[Bender2]

Gadzooks, not only is it is dress rehearsal time, sportsfans... but for once in a blue moon, "Newsweek" and I agree on their cover story.

Okay, Thursday night games are as follows:

Green Bay 27 at Cincinnati 10: Pack victory & big's frenzy... honored on new USPS stamp--

Jacksonville 10 at Baltimore 14: Hitch still swears by that Black Byrd Defense... and so do I--

Arizona 9 at Tennessee 24: The Fisherless Boys... find another acorn--

Friday night it is Philadelphia 17 at Cleveland 24: The Real McCoy shows his stuff... in the 4th quarter--

Atlanta 35 at Miami 13: Vick's Old Team bites the Phins... right where it hurts--

New England 31 at Tampa Bay 17: If its good enough for Brady... its good enough for me--

San Diego 28 at Minnesota 9: Even a cross-dressing quarterback... cannot help the Viqueens--

Chicago 10 at NY Giants 3: Before all you Bears fans start screaming 'Defense! Defense!" just remember... Brian Urlacher just got dumped by Jenny McCarthy--

Jenny, why did you break up... with Brian Urlacher?

Well... well-- I guess--

It was when I found out Brian... was not a Dallas Cowboy.

Seattle 13 at Kansas City 27: MY Old Dallas Texans welcome the Seahags and disrupt... their dance routine--

Now, on Saturday night:

Indianapolis 24 at Washington 10: RG3 finds... Luck is not on his side--

Pittsburgh 38 at Buffalo 3: Yes, Big Ben is raping... and pillaging dead animals again!--

Detroit 24 at Oakland 9: Raider Fans on the outside... looking in again--

Houston 31 at New Orleans 10: The thousand yars and one-half stare... is still in effect--

Sunday is my 65th birthday and in my honor the NFL has these games:

San Francisco 27 at Denver 14: Old Man Manning drops his soap... in Denver shower--

Carolina 9 at NY Jets 31: Tebow's Widlcat runs... over Panthers--

Oh, yeah... almost forgot St. Louis 17 at Dallas 31: So many injuries, we had to used one of our Cowgals... at the tight end spot--

What's so funny, Charlie? Is it... Bendy's picks?

No, Denise, but I do find it funny... you are sleeping with Bender again--

Why, Charlie, why... would you think that?

Honey, I've seen... your new tattoo!

Bend! Say it ain't so? Not.... with Charlie Sheen's old, worn out squeeze--

STFU Chris! That's Bender... you are talking about!

[Bender2]

Okay, let's hear... ya'll picks?

[oh8eleven]

Carolina 9 at NY Jets 31: Tebow's Wildcat runs ...
Suuuuuurely you jets :)

[BenLurkin]

Go Browns

[Jumper]

Thanks for the enthusiasm for all football. Hate to even guess on preseason as it usually comes down to the deepest talent pool. This I think bodes better for the Bengals rather than those NYG’s who have a massive payroll in the first string whereas Cinci has a depth of talent and won’t see pay caps until after next season....
Cheers

[Jumper]

Thanks for the enthusiasm for all football. Hate to even guess on preseason as it usually comes down to the deepest talent pool. This I think bodes better for the Bengals rather than those GB Packers who have a massive payroll in the first string whereas Cinci has a depth of talent and won’t see pay caps until after next season....
Cheers

[Carl LaFong]

My prediction?:
A nice evening snooze.
“Pre-Season” games, glorified scrimmages, are industrial strength sleeping pills.

[AngelesCrestHighway]

Manning drops the soap again...LOL!...agreed!

[Pharmboy]

Now, now, Bendy...being a hater is not ever pretty. Was that your objective, conservative, logical mind that said my beloved GEE-Men will only score 3 itty-bitty points against Da Bares Friday night, or your emotions got the best of you?

[dainbramaged]

Pete Carroll has decided to start rookie quarterback Russell Wilson for the Kansas City game - this kid is going to be great, so hang on to your stadium cushion.

[blackie]

Bendy, you have them right except the Seahawks...they’re better than you think they are... ;)