Posted on 07/26/2012 4:23:29 PM PDT by Republican Wildcat
All the protestors are right. We should boycott Chick-fil-A.
When I first read that COO Dan Cathy was opposed to gay marriage, I burst into tears.
Why does the president of Chick-fil-A, one of the four icons of the American food industry along with Wendy Thomas, Colonel Sanders, and Ronald McDonald, think he has the right to have an opinion? Especially considering it is such a vile one that only about half of the American population share.
Move over, chicken sandwich — Chick-fil-A has invented a new meal. It’s the hate burger, and it comes with an extra side of hate sauce.
Never mind the fact that only one major presidential candidate has ever supported gay marriage, and that one person, President Barack Obama, only took that stance recently. This is different. The Cathy family has a billion times more influence over public policy than any politician ever will.
After all, they are such prolific lobbyists of Congress. If they start influencing our legislators, the debate will be over and all hope for marriage equality will be lost. All because you devoured that delicious 12-pack nugget meal with succulent waffle fries, a large homemade lemonade and Polynesian sauce.
Who knew someone could change the world by eating just one lunch?
Their influence is extended even more by all those hateful, conservative organizations and charities they donate to. The worst is that WinShape Foundation that provides scholarships, foster homes and counseling.
Don’t let its positive impact on the community fool you; it is all part of the plan to brainwash Americans, build an army, reinstate the Crusades and eliminate all those who do not do exactly as the Bible commands.
As hard as it may be, do not be tempted to quit your boycott of the Evil Chicken Empire, particularly by one of their minions. When a sexy Chick-fil-A cashier looks you in the eye, licks his or her lips, and says, “My pleasure,” in your ear, don’t cave in and order a limited-time peach milkshake while you still can.
Remember the cause. Remember the miniscule impact you’re potentially but probably not making.
I mean, it’s true that the thousands and thousands of people employed by Chick-fil-A who may or may not agree with Cathy’s position would be out of a job if it ceased to exist.
But that’s not a big deal. After all, the economy is doing great. They’ll be back on their feet in no time.
Personally, Chick-fil-A won’t be hard for me to boycott. I’ve been changing the world by boycotting things for years; I’ll just add them to my list of products I don’t buy.
For example, I avoid items such as “Brawny” paper towels, “Angel Soft” toilet paper, “Dixie” paper products as well as numerous other name brands. These are all made by Georgia-Pacific, which is owned by Koch Industries, which is owned by the Koch family, which sometimes donates to tea-party affiliated organizations, which sometimes protest gay marriage.
In fact, I’ve given up working just so I can spend all day everyday in Kroger making sure every product I buy with my food stamps doesn’t fund a penny to something I disagree with.
Sticking it to the man, bro!
Point being, it doesn’t matter what the debate is about, whether it be gay rights, abortion, capital punishment or the best Nicholas Cage movie. Privately owned companies have no right to form their own beliefs.
Because Chick-fil-A violated the 11th Commandment, “Thou shall have no personal opinions,” they deserve to be punished.
For now on, every day is Sunday.
And the next time I’m craving chicken during breakfast, I’ll just get mine from Zaxby’s.
Oh, wait.
I have lived near Minneapolis, MN for ten years. This is EXACTLY how the leftards function. Note I said function, not think.
He might have been writing for a local audience he thought would get the punch line at the end. But it's definitely not something that would be very widely understood.
“Is this supposed to be satire?”
Very much so...and rather funny at that.
In fact, I’ve given up working just so I can spend all day everyday in Kroger making sure every product I buy with my food stamps doesn’t fund a penny to something I disagree with.
Love it! Thanks for posting.
Great piece of satire that hits the nail right on the head.
Make sure to go to Chick-fil-A today for your hate-filled nuggets
Post a report here on how busy the place is (today’s the day to support chik-fil-A)
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