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Some Healing for Woman Bullied as a Teen
Yahoo! ^ | May 18, 2012 | Pueng Vongs

Posted on 05/18/2012 7:22:19 PM PDT by floridavoter2

A woman who was bullied mercilessly in high school 25 years ago has gotten some closure from a class reunion page on Facebook.

Lynda Frederick, a graduate of Orange Glen High in Escondido, Calif., in 1987, posted a heartbreaking poem about her experience on her school's 25th class reunion page.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
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To: floridavoter2; exDemMom; et al

Boy you people just don’t get it. Stop hatin’ on me and listen.

So you were ganged up on? Ever ask yourself why? Hell, I was ganged up on. I knew why.

What matters is how you deal with it.

Let me tell you what 99% of you have missed here. Did you see any words from me about ‘throwing hands’? I can count on one hand and have fingers left over the number of times I had to do that (but I never lost when I did, damn it).

It’s about ATTITUDE. How you carry yourself. I challenged those who challenged me. I didn’t say “Oh yeah? Meet me behind the school at 4” or any of that sophomoric crap.

It’s all about standing up to them as a PERSON, a human being who is NOT afraid or intimidated by them.

If it is a group with a “leader”....of course, you go straight for that leader in front of their peeps. Full view. Take ‘em on....and again, notice I’m not talking about taking a swing or inviting one.

Are there really that many weak-willed people in this country?????? It’s determination and lack of fear that makes them back down. Ironically, many times those same bullies wanted to be my friend afterward. I’ll let you guess why.


41 posted on 05/18/2012 8:44:25 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Kakaze

Finally just saw your #2 reply....and by now, you see I totally agree with you. Of course, I’m being gutted on this thread for stating it in a different way (your focus on how to deal with it later; mine on how to deal with it when encountering it).

God bless.


42 posted on 05/18/2012 8:46:28 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Blue Highway

I am for that, but without the asanine prosecutor afterward.
Solves the problem, both with the little thugs and the non parents that let them be thugs.


43 posted on 05/18/2012 8:46:55 PM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: driftdiver
"Must be nice to live in such a simple world."

It really is. It has served me well through the decades. Scroll up a tad and see why.

44 posted on 05/18/2012 8:49:45 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline
When I was in the 5th grade we moved to Baltimore City - early 70’s. A few days after I started in the new school, two girls (white girls BTW, FWIW) decided they didn’t like me, for what reason I don’t know except I was a good girl, smart and perhaps to them, a bit nerdy, and they confronted me on the play ground during recess and told me, “We don’t like you and are going to beat you up after school”. “Tell a teacher and we will beat you up even worse”. And “We know where you live and we will come after you”.

I was terrified. I never experienced anything like this before. And I had not yet made any friends at school and felt completely alone and I didn’t know what to do. So I decided to ignore them and their threats.

But as soon as I left school to walk home, these two girls confronted me, along with just about all the other kids in the school who got wind of the fight. One of the girls pushed me into the other girl who then punched me in the arm and threw me to the ground.

I’m a little hazy about what happened next but I recall being very angry and getting up and swinging my book bag into one gal’s mid section, knocking her to the ground, and then swinging hard and landing a hard punch to the face of the other girl and giving her a bloody nose and fat lip. I do recall the gasps and then the cheers of the other kids, a lot whom had been bullied by these two. I’d never in my young life had ever been in a fight before and didn’t know I had it in me.

A teacher came along and broke up the fight, that I was winning and we all went to the principal’s office and our parents were called.

That night I explained to my parents, especially my dad about what had happened. My dad had experienced something similar when he started school as a newly arrived immigrant to America when he was bullied for “talking funny”.

My parents told me that regardless of what these girls said, that I should have gone to a teacher, but my father also told me that I was right to stand up and to defend myself and he was proud of me for doing so under the circumstances and when he met with the principal the next day, he said the same to her and I didn’t get suspended.

The next day one of the two girls, the one who punched me, came to me and said something to effect of “I respect you, you’re tough and I want to be your friend”. I told her “I don’t what to fight you, and I don’t what to be your enemy, but sorry, I don’t want to be your friend”.

But I made lots of other friends and neither of these two girls nor anyone else ever messed with me again. I actually ended up feeling sorry for the girl who punched me up and eventually became friends with her some years later during high school – she had a very bad home life, lot’s of horrible abuse and neglect; but she rose above all that and eventually pulled herself up and became a totally different person as she got older. Last I heard from her she had gotten a college degree and became a pharmacist¸ had gotten married and had a few kids. Last I heard the other girl was serving time in prison for various charges including assault and battery.

45 posted on 05/18/2012 8:49:55 PM PDT by MD Expat in PA
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To: RightOnline
It’s about ATTITUDE. How you carry yourself.

Sometimes that's not the whole solution. But you do bring up an excellent point! A strong attitude goes a long, long way. And by "strong attitude", I mean a look-'em-in-the-eye sense of self-confidence. I'm sure you meant the same thing.

It's something that children should be taught at an early age. Certainly before they get to high school!

46 posted on 05/18/2012 8:54:27 PM PDT by Leaning Right (Why am I carrying this lantern? you ask. I am looking for the next Reagan.)
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To: RightOnline
Know how to stop them? Ridiculously simple. Stand up to them. Challenge them. Get in their faces. Like all cowards, they back down. Every time.

No they don't. I was small as a kid and had to learn to fight. I had to fight several times though jr high and high school.

I still unreservedly hate bullies.

47 posted on 05/18/2012 9:02:31 PM PDT by bad company (There are no illegal guns, just undocumented firearms.)
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To: MD Expat in PA

Wow. Thank you. Said it better than I or anyone else here could.


48 posted on 05/18/2012 9:03:11 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Leaning Right

It’s really true, and definitely carries into adulthood. I could expand on that here, but it would take too long and would divert the discussion....but you are absolutely, positively correct.


49 posted on 05/18/2012 9:06:12 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: bad company

Yes...but how often did you have to fight the same guy twice?


50 posted on 05/18/2012 9:07:41 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline

Sometimes attitude has zero to do with it and will not help.


51 posted on 05/18/2012 9:09:34 PM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: RightOnline; Kakaze

Really? So, tell me, if you went to work tomorrow and a gang of people beat you up, berated you mercilessly about anything, and stole your money, would you just accept it? No, you’d call the cops. We expect kids to endure things that no adult would.

The problem is government schools and the forced association due to compulsory attendance. The society in schools resembles that seen in prisons, because schools are prisons. Get government out of education completely, then parents will have real options for their kids and schools will have an incentive to respond to their customers concerns. Also, let kids move along in school as they are able and graduate when ready. There is no reason to force bright kids to sit in dull classrooms for 12 years.

Schools are still operated as they were 100 years ago. If the same thing had happened in transportation, we would still be riding horses.


52 posted on 05/18/2012 9:10:40 PM PDT by Pining_4_TX ( The state is the great fiction by which everybody seeks to live at the expense of everybody else. ~)
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To: Pining_4_TX
"So, tell me, if you went to work tomorrow and a gang of people beat you up, berated you mercilessly about anything, and stole your money, would you just accept it? No, you’d call the cops."

LMAO..........you quite obviously don't know me. :)

No no no.........first, that wouldn't happen. Second, if the stars aligned wrongly and it was attempted, I'd leave a ton of their blood on the floor, no question.

Next....I'd take care of the rest entirely on my own. To hell with the cops in such a situation.

53 posted on 05/18/2012 9:16:08 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Pining_4_TX
NO!

I would fight back.

54 posted on 05/18/2012 9:17:16 PM PDT by Kakaze (I want the Republic back !)
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To: RightOnline; Kakaze

OK, let me give you this scenario. A large number of violent people knock you down to the ground and start pulling your hair out by the handfuls. Another student has her face cut with razor blades. Now, tell me, what would you do if you were outnumbered by about 30 to 1 with no weapons? And, please, we are talking about kids here. Don’t tell me they can fight back.


55 posted on 05/18/2012 9:20:20 PM PDT by Pining_4_TX ( The state is the great fiction by which everybody seeks to live at the expense of everybody else. ~)
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To: Pining_4_TX
You fight it is Seregetti plain stuff but you fight.

The calvary coming over the hill is a luxury you can't count on.

56 posted on 05/18/2012 9:22:36 PM PDT by Kakaze (I want the Republic back !)
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To: Kakaze

Nonsense. You show me some teenage girl who can do that. They usually suffer in silence. Parents should take their kids out of schools if they are being bullied.


57 posted on 05/18/2012 9:27:26 PM PDT by Pining_4_TX ( The state is the great fiction by which everybody seeks to live at the expense of everybody else. ~)
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To: Pining_4_TX

So let me counter:

Let’s say you get attacked by 100....what do you do? Quick. Tell me. Let’s assume you have neither A) a machine gun, B) hand grenades, or C) a force field.

Quick....tell me what you would do.

What a ridiculous, straw-man argument. You fight back all you can, take out all you can, break all the kneecaps and noses you can, until you’re beaten into the ground.

After you recover....remember the faces. I’ll leave the rest up to you.


58 posted on 05/18/2012 9:27:39 PM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: RightOnline
This is the problem, kids don't fight back because adults have abdicated their responsibility. I'm not talking about being a bully I'm talking about standing your ground.

This entire country has lost its perspective when it comes to growing up.

59 posted on 05/18/2012 9:30:44 PM PDT by Kakaze (I want the Republic back !)
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To: RightOnline

Then you go back the next day to the same situation? Hell no! That is what kids face. This isn’t a one time assault. It’s a permanent conditon until they can get out of that lousy school. It’s up to parents to protect their kids and take them out of these situations.


60 posted on 05/18/2012 9:31:59 PM PDT by Pining_4_TX ( The state is the great fiction by which everybody seeks to live at the expense of everybody else. ~)
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