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Secret document reveals why BMW drivers are asshats
Jalopnik ^

Posted on 12/21/2011 12:23:43 AM PST by Impala64ssa

A leaked document has revealed that the asshattery of BMW drivers may be more than coincidence. Failing to use turn signals, cutting off other drivers, tailgating, flipping the bird and other affronts to road civility have become indelibly associated with the Bavarian Marque. Why? According to the document, it's all part of a totally illegal customer loyalty scheme.

This template document, issued to all BMW dealers (click the image below to expand), comes to us from an anonymous informant known only as "The Whistleblower." It clearly outlines a list of driving behaviors, recorded on the black boxes that have been standard on all new BMWs for several years now and translated into points.

Accumulated points can then be traded for the kind of fabulous prizes middle management Bimmer drivers most covet, such as anger management classes and male botox injections.

(Excerpt) Read more at jalopnik.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: bmw
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To: Explorer89

In California, there is no such thing as lane change signaling. If you see someone with a signal blinking on a freeway it means that driver is requesting that cars block him on the signal side.

Blocking is state law. Try signaling for it and you’ll see.

Don’t signal and you want be blocked.


61 posted on 12/21/2011 3:44:02 AM PST by 386wt ( /s)
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To: mylife

I got into a duel with another driving my family up from Virgina to Massachusetts for Christmas in 1987. On a lonley stretch of the NJ Turnpike in the dead of night, I’m in cruise control in my ‘86 Astro doing a comfortable 65 MPH (speed limit 55) minding my own business. Out of the inky darkness another car overtakes me, and shifts into my lane, the right lane (it’s two lane in this stretch) and slows down to 55!

No problem, I go into the left lane resume cruise control and when I am safely ahead, shift right. You know where this is going, he overtakes, and squats in front of me and slows down to 55. This goes on a few times, the fouth or fifth time, I don’t touch the brakes when he pulls in front of me and slowly creep up on his bumper. When I’m about half a car length behind him, my wife inquires, “Why don’t you just leave him alone?” in *that* tone of voice.

The same thing happened coming down from Maine. Only in broad daylight. A Yorker woman, with two young men, probably sons, in her car did this on I-95, in much heavier traffic, and me in lane 2 of 4, counting from the left. I finally pulled up to a foot behind her bumper, at which point she pulled over to the right and left me alone.


62 posted on 12/21/2011 3:46:17 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Ceterum autem censeo, Obama delenda est.)
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To: 386wt

want == won’t


63 posted on 12/21/2011 3:46:28 AM PST by 386wt
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To: Impala64ssa

Gee, they seem like pretty nice cars to me. Wish I could afford one...


64 posted on 12/21/2011 3:52:00 AM PST by Jack Hammer
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Pack animals!


65 posted on 12/21/2011 3:53:54 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
When I’m about half a car length behind him, my wife inquires, “Why don’t you just leave him alone?” in *that* tone of voice.

Hilarious!

66 posted on 12/21/2011 3:56:33 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

Mercedes drivers are worse.


67 posted on 12/21/2011 4:00:45 AM PST by Fresh Wind ('People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook.' Richard M. Nixon)
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To: 386wt

That is just too funny.


68 posted on 12/21/2011 4:00:49 AM PST by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: mylife

Why do seniors drive 46 mph every where. Urban or interstate...

Why do I have to punch the accelerator to th floor on my diesel to dim a tailgating fool with their high beams on with clouds of black smoke .....:o)


69 posted on 12/21/2011 4:01:25 AM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: Jonty30
Psych studies have shown that wealthy people tend to be more calloused about social graces, due to the lesser need for them, because they are more self-sufficient.

Another big influence is how much gun control a state has. The more gun control, the more rude the drivers. An armed society is a polite society.

70 posted on 12/21/2011 4:04:18 AM PST by Reeses (TV gives men a window into what women want, and it isn't pretty.)
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To: Reeses

You certainly could be right on that one.


71 posted on 12/21/2011 4:09:45 AM PST by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: mylife

I got into a duel with another driving my family up from Virgina to Massachusetts for Christmas in 1987. On the NJ Turnpike, I’m in cruise control in my ‘86 Astro doing a comfortable 65 MPH (speed limit 55) minding my own business. Out of the inky darkness another car overtakes me, and shifts into my lane, the right lane (it’s two lane in this stretch) and slows down to 55!

No problem, I go into the left lane resume cruise control and when I am safely ahead, shift right. You know where this is going, he overtakes, and squats infront of me and slows down to 55. This goes on a few times, the fouth or fifth time, I don’t touch the brakes when he pulls in front of me and slowly creep up on his bumper. When I’m about half a car length behind him, my wife inquires, “Why don’t you just leave him alone?” in *that* tone of voice.

The same thing happened coming down from Maine, only


72 posted on 12/21/2011 4:12:40 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Ceterum autem censeo, Obama delenda est.)
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To: Little Pig

Bingo.

The stiffer springs on a 4x4 leave two good choices on speed bumps.

1) Slow down significantly.
2) Go for it.

Also depends on tire size.


73 posted on 12/21/2011 4:18:21 AM PST by Cringing Negativism Network ("FREE TRADERS": Self-loathing Americans)
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To: Fresh Wind

Around here, it’s Lexus drivers.


74 posted on 12/21/2011 4:20:28 AM PST by Cringing Negativism Network ("FREE TRADERS": Self-loathing Americans)
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To: Squantos
"Why do seniors drive 46 mph every where?"

You should ride with my mother in law in the Buick, God bless her. She constantly corrects the steering wheel, left right, left right, about 3 times a second regardless of road condition. She must think she's in the Dusenburg.

Luckily, she always lets me drive if I offer (after I move the seat back 2 feet and down 1.) :)

75 posted on 12/21/2011 4:23:27 AM PST by SnuffaBolshevik (In a tornado, even turkeys can fly.)
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To: 386wt

Lol.

Agreed and that’s so true. In these parts, turn signals are a sign of weakness.

Cracks me up.

Seriously. The moment you signal, at least one other driver around you will make some inconvenient response. Guaranteed.


76 posted on 12/21/2011 4:25:19 AM PST by Cringing Negativism Network ("FREE TRADERS": Self-loathing Americans)
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To: Explorer89

Nothing wrong with that. Much better than the person with the habit of never using them, or the one that really gets me, using them as they are making the turn, not turning them on 50 or 100 yards before the turn.


77 posted on 12/21/2011 4:28:25 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Impala64ssa

God knows anytime I want to read something fair and balanced, of uncompromising literary quality, full of new thoughts and ideas, I always turn to something with the word “asshat” in the title!

Just sayin.
Whatever...


78 posted on 12/21/2011 4:32:47 AM PST by djf (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2801220/posts)
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To: mylife

The Phaeton is a 4 door. I’m not sure what that is, it looks like a concept car.

The Phaeton didn’t do well and has been take off the market. There are a very few here in the U.S., and a buddy in Germany bought a used diesel one there a few years ago for a song that he used to replace the Buick Riviera he took back. We visited about 5 years ago when they still had the Rivie, and let me tell you, THAT car got you some looks in Germany. You could just see people thinking “What the HECK is THAT!?”


79 posted on 12/21/2011 4:34:20 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Impala64ssa
Ive got a '55 chevy 210 sedan. It does have an automatic(powerglide), but with a single pot master cylinder and 4 wheel drums I've learned a bit of "anticipatory driving".

CC

80 posted on 12/21/2011 4:41:13 AM PST by Celtic Conservative (Wisdom comes from experience. Experience comes from a lack of wisdom.)
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