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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas
The Register (Brit Tech) ^
| 2011-12-16
| Lester Haines
Posted on 12/26/2011 7:17:55 PM PST by dayglored
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To: ThE_RiPpEr.
>
Well, I guess we all knew the Star Wars kid would have to grow up eventually. Are you saying this guy is grown-up?
I'm inclined to suspect a case of arrested development.... or a meth-head.
21
posted on
12/26/2011 7:48:44 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: SunkenCiv
>
...the Meth is what gives a lightsabre-wielding dork his power. Its an energy field cooked up from every conceiveable thing, including lithium batteries. It surrounds them and penetrates then. It binds their imaginary galaxy together."Dork! Use The Farce, Dork!!"
22
posted on
12/26/2011 7:50:52 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: BenKenobi
>
The Force is strong with this one. "It's twooo, it's twooo!!"
(Blazing Saddles ref)
23
posted on
12/26/2011 7:55:26 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: dayglored; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
24
posted on
12/26/2011 8:09:32 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: ThE_RiPpEr.
I want to see him face off with the “I like turtles” zombie kid.
To: Old Sarge; ThE_RiPpEr.
The incident warped his mind - he became a
lawyer.
26
posted on
12/26/2011 8:14:45 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: dayglored
First there was Bob Dobbs and his Church of Slack (aka Church of the Subgenius).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_SubGenius
Then came along the First Church of Shatnerology.
Welcome to the Most Holy-n- High Church of the Blinding Light of the Holy Glowing Form of the One Toupeed and Gloriously Bloated Shatner!
http://www.shatnerology.com/
Now we have...
Church of the Jedi
http://www.jedichurch.org/
It’s not just a Force, it’s a religion!
Jedi Census Phenomenon (Here’s a great way to screw with the US Census.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_census_phenomenon
The Jedi census phenomenon is a grassroots movement that was initiated in 2001 for residents of a number of English-speaking countries, urging them to record their religion as “Jedi” or “Jedi Knight” (after the quasi-religious order of Jedi Knights in the fictional Star Wars universe) on the national census.
Jediism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jediism
During the drafting of the UK Racial and Religious Hatred Act, as a tool for debate, an amendment was proposed that excluded Jedi Knights from any protection. The amendment was subsequently withdrawn, the proposer having made his point that defining religious belief in legislation is difficult.
27
posted on
12/26/2011 8:15:52 PM PST
by
Jack Hydrazine
(It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
To: dayglored
28
posted on
12/26/2011 8:18:00 PM PST
by
Jack Hydrazine
(It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
To: central_va
*You know The Force is really Duct Tape, it has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together...
29
posted on
12/26/2011 8:20:35 PM PST
by
null and void
(Day 1069 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
To: Slings and Arrows
But do they have tall glasses of ice cold milk for dunking?
They never say.
30
posted on
12/26/2011 8:27:35 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(*Philosophy lesson 117-22b: Anyone who demands to be respected is undeserving of it.*)
To: dayglored
evidently threatening a severe disruption to the balance of The Force.Well, I'm really glad justice prevailed.
31
posted on
12/26/2011 8:42:46 PM PST
by
John123
(US$ - I owe you nothing. Euro - Who owes you nothing.)
To: Slings and Arrows
>
The incident warped his mind - he became a lawyer. A lawyer, eh? Well, that basically says he went from being ridiculed by nearly the entire population of Earth, to being reviled by the entire population of Earth.
I notice that the picture of him all dressed up nice is a still shot, not a video.
Because there are some things even YouTube just won't do...
32
posted on
12/26/2011 8:48:51 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: Jack Hydrazine
I’ve met a few day shift managers like him, though....
33
posted on
12/26/2011 8:55:42 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: dayglored
“Let them hate, as long as they fear.”
34
posted on
12/26/2011 9:13:25 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
“Oderint dum metuant”, eh, Caligula? Well said, though I believe the attribution is not without dispute.
35
posted on
12/26/2011 9:28:14 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: dayglored
“The lightsaber is the weapon of a Jedi, an elegant weapon of a more civilized age. In comparison, Tasers are crude, inaccurate and loud affairs”
36
posted on
12/26/2011 10:01:08 PM PST
by
Oztrich Boy
(Whatever happened to that Amy Summerland sailing chick?)
To: central_va
I resemble some of those remarks. ;-)
37
posted on
12/27/2011 6:23:55 AM PST
by
Stonewall Jackson
(Democrats: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.")
To: Political Junkie Too; dolander2002
A shaken Sgt. Pete Simpson... Is this what passes for law enforcement in England these days?
Sgt. Pete Simpson is the PIO for the Portland Oregon Police Bureau. I highly doubt that much of anything would "shake" him. He is unflappable and professional in his duties.
To: martin_fierro
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
39
posted on
12/27/2011 4:34:39 PM PST
by
Delta 21
(Make your choice ! There are NO civilians.)
To: sinanju
That reminded me of the 1989 John Ritter comedy Skin Deep.
40
posted on
12/27/2011 4:56:36 PM PST
by
xp38
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