guess we know who wears the pants in that family...
Posted on 07/15/2012 6:20:51 AM PDT by marktwain
I am not allowed to have a gun.
And that’s the truth. Literally, not allowed. My wife won’t let me have a gun. Not sure I want a gun, but it doesn’t matter. Not allowed. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d sooner be granted my lifelong wish to frolic in a chocolate pudding bath with Jennifer Love Hewitt before my lovely wife would let me wrap my hands around a Glock Magnum 747.
I don’t know much about guns. But I do know there’s a part of me that wants one. Not because I want to shoot it, or because I’m clinging to the second amendment (which was written when it took 15 seconds or so to reload a musket), or because I’m some gun collector who wants to own every gun ever produced.
Nope, I kinda-sorta want a gun so that if someone ever puts me or my family at risk, I can shoot them dead.
That said, even if my wife said I was allowed to own one, I still don’t know if I’d get one. Without sounding too much like a pansy, the fact remains: Guns are scary.
But I have been thinking about it lately, especially after I found out a childhood friend of mine recently become a gun owner. He has it for the same reason I would want one: To protect his family.
And while for a majority of readers out there, a friend owning a gun isn’t cause to write a column about it, trust me: Where I come from, with my background, it’s the equivalent of a lifelong NRA member deciding to purchase a nuclear weapon for protection.
At the risk of stereotyping myself and a few thousand years of one of the world’s major religions, American Jews from middle to upper middle class backgrounds don’t normally grow up with guns.
An example of the anti-gun life I grew up in: The same high school friend of mine, along with a dozen or so other buddies, decided to engage in plastic pellet gun war during our junior year in high school. This went on for weeks, at malls, at school, sneak attacks at home, wherever. It was fun. But know this: when shot with these — even at point blank range right into an unblinking eye — the risk of injury was about the same as having a wayward molecule of oxygen go up your nose.
Yet despite the non-threatening nature of these devices, we managed to upset all of our mothers with our gunplay, including one mom who was convinced we were (very literally) sniffing glue when sitting at her kitchen table decorating our faux-weapons. Yes that’s right. Decorating them. Personalizing them, really. (This little anecdote really tells you all you need to know about me, guns, my youth and Jewish mothers of a certain generation.)
Too late for that, Jeff. FAR too late.
the fact remains: Guns are scary.
Grab your man purse and go have a latte.
Bumpersticker seen on a Tennessee plated vehicle
I GOT A GUN FOR MY WIFE
Best trade I ever made!
Bingo. It’s one of he first things I discussed with my bride before we were married. She must really love me, since she bought me a Colt SAA for my 30th birthday way back when......
Heck, I read on gun forums all the time where some guy brags that his wife "gave him permission" to buy another gun.
Permission?
Wives (and women in general) are like dorittos - they’ll make more.
I wish him well on his journey. He needs to seriously consider this personal responsibilities to defend life and property. I assume he lives in Trenton given the source of the article. Trenton, and most cities in general,, are crime ridden hell holes because men have abdicated their right to own and use weapons.
Men like these think the government will keep them safe. The ironic part of that is they live in places where government has failed and will always fail in that regard. The police rarely show up before a crime has been committed.
I loathe beta males. Not saying you have to be a macho dick but, c’mon.
“You can act like a man! *SLAP*” - Godfather
guess we know who wears the pants in that family...
I find it hard to believe a man wrote this piece. Even for NJ he sounds deficient.
Just bide your time and your sweetie will come around.
You can accelerate things by leaving your front door unlocked most nights. Or leave little gas in the car for late night drives with the lovely.
She or you may be dead or robbed before she comes around, but after that first robbery or mugging, she’ll be running for NRA president.
Exactly. If it's not in the marriage vows, he can do as he pleases. Mine did, may he rest in peace...
Or he's counting on it that "Again" will just not occur.
Likewise, all too many of the self-styled patriots who say "Molon labe!" and they ARE armed.
Being armed is just the first item on the checklist. One also needs a backbone.
~Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis"
~Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis"
oh, yeah... 
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