Posted on 11/26/2012 1:17:44 PM PST by PJ-Comix
Have you been enjoying your Thanksgiving turkey leftovers? Do you have a preference for the white meat? If you do, then racism could explain why you prefer the white meat to the dark meat.
In an article worthy of The Onion but published in all seriousness in Slate, writer Ron Rosenbaum plumbs the depths of absolute ridiculousness to explain his white meat racism theory. First he details why white meat is supposedly so horrible:
(Excerpt) Read more at newsbusters.org ...
He’s upset at MooLatte, because it sounds too much like Mulatto. Wait until he finds out the cleaner they’ve been dispensing to so many Hispanic maids, etc., is called “Spic and Span.”
White meat is naturally drier and dark more scrumptious. But so long as the white meat is moist, it’s better in my opinion.
Brown meat turkey tasks gross to me. Almost slimy.
“he same thing happened to Sheryl Crowe after she suggested that people use just ONE square of toilet paper and after she was laughed at for the suggestion, she claimed she was just kidding”.
Congressman Hank Johnson tried making a similar claim after making the following mind blowingly stupid statements, watch and tell me if he’s joking:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg
What’s it mean if you have lots of black powder in your stash, but no white powder?
There seems to be no end to the valuable cultural references in that movie.
Couldn’t afford turkey this year. Never gave this stupid idea a thought. It’s about as demented as saying that people don’t like black cats or dogs because of racism. Or that babies are racist because they look longer at White faces (or is it Black faces?)
Never ate truffles! Like cheese, which is white. Prefer white wine over red. Must be a racist!
Yes it is and you’re clearly a racist. For your penance eat five Milky Ways
I like white turkey meat, but I also like fried chicken and watermelon.... does that balance it out??
The very next time my boat mechanic comes by, he’s Black, I am going to offer him a white meat turkey sandwich, just to see what he does.
Will he eat it, vomit at it’s sight, scream at it, beat it up, burn it, riot over it, accuse me of being a member of the KKK and run like heck?
I think I’ll wait until he is done working on my boat, but give him the sandwich right before I would have paid him. ;>)
I am starting to think that I need a T-shirt that reads, “I am not a racist — I HATE EVERYONE.
Maybe it because I prefer Breast!
I prefer dark meat turkey and loathe white bread.
Does this mean I’m self-hating?
Sort of. It's doubtful he was entirely serious about this. It's sensationalism, sort of the higher trolling: put something out there that's off the wall, but that you can say with a straight face and readers will read it both ways -- as crazy, but somehow brilliant. At least, if you judge your audience right they won't hold it against you.
It's pretty clear Rosenbaum couldn't have meant it wholly in earnest. Right at the beginning of his article, he notes the decline of white bread, something that "racism" didn't prevent. So if a whole generation gives up on white bread but doesn't lose its taste for white turkey meat how can they be racist? And are sophisticates who go in for (white) French or Italian bread more racist than the rest of us?
There's a long tradition of tongue in cheek holiday articles in the press, but if somebody out there is crazy enough to think Rosenbaum a genius for coming up with this, it doesn't hurt his career a bit.
This morning I chopped up left-over white and dark meat together, threw it in a skillet with onions and potatoes. Does that make me a psychopath?
A little concerning.
My daughter and I both like the dark turkey meat. Does thin mean we need to be leary of the prospects for “jungle fever?”
While I’m a single male, she’s got two little kids and is married to a decent guy!
I’d be curious to find out if there are any libs anywhere who having read Rosenbaum’s thoroughly demented, Onionesque screed who would name it as such? Maybe I’m a dope for thinking that libs have any integrity. When a few Pubbie pols made stupid statements concerning rape and God’s will, they were jumped on by all sorts of conservatives. But when lib scribblers and pols write or say the stupidest things, nary a peep can be heard from the herd of liberal brethren. Are they all this obtuse? I know...another stupid question.
Birds (chickens, turkeys) that do not fly south in the winter have white meat.
Birds that do fly south (dove, duck) do have dark meat.
Birds that have dark meat and are held in “bird slavery”, like penned up ducks and doves do not turn their meat white.
I’m sure there is a racial angle in there somewhere that will blame it on whitey.
hmmm
A victim of white guilt?
And if I put bacon on my cheeseburger, does that mean that I hate the middle eastern death cult that slices heads off living Jews and makes videos of it to post on Youtube for other bearded savage cultists to watch while eating halal popcorn?
I find this to be richly rewarding, yet uncommonly smooth.
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