas about getting to where I'm going on time completely out of my mind.
How about the idiots who use turn signals when there is no need for one. Such as they are in a place where they have to make a turn. My observation is that same people fail to put on their headlights when it rains. Plus they dont signal when they should at least as a courtesy/heads up to others.
Hilarious. Stressing about folks who use turn signals too much. Try the decaf.
It’s called force of habit, Dennis. I catch myself doing it sometimes when I turn into the parking garage at work for no other reason than I am making a right turn where the right turn is the only option.
I am a bit concerned that you have followed enough of the unnecessary turn signal users to come up with the theory that they also don’t signal when they should and don’t turn their lights on when it rans. Again, try the decaf and maybe consider letting it go.
Because they know the radar gun will be pointed at them first.
So true. The fastest vehicle from Point A to Point B is probably something like a gray-green Subaru Forester with a thick coat of dirt. Add the WRX model's go-fast bits and pieces to that mini-wagon and you'd have a road-going rally car that the cops would tend to ignore. Sort of like the "Jackie Chan" entry in the original Cannonball Run, minus the rocket engine.
Me too - at least we will never forget to use them if it's automatic (besides, in most locales it's law anyway - a turn is a turn).
That must explain the idiot in my subdivision who has a beautiful M3 convertible and, despite keeping it detailed like a show car, has the entire rear window covered (neatly) in duct tape. He must be saving up for the repair before the lease expires.
I bought a VW Touareg TDI - we r not allowed to drive like BMW or Mercedes drivers.
I've been wondering the same thing lately. Is it from all the signal cameras that get you if you are in the intersection when the light turns red?
drive the speed limit in the FAST lane...
You must be referring to the Prius drivers. They should do us all a favor and save the planet from the right hand lane.
Well, the BMW driver who ran into the rear of the F250 near downtown FW at 2:30 yesterday will be whining to the repair man for a while! Plastic grill meet immovable object!
“Who are the people that flip on the right hand blinker and then make a left?”
Residents of Sun City.
If $150k isn't considered a decent household income in your neighborhood -- well, I sure wish I could afford to live there!
Around here, if there are 3 lanes, the center lane is always the slowest.
Except when there’s an exit coming up. Then the right lane backs up as idiots drop down to 10 under the limit so they don’t miss the exit.
If only it did not have the VW emblem on the front.